As you step into the next phase of life, navigating post-college challenges and overcoming graduation anxiety requires not only practical skills but also emotional resilience. Understanding the post-college transition, managing anxiety, and building a strong foundation for success are critical components of this journey.

This article explores strategies to cope with post-graduation anxiety and offers advice on embracing personal growth while maintaining work-life balance.

The Post-College Transition

The emotional and psychological impact of graduating college can be profound. After spending years in an academic environment, suddenly stepping into the unknown world of adulthood can feel disorienting. The transition from a structured, routine-driven life to one filled with uncertain outcomes and personal responsibility is a major shift. Many new graduates find themselves asking, “What now?” or even feeling scared to graduate college.

The excitement of earning a degree can quickly fade as the reality of financial independence, career decisions, and personal growth sets in. During this transition, it’s common to experience:

• Sadness or a sense of loss
• Confusion about the future
• Feeling scared or worried
• Pressure to quickly secure a job or prove oneself
• Questioning if you’re doing the right thing

You may miss the camaraderie of campus life, the predictable schedule, and the feeling of being part of a community. External expectations can lead to a sense of inadequacy, leaving many wondering if they are on the right path.

The reality is that this period is one of self-discovery, growth, and trial and error. It’s essential to acknowledge that not having everything figured out immediately is perfectly normal. The transition can be smoother when approached with patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace uncertainty.

Understanding Post-Graduation Anxiety: Quarter-Life Crisis and Common Stressors

A significant psychological hurdle many recent graduates face is the quarter-life crisis, which is a period of doubt, confusion, and self-questioning typically occurring in the mid-20s. This often emerges as graduates feel unprepared to meet the expectations placed on them by society, family, or themselves.

Common stressors after college graduation include:

• Job uncertainty: Finding a job can be a difficult task– especially in a competitive market. Whether you have one lined up or are still job hunting, the pressure to secure employment is a major source of anxiety.
• Financial pressure: Paying off student loans, managing living expenses, and adjusting to a new financial reality are all significant challenges. Learning how to manage money effectively is a crucial step in easing post-graduation anxiety.
• Social comparison: Social media can make it seem like everyone else has it figured out. This can heighten feelings of inadequacy, especially as you are seeing peers achieving what appears to be success, whether it’s securing an impressive job, traveling the world, or starting a family.
• Identity and purpose: Transitioning from “students” to “college graduates” and then to “professionals” often requires deep introspection and a reevaluation of personal and career goals.

Recognizing that these experiences are normal (and that many others are going through the same thing) can help ease the pressure. There is no set timeline for success; everyone’s path is different.

Strategies to Manage Post-College Anxiety

While the post-graduation period can feel overwhelming, there are several strategies that can help ease anxiety and provide a sense of control and direction.

Set Realistic Career Goals

Setting realistic career goals is essential for navigating the job market. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the pressure to land your dream job right out of college but remember that career paths are rarely linear. Instead of focusing solely on the destination, create small, manageable goals to help you build your skills and gain experience.

How to Set Career Goals After College

Set both short-term and long-term objectives that are specific, measurable, and attainable. This approach will allow you to track progress and feel a sense of accomplishment, which is crucial for reducing anxiety.

Build a Support Network

Developing a support network of family, friends, mentors, and colleagues is crucial in overcoming post-graduation anxiety. Lean on your loved ones for emotional support and encouragement, and seek out mentors who can provide career advice and guidance.

Networking for Recent College Graduates

Networking is also a powerful tool for both professional growth and reducing anxiety. Doing this through events, alumni groups, or LinkedIn can also open doors and increase confidence while opening doors to job opportunities.

Develop Financial Literacy

Financial stress is common (especially with the looming burden of student loan debt), but learning to manage your money can help reduce anxiety. Start by:

• Creating a budget
• Tracking expenses
• Setting financial goals

Financial advisors or financial therapists can be an important post-college support system. They can give financial planning tips for new graduates and help to build good money habits early on.

Check out our other tips for dealing with financial stress out of college in this blog post.

Embracing Personal Growth and Adaptability

The post-college years are an excellent time to embrace continuous learning. Your education doesn’t have to end with your degree. Take advantage of continuing education after college through online courses, workshops, or certifications that can help you develop new skills and enhance your professional profile. Skill development for graduates not only improves your job prospects but also boosts your confidence, making it easier to navigate post-graduation challenges.

Working on Resilience and Adaptability

Life after graduation is rarely predictable, so it’s important to cultivate resilience and adaptability. Being open to change and learning from setbacks will help you overcome obstacles and adapt to new situations. Resilience allows you to bounce back from disappointments and keep moving forward. Try to reframe challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than as failures. This mindset shift can significantly improve your emotional well-being and reduce the impact of anxiety. Check out our blog post about coping skills for more ideas for dealing with this anxious time.

Balancing Professional and Personal Life after Graduating College

Establish Work-Life Balance

Achieving work-life balance is an ongoing challenge, especially in the early stages of your career. As a new graduate, you may feel compelled to work long hours to prove yourself or gain experience. However, neglecting your personal life and well-being can lead to burnout and increased stress. Set boundaries to ensure that you can maintain a healthy balance between work, social activities, and relaxation. Make time for hobbies, exercise, and spending time with loved ones. Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and physical health.

Prioritize Mental and Physical Health

Taking care of your mental and physical health is essential for overcoming post-graduation anxiety. Make sure to:

• Exercise regularly
• Get enough sleep
• Eat balanced meals
• Practice mindfulness or journaling

Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you’re struggling with anxiety or other mental health challenges. Therapy or counseling can provide valuable tools for coping with stress and transitioning into post-college life.

Conclusion

Life after graduation can feel overwhelming, but by recognizing the challenges, building resilience, and implementing strategies for personal and professional growth, you can navigate this post-college transition with confidence. Embrace uncertainty, continue learning, and lean on your support system.

Remember: You’re not alone, and your post-college journey doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By taking proactive steps, you can create a fulfilling and successful life after college.

The post Life After College: Overcoming Post-Graduation Anxiety appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Spring cleaning is typically a time of thoroughly cleaning our homes, ridding them of any items you do not want to take into the new season. This may look like reorganizing your closet, deep cleaning, or selling old items. Have you ever considered mentally spring cleaning? Mental spring cleaning is a beneficial way to get a fresh start on regaining control of your overall well-being. This is an opportunity for one to shift and reorganize your thoughts, emotions, and patterns that you find are no longer serving you, and there’s no better time than the springtime!

As you evolve, you may notice negative patterns or bad habits that you have carried with you throughout various seasons of your life and often struggle to figure out how to clear your head. Some of these habits may have positive effects, while others can leave a negative impact on your relationship with yourself and others. When looking to mentally spring clean, it comes with recognizing these habits and acknowledging the ways in which they have played a role in personal development.

Research shows that it can take anywhere between 18 to 254 days to break a habit. But don’t worry! Breaking a habit or reshaping behaviors requires a level of self-compassion, grace, and understanding that you aren’t on any specific timeline. Often times, we begin to compare ourselves and lose sight of our own journeys which can create barriers for us when attempting to break a negative habit. But, it’s not impossible. All you have to do is start!

As you enter the spring season, take some time to consider some habits or patterns that you want to throw away.

3 Habits to Let Go of This Season:

1. Holding on to Past Relationships

Many times, we hold on to relationships that no longer serve us, out of fear of starting over and the history of the relationship. This can be reflective of the difficulty of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for ourselves, and others, which can hinder our progression and growth. Consider ways in which you would like to reestablish healthy and meaningful relationships by setting expectations and boundaries, as well as reflecting on areas of self-improvement.

2. Being Self-Critical

Have you heard the saying “You’re your own worst critic”? There is no denying it. While being self-reflective and aware can be beneficial to your growth, being excessively critical of yourself can have a negative impact on your mental health. This can increase your chances of anxiety and depression, as well as alter your self-esteem.

Here is a useful resource to further explain the psychology behind self-criticism, and ways it impacts our overall mental health.

 Implementing positive daily affirmations to reframe negative self-talk can be a prominent way to improve your sense of self, and work toward more positive self-talk. This article shares why repeating affirmations is helpful in reprogramming our subconscious and shifting the perspective we may have on our stressors and worldviews.

3. Procrastination

When procrastinating, we tend to push off important tasks and become increasingly stressed due to the overwhelming load of the task. Sometimes, just the thought of a task feels so heavy that we find it difficult to even begin. This can lead to missed deadlines, increased workload, and intensified anxiety rooted in fear of failure. Some helpful tools to reduce the chances of procrastination include setting measurable goals for the day, using timers, eliminating distractions, and rewarding yourself. We all have unique methods that may be beneficial to us in order to achieve tasks and goals. Don’t give up when one method doesn’t work. Continue implementing new ideas until you find the one just for you.

How to Build Healthier Habits this Season

Journaling in the Fresh Air

• Write it out: Choose an outside space to journal and simultaneously soak in Vitamin D. This can boost serotonin levels, which boosts our mood. This can be useful as you release and navigate your thoughts and emotions on paper. Take a few minutes each day to write down what’s on your mind, and let it flow freely without judgment. This can clear mental space, as well as promote a longer attention span.

• Identify mental clutter: Think about the recurring thoughts, worries, or stresses that keep popping up. The more aware you become of these patterns of thoughts, the easier it can become to manage them. Write down these patterns and thoughts and reflect on where you have seen them show up in your interpersonal relationships. This can help you not only take more accountability for your behaviors but also take the front seat in establishing alternative behaviors and reframing negative thoughts.

Fight Against Procrastination

• Set Timers: Set a timer ranging from 5-15 minutes to allow yourself increments of time to complete tasks. This can reduce the chances of feeling overwhelmed and not being inclined to accomplish goals, which then results in less procrastination.

• Create a To Do List: Create a to do list in efforts to organize and prioritize your day-to-day responsibilities. This can be on your phone, or a tangible list that you place on your refrigerator, desk, or any area that is easily accessible. To-do lists are helpful ways to keep up with anything you need to get done, but also a way to decrease the pressure of accomplishing larger tasks, opposed to smaller and minimal ones.  

Declutter Your Social Media

• Limit Anxiety Inducing Content: Remove or unfollow social media platforms that create an algorithm of content that are likely to increase the chances of experiencing anxiety. This can be news outlets, gossip blogs, or content creators whose pages highlight current events and daily alerts regarding disparaging news.

• Fasting: Take a deliberate break from social media for a specific amount of time. To get the most out of fasting, find additional hobbies or activities that can productively fill the time typically dedicated to social media.

Improve Sleep Quality

• Establish Bedtime Routine: Giving yourself an intentional cutoff to begin your bedtime routine can increase discipline and consistency in improving your sleep quality. This routine can include a bubble bath, reading, journaling, or any activity that involves you settling your mind and body.

• Limit Doom Scrolling: Scrolling excessively on our telephones and limit the amount of quality sleep we are able to receive. By limiting the amount of time we spend scrolling before bed, we are training our brains to recognize that we are winding down, and this can also allow us to develop healthier bedtime routines.

Practicing Gratitude

• Create a Weekly Gratitude Ritual: End your week with a form of ritual that involves identifying at least three positive things that occurred during your week. These things can be both personal and career driven but are used to balance potential negative interactions that can distract us from being grateful.

• Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how big or small. This can aid in boosting your self-confidence as well as assist you in measuring your progress and staying present.

Spring is not the only season where mental decluttering can be useful. These tools can be used throughout the year as needed and become daily habits with consistency and persistence. Give yourself a moment to inhale and allow yourself to take the leap to forming better habits. While it can be challenging initially, soon you’ll see the positive impact that spring cleaning provides. Challenge yourself to one week of implementing at least one of the tips provided above. After you’ve done this, increase the number of tips you choose to implement. Eventually, you will find that slowly adding these tools to your regime will become more manageable and a consistent habit.

The post Spring Cleaning for Your Mental Health: 3 Habits to Let Go of This Season appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

The Need for Effective Stress Management

Stress affects every aspect of our lives, from our physical health to our relationships and daily routines. When left unchecked, stress can spiral into overwhelming feelings of anxiety, fatigue, and frustration. Understanding how stress affects daily life is the first step toward realizing the importance of stress management.

Why Managing Stress is Crucial for Your Health

When stress becomes chronic, it can have serious health consequences. High levels of stress are linked to a variety of physical ailments, such as heart disease, digestive issues, and weakened immunity. It can also lead to emotional problems, like anxiety and depression. By learning how to manage stress effectively, you can protect your long-term health and improve your quality of life.

Some of the immediate effects of unmanaged stress include headaches, tension, difficulty concentrating, and irritability. It can also lead to sleep disturbances, increased blood pressure, and even weight gain or loss. Therefore, stress relief is not just about feeling better in the moment—it’s about maintaining a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

Looking for more concrete resources for managing stress? Check out our stress management tools here.

Understanding Stress: What It Is and How It Impacts You

Before you can address your stress, it’s important to understand what is stress and how does it affect you. Stress is the body’s natural response to any demand or challenge, whether it’s external (e.g., work or family pressures) or internal (e.g., self-imposed expectations). While stress is a normal reaction, prolonged exposure to stress can cause serious emotional and physical health issues.

Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Stress

When you’re stressed, your body releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This “fight or flight” response can cause rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, tense muscles, and heightened alertness. While these symptoms are meant to help you face a threat, they can become problematic when they occur too frequently or for too long.

Common Causes of Stress

The common causes of stress vary from person to person but tend to stem from a few common sources:

• Work pressures: Deadlines, workload, and interpersonal conflicts at the workplace can be significant stressors.
• Financial worries: Concerns over money, job stability, or debt can create chronic stress.
• Relationship challenges: Family dynamics, romantic relationships, or issues with friends can be major sources of stress. Recognizing these daily stress factors is crucial to begin managing them more effectively. By identifying your stress triggers, you can take steps to reduce their impact on your life.

Find a therapist for stress management here.

Practical Daily Techniques to Reduce Stress

Learning to manage stress in your daily life doesn’t require drastic changes. Simple, practical techniques can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed. Below are a few daily stress management tips for busy people that can fit into almost any routine:

Quick Stress Relief Tips

1. Deep Breathing: In moments of stress, deep breathing exercises can calm your nervous system and provide instant relief. Try inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four. Repeat this several times.
2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and relaxing each muscle group in your body. It helps release physical tension and promotes a sense of calm.
3. Short Walks: A quick walk outdoors can refresh your mind, reduce tension, and provide a mental break.

Mindfulness for Stress

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, without judgment. It allows you to focus on the here and now, rather than worrying about the past or future. Practicing mindfulness can significantly reduce stress by shifting your attention away from anxiety-inducing thoughts.

Meditation for Stress Relief

Meditation is another powerful tool for stress management. It involves focusing your attention and eliminating the stream of thoughts that may crowd your mind. Studies have shown that meditation

can lower stress hormones, reduce anxiety, and improve emotional well-being. Whether it’s guided meditation or a simple practice of sitting in silence, taking a few minutes each day to meditate can help reset your mental state.

Lifestyle Changes for Long-Term Stress Management

While short-term solutions are important, lasting stress management requires sustainable lifestyle changes. Making adjustments to your daily habits and routines can help you better manage stress over time.

Setting Boundaries

One of the most effective ways to manage stress is by setting clear boundaries. Learn how to say no to requests that overburden you, and make time for activities that promote relaxation and self- care. Creating boundaries with work, family, and friends helps prevent burnout and allows you to focus on your own needs.

Balancing Professional and Personal Life

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is essential for stress reduction. Prioritize your personal time just as much as your work responsibilities. This means scheduling time for hobbies, relaxation, and quality moments with loved ones. Making space for these activities can prevent work from overtaking your personal life and reduce stress.

The Role of Nutrition, Exercise, and Sleep in Stress Management

Physical health plays a significant role in how well you handle stress. Eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are all crucial for stress reduction.

• Nutrition: Eating whole, nutrient-dense foods can help stabilize your mood and energy levels, preventing stress from becoming overwhelming.
• Exercise: Regular physical activity releases endorphins, which are the body’s natural mood lifters. Whether it’s yoga, jogging, or a dance class, movement is a powerful stress reliever.
• Sleep: Chronic stress often disrupts sleep, and lack of sleep, in turn, increases stress. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to give your body the rest it needs to recover.

Resources for Stress Management

If you find that managing stress on your own is difficult or overwhelming, there are numerous resources available to help. Seeking professional stress management support can provide you with additional tools and strategies for coping with stress in a healthy way.

Best Stress Management Apps for Everyday Use

There are several apps designed to help with stress relief. Some of the top-rated apps include:

• Calm: Offers guided meditation, breathing exercises, and sleep stories to help manage stress.
• Headspace: Focuses on mindfulness and meditation techniques for reducing stress.
• MyLife Meditation: Provides personalized meditation and relaxation exercises. These apps can be great tools to use throughout your day to reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

When to Seek Help for Stress

It’s important to recognize when stress becomes overwhelming. If you find that your stress is affecting your ability to function, impacting your relationships, or leading to physical symptoms (such as headaches, fatigue, or stomach problems), it may be time to seek professional help. Therapy can provide you with personalized tools for stress management and help address the root causes of your stress. In therapy, you’ll learn to explore stress management techniques, set healthy boundaries, and develop strategies for coping with the pressures of life.

Final Thoughts

Stress is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to control your health or happiness. By understanding what stress is, recognizing its impact on your body and mind, and implementing practical techniques for stress relief, you can regain control and foster a calmer, healthier lifestyle. Remember, effective stress management is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to seek support when needed. Whether it’s through meditation, lifestyle changes, or therapy, the tools are available to help you live a more balanced life.

The post The Ultimate Stress Management Guide: Proven Techniques for a Calmer, Healthier Life appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

What does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system? For a long time, I thought that my nervous system would be regulated whenever I stopped feeling hard emotions. I’ve learned through years of personal and professional work that my belief was wrong. Hard emotions don’t just stop happening.

Nervous system regulation doesn’t exist in the absence of emotions. To experience nervous system regulation means to experience adaptive responses to emotions. When I can feel my emotions, experience, and move through them, without feeling totally overwhelmed and out of control, I know that I am regulated.

Dr. Dan Siegel identified a concept called the window of tolerance. He identified that when individuals are existing within the “optimal zone,” we are able to effectively cope with emotions that arise. Within this window, we are regulated. Our window of tolerance is flexible. It may shrink when we’re experiencing trauma or emotional overload. It can also grow as we develop and use regulation skills and build emotional resilience. When we are operating outside of this window of tolerance, we may be on one of two sides – hyperarousal or hypo arousal.

Hyperarousal vs. Hypo Arousal

If we think of nervous system regulation as a spectrum, then hyperarousal and hypo arousal lie at opposite ends. Different emotions, behaviors, and thinking patterns can indicate which state we might find ourselves experiencing, which can help us better understand ourselves and our needs.

When you think of the word hyper, you may imagine a little kid with a lot of energy. That is also true for the nervous system. When in hyperarousal, the body has a lot of energy and wants to do something. This is why someone experiencing hyperarousal might unexpectedly hit something or snap at a friend.

Symptoms of Hyperarousal

• Emotions like worry, panic, or anger
• Hypervigilance
• Irritability
• Racing heart
• Feeling hot/sweating

Hypoarousal is just the opposite. Think about a cell phone that you’ve set to low power mode. To conserve energy, the phone limits certain functions. Hypo arousal functions very similarly, although it operates subconsciously. When in hypo arousal, the body is attempting to conserve energy for the tasks the body deems most important. This is why a person experiencing hypo arousal might find themselves staring at their phone for hours, unable to start a task.

Symptoms of Hypo Arousal

• Immobilized, feeling stuck
• Fatigue
• Brain fog
• Boredom, indifference, apathy
• Dissociation

Tips for How to Regulate: Nervous System

Nervous system dysregulation can be tough to deal with. Once we realize that we are experiencing hyperarousal or hypo arousal, what do we do to shift back towards regulation? I’m going to share two emotional regulation techniques to help – mindfulness and radical acceptance.

Mindfulness: A Key to Emotional Regulation

Noticing where we are emotionally at any given moment is half the battle – and it can be a hard one!  Mindfulness isn’t about fixing or stopping emotions. It’s about simply noticing; allowing ourselves to witness our emotions with curiosity and non-judgment.

Mindfulness has a rich history, stemming from Eastern religions and spiritual institutions, such as Buddhism. After Jon Kabat-Zinn brought mindfulness to Western society in the 1970s, its popularity has risen throughout the decades to follow. Meditation is one very common form of mindfulness, but it’s not for everyone. That’s okay! There are several other options for those interested in practicing mindfulness – mindful movement, mindful creativity, even mindful eating. The goal of mindfulness is to build self-awareness, which can happen in a variety of contexts.

Mindfulness isn’t necessarily about what we’re doing, it’s about how we’re doing it. When practicing mindfulness, I decide that I’m going to spend time present with myself, not judging whatever emotions, thoughts, and sensations might come up for me.

Radical Acceptance: The Power of Letting Go

One of the ways I practice non-judgment towards myself is by practicing radical acceptance. The term radical acceptance was coined by Marsha Linehan. She describes complete and total acceptance of our reality. If I can be honest here, I struggled with this concept for a long time. It changed for me when I realized that acceptance is not synonymous with like. I can accept that I may be feeling anger, jealousy, anxiety, or any other emotion. That doesn’t mean that I have to like it, and that doesn’t mean that I have to sit in it either.

Linehan said, “You only have to accept the moment you’re in, but you can try to change the next moment.” Radical acceptance does not mean staying stuck. Radical acceptance allows us to embrace our current reality so that we can make the best choices we can moving forward. Pain cannot be avoided, and rejecting or resisting that pain doesn’t help. From my personal experience, acceptance provides a sense of clarity that allows me to work towards a potential solution.

Radical acceptance is a key part of DBT and ACT. A therapist that specializes in ACT or DBT might be a good place to start.

Final Reminder + a Sprinkle of Self-Compassion

Think back to the hypo arousal example. This person is using their phone, unable to start a task. Mindfulness can allow this person to bring their attention to the present moment and their current experience. Being careful not to slip into self-judgment, the person can practice radical acceptance – “I accept that I feel stuck right now. What can I do to feel slightly less stuck in the next moment?” Even the most regulated individuals may slip into hyperarousal or hypo arousal occasionally – it’s all part of the human experience. Regulation is all about our responses and our ability to mindfully shift into adaptive coping strategies.

One of my personal core beliefs is that we are all trying our best at any given moment. And our best often looks different moment to moment and day to day. Sometimes, we have so much space, capacity, and time and on other days, we just don’t. I’ve recently started to slow down and remember that I do my best. It’s okay that my best today might not be as good as my best yesterday. And it’s okay if that’s true for you too. Growth isn’t a straight path.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Nervous System Regulation?

Nervous system regulation refers to the ability to respond to emotions in an adaptive way, rather than becoming overwhelmed by them. It’s all about being able to calm ourselves down when things are overwhelming.

What is the Difference Between Mindfulness and Meditation?

Mindfulness is a state of awareness and non-judgement, exploring one’s thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. To be mindful is to allow thoughts, emotions, and sensations to come up naturally, simply observing and noticing. Meditation is one form of mindfulness, and tends to be a more structured, formal process in which the meditator often focuses on something specific, such as an object, mantra, or the breath.

How Can I Practice Radical Acceptance in Everyday Life?

First, we must notice any resistance we are feeling. Sometimes emotions are not fun to feel, and we resist them. That’s a normal response! That resistance can act as a reminder, telling us to pause, notice, acknowledge, and accept what we are experiencing and feeling.

Let’s use an example. Many of us have found ourselves late to an appointment and stuck in traffic. Often, our response to this might look something like, “I can’t believe this! I’m already so late, I can’t deal with this.” To practice radical acceptance, we can first pause. Then, we can notice the emotions that are coming up, maybe anger, frustration, anxiety, boredom, etc. Once we notice it, we can acknowledge it by saying, “I accept that I’m stuck in traffic. I accept that I feel super frustrated about this situation.”

Okay, I’ve Practiced Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance – Now What?

These are great steps to take, but sometimes they may not feel like enough. Now that you’re feeling a bit more regulated, it’s a good time to focus on self-care. This article provides a great list of self-care activities you may find helpful.

The post Two Simple Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System for Better Mental Health appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

What Self-Care Is (and What it Isn’t)

Self-care is often mistaken for the occasional indulgence—a massage, a long bath, a big vacation, or a special treat. While those things can be nice, true self-care for therapists is about consistency. It’s about creating habits that support our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. This could mean setting clear work-life boundaries, engaging in activities that bring joy (like dance workouts or journaling), or simply being mindful of self-talk. Small, intentional acts make a big difference over time.

Listen to our interview with therapists about how they manage stress and burn-out:

How to Know if You’re Burned Out as a Therapist

Therapist burnout doesn’t happen overnight… it builds up over time from work stress for therapists. A little bit of stress is normal and can even be motivating. But if you’re noticing some of the following signs, it’s probably time to make some changes:

• Feeling emotionally drained after most sessions
• Increased irritability, cynicism, or feeling detached from clients
• Decreased empathy or feeling numb to clients’ experiences
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Questioning your effectiveness as a therapist (“Am I even helping anyone?”)
• Chronic fatigue, even after a full night’s sleep
• Frequent headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues
• Trouble sleeping (either too much or too little)
• Procrastinating on case notes, emails, or session prep
• Avoiding certain clients or feeling dread before sessions
• Increased self-isolation or withdrawing from colleagues
• Difficulty “turning off” work thoughts, even after hours
• Noticing a drop in job satisfaction (feeling stuck, unmotivated, or indifferent)
• Finding it hard to be present with clients or feeling “checked out” in sessions
• Thinking about leaving your job more often than usual

One of the most impactful books I have read in my career was “Trauma Stewardship” by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky. This book discusses the physical, mental, and emotional toll of working with trauma or in helping professions. It helped me to recognize my own “warning signs” and how to do this work well without sacrificing my own mental health.

Checking In With Yourself

Regular self-assessments can help prevent burnout from creeping up unnoticed. Tools like the Professional Quality of Life (ProQol) scale can offer insight into stress levels, compassion fatigue, and overall well-being. It’s easy to keep pushing forward without stopping to check in, but a little self-reflection can go a long way in maintaining a sustainable career. In our podcast episode, Shelby shares that this is an assessment she regularly gives to the clinicians at her clinic.

Let’s face it: It’s easy to get so caught up in taking care of others that we forget to check in with ourselves. If you’re feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, or just off, these questions can help you assess where you’re at and what might need to change. Feel free to just think on these questions, journal about them, or use them with your clinical teams:

• Am I practicing what I encourage my clients to do for self-care?
• Do I feel guilty when I take breaks or set boundaries?
• Am I dreading sessions, procrastinating, or zoning out more than usual?
• Do I feel like I can actually keep up with my workload?
• How often do I check emails or think about work after hours?
• Do I have a solid routine to decompress after work, or do I carry everything home with me?
• Do I still find meaning in this work, or does it just feel like a burden?
• Does my workplace support my well-being, or is it a major source of stress?
• Does my workplace align with my values, or do I feel disconnected from its mission?
• If a friend told me they were this stressed at work, what advice would I give them?

Effective Self-Care Strategies for Therapists (Tips from Our Therapists)

From small resets between sessions to after-work rituals that help create a clear boundary between work and personal life, these strategies can make a real difference in managing stress and preventing burnout. Let’s talk through some tips from our therapists.

The Power of After-Work Rituals

Having a clear transition from therapist mode to personal life can make a huge difference. Whether it’s listening to music on the drive home, taking a walk, or changing into comfy clothes, these rituals help signal to your brain that the workday is over. Without them, it’s easy to let the emotional weight of the job bleed into personal time, leaving little space for rest and recovery.

In the podcast interview, Taylor talks about having a moment on her way home where she stops thinking about work:

“I’ve learned something from other therapists—they find a specific place on their drive home where they mentally stop working. For me, when I lived in Lee’s Summit, there was a ‘Welcome to Lee’s Summit’ sign. It’s kind of weird, but every time I saw it, I started telling myself, Alright, no more work. That sign became my boundary. Just like in EMDR, where we talk about containers, I imagined leaving all the stress, frustrations—even the victories of the day—right there. That was my mental shift: I’m home now, it’s time to focus on my personal life.”

Practical self-care practices for mental health professionals during the work day

Self-care doesn’t have to wait until after work. Small moments throughout the day, like stretching between sessions, taking deep breaths, and stepping outside for a few minutes can help maintain energy and focus. Even something as simple as having a mindful moment between clients can reset your nervous system, keeping you present and engaged.

I know, it’s easy to resort to doomscrolling on your phone, but when was the last time you finished that and felt better? Here are some alternate ideas for workplace self-care strategies:

1. Deep breathing exercises – Try box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4).
2. Progressive muscle relaxation – Tense and relax different muscle groups to release tension.
3. Grounding techniques – Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method to refocus on the present moment.
4. Desk stretches – Stretch your neck, shoulders, and wrists to release tension.
5. Take a short walk – Even a quick lap around the office or outside can help reset your mind.
6. Watch a short funny video or share a joke with a coworker. (I am totally guilty of watching a Nate Bargatze stand up show in between sessions before when in need of a “palate cleanser”)
7. Organize your workspace – A clutter-free desk helps reduce mental clutter.
8. Prioritize tasks – Use the Eisenhower Matrix (urgent vs. important) to reduce overwhelm.
9. Take a nap—I’m convinced that at some point every therapist has taken a nap on their couch.

During the podcast episode, Taylor added:

“Sometimes we overcomplicate self-care. At its core, it’s about basic human needs—eating meals, sleeping, drinking water, moving your body. These things feel like givens, so we devalue them, but they’re essential. During my day, I make sure I have snacks, I drink water, and I pay attention to what I need between sessions. If I feel social, I chat with coworkers. If I need to decompress, I stretch or meditate.”

When Self-Care Means Quitting your Job

Not all burnout is personal—sometimes, it’s the environment.

Signs it’s time to leave your job as an act of self care.

 If a workplace demands endless emotional labor without proper support, no amount of self-care will be enough. In some cases, the best self-care decision may be to seek a setting that truly values and supports your well-being.

Work-Life Balance and Setting Boundaries for Therapists

When I was younger, work-life balance to me meant working long hours, hustling to make enough money for big trips and taking PTO whenever I could. It felt like self-care in those moments was a one-off event, something that was planned in big bursts, like a vacation or a weekend getaway.

Now, as a parent, work-life balance has taken on a whole new meaning. It’s about scheduling my time around my daughter’s soccer games or my son’s daycare breaks. It’s no longer about sprinting to make a big event happen but finding a rhythm that works day to day. It’s more like a marathon now,  sustaining a better pace so that I can show up for my family while still doing what I love professionally. Work-life balance and setting boundaries in my own therapy practice looks like:

• Having firm boundaries on when I’m done with work (not feeling pressured to work until 8pm at night or come in on my day off)
• Keeping work calls and emails to business hours, and not feeling like I need to answer on weekends or when I’m on PTO)
• Not giving my personal contact information out to clients
• Being intentional and choosy about the clients that I see (sticking to my niche)
• Having coworkers I know that I can reach out to for consultation or venting
• Having the flexibility to adjust my work hours or session times to better fit with my life.
• Feeling supported by my boss and my employer to do these things.

Leaning on Support Systems

We preach the importance of support to our clients, but let’s not forget that we need it just as much. Having a therapist, peer consultation group, or trusted colleagues to debrief with can make all the difference when experiencing work stress and burn-out. Processing our own stressors in a safe space allows us to return to our work with clarity, perspective, and renewed energy. This is one of the things I love about being a group supervisor—getting to create a supportive space where we can lean on one another.

Conclusion

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about feeling better—it directly impacts the quality of care you provide. By making self-care and work-life balance a priority, we model healthy habits for our clients and create a career that is sustainable, fulfilling, and grounded in well-being.

Bottomline: therapy is a part of what you do, but it is not your entire identity. Be sure to dedicate time to things that you enjoy and bring you more balance.

Ready to dive in deeper? Listen to the whole podcast here.

Podcast Transcript:

Miranda: Welcome to the Therapist Thrival Guide! My name is Miranda. I’m a licensed clinical social worker, and I’m here with Shelby and Taylor. Today, we are talking all about self-care.

This might be a topic where you’re thinking, I’ve already learned about self-care, but we have so much great information for you—so many tips, so many warning signs—all the things. We’re going to jump right in, but first, I want Shelby and Taylor to introduce themselves. Shelby, do you want to go first?

Shelby: Sure! My name is Shelby Finley. I’m a licensed professional counselor in Missouri and a licensed clinical professional counselor in Kansas. I’m the clinic director for the Kansas City locations for Ellie. We have three locations in this area.

Part of the reason I joined Ellie was to take better care of therapists. I’m really excited to talk about self-care because, as a company, I kept wondering how we can truly pour into therapists. From there, it became about encouraging therapists to take care of themselves, which is why I brought Taylor on—to talk more about what self-care looks like for a therapist.

Taylor: My name is Taylor Magruder. I’m a provisionally licensed professional counselor in Missouri, and I’m a therapist at the Kansas City Stateline location. I work with adults (18 and up) on issues like anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD—all those kinds of things.

Miranda: Awesome. This topic is so important, especially this time of year. We just went through a lot of election stress with clients, and now we’re moving into seasonal affective disorder season.

As helpers, we go through our own struggles, but we’re also expected to show up for clients. Sometimes, we neglect ourselves and try to continually pour from a cup that isn’t being refilled. I’m so excited to talk about this because even if you’re listening and thinking, Don’t worry, I take bubble baths when I’m stressed or I go for a run after a hard day—great! But there’s always room for improvement when it comes to self-care, not just for ourselves, but for our families, our clients, and our employees. It’s absolutely crucial.

So, where do you want to start, Taylor? Do you want to dive into how to recognize when you need self-care? What are the warning signs of burnout?

Taylor: First off, I think it’s so funny that you mentioned self-care isn’t just bubble baths. That was literally one of the first things I wrote down when I was thinking about this! What self-care is not.

Bubble baths and face masks can be part of physical self-care, but it’s not limited to that. For me, when I’m approaching burnout or not taking care of myself as well as I should, my texts and emails start to pile up. I become a little avoidant. My to-do list gets longer, and I start feeling overwhelmed and resentful—kind of a woe is me mentality.

At some point, I have to stop and ask myself, What role am I playing in this feeling? Where am I not setting boundaries? Because even though I become avoidant, I’m also lacking boundaries and not being mindful about what I can realistically take on.

Miranda: When you say lacking boundaries, what do you mean?

Taylor: A lot of it is about saying no—to social invitations if I don’t have the energy, to clients who want to schedule more often than I have availability, or to requests that stretch me too thin.

I was telling Shelby that my own therapist has a pretty limited schedule, and in the past, it’s been tempting to schedule my clients during that time instead of prioritizing my own sessions. Eventually, I had to realize, This isn’t sustainable. If I keep making space for others but not for myself, something is off.

Miranda: That’s such a good point. When we talk about boundaries as therapists, I often think about how we tend to overextend ourselves for clients. I was talking to a supervisee recently, and he mentioned giving out his personal phone number to clients.

I get that he cares deeply and wants to be there for them, but I also want to make sure he’s protecting his own boundaries. One of the fastest ways to burn out is getting texts from clients at 10 or 11 p.m. saying they’re in crisis. Of course, we want to show up for our clients, but we also need to acknowledge that if we’re constantly on call, we’re going to end up exhausted, resentful, and unable to be effective.

Shelby: Exactly. There are two big reasons why holding that boundary is important. First, you’re taking care of yourself. Second, as therapists, we’re not supposed to create dependency in our clients.

If a client can only turn to you at 10 or 11 p.m., that’s a sign they need to build a stronger support system. Who else can they turn to? What natural resources do they have? They need to start growing their network, because as much as we care, we can’t be that one person forever. And like you said, Miranda, even on days off, if you get a text from a client, it suddenly feels like work is infringing on your personal time.

For me, not giving clients my personal number is a hard boundary. Everyone’s boundaries look different, but if someone is comfortable with that, I hope they have other boundaries in place to protect their well-being.

Miranda: Absolutely. When I think back to the most burnt out, unhappy, and anxious I’ve ever been in my career, it was right after undergrad when I worked as a case manager. We didn’t have work cell phones—we used Google Voice numbers that went straight to our personal phones.

To this day, I still have a visceral response when Thanksgiving rolls around because I remember three Thanksgivings in a row where I got crisis calls on my Google Voice number, which rang directly to my personal phone.

When I left that job, I promised myself I would never blur that boundary again. I need to be off the clock and unreachable sometimes. That’s why crisis care exists. As outpatient therapists, we’re not crisis responders, and we shouldn’t be expected to be.

Shelby, I love the point you made about making sure clients have a broader support system so they’re not always relying solely on their therapist.

Have either of you read Trauma Stewardship?

Shelby: Yes! I love it.

Taylor: Oh my gosh, me too! The author came to Kansas City a few years ago, and I got to meet her—she even signed my book. I was so excited.

I was just talking to a client about this book recently. I have a few clients in grad school training to become therapists, and I was telling them how Trauma Stewardship was life-changing for me. It breaks down secondary trauma, compassion fatigue, and burnout in such a powerful way.

Miranda: There’s one chapter I always recommend—even if you don’t read the rest of the book. It lists warning signs that you’re not being an effective therapist anymore because of secondary traumatic stress, compassion fatigue, or burnout.

The first time I read that chapter, I felt so called out. I recognized the avoidance you mentioned, Taylor. I also saw that sense of grandiosity—the belief that I’m the only one who can help these clients. That’s never true.

One of the biggest warning signs for me was a loss of creativity. When I stop painting, writing, or being creative in my personal life, it’s a red flag that I’m getting overwhelmed professionally. That book really helped me recognize my own warning signs and take action before I hit burnout.

I think it’s crucial to know your own warning signs and communicate them—to your partner, to your colleagues. I tell my coworkers, If you notice I’m buried in emails or staying late past the time I said I’d stop seeing clients, call me out. Because usually, that means I’m blurring boundaries or not prioritizing myself.

What other warning signs have you both noticed in yourselves?

Shelby: So I think something that I have to own is that some of my warning signs are embarrassing and disheartening to acknowledge. The fact that I don’t want to do things I normally enjoy, that I’m not seeing my friends as often, or even as a leader, when someone comes to me with a problem and my response is just “okay”—that’s minimizing. And I’m not proud of that. That’s a warning sign for me. When I don’t have as much empathy as I’d like or as much to give, I know I need to start pouring into myself. Because at that point, it’s not just impacting me—it’s impacting my team members, their clients, and it creates a trickle effect.

As a leader, it’s important to pour into yourself and also model self-care. Recently, I took a self-care day and told my team, “Hey guys, I’ve had a lot going on, so I’m taking a self-care day. Here’s who you can contact if you need anything while I step back.” I was grateful when my team responded with support, saying they were glad I was taking time for myself. That feedback meant a lot. I want my team to know I’m taking a step back for my well-being because modeling that is important. We all have crummy warning signs sometimes, and we have to own them. If someone brings a problem to me and I respond with “okay,” that’s a sign I need to check myself.

Miranda: Oh my gosh, that’s such a good example. I can think of times when I’ve done the same thing with my spouse. He comes home and says, “I had a bad day at work,” and I’m like, “Bet you didn’t have to make a CPS report today.” I’m so guilty of that.

Shelby: Same! When I worked in crisis, someone would say, “My boyfriend broke up with me,” and I’d think, “Yeah, but you’re not hospitalized, so keep going, sis.” That’s such a crummy response.

Miranda: Minimizing is a real warning sign that if you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t have empathy for others. We need to be able to sit with someone struggling with a breakup and validate their pain just as much as we do for those in more immediate crisis.

Taylor: So what do you two do for self-care?

Taylor: Self-care is preventative, constant, and non-optional. It’s not just something to do when you’re burned out—it’s something to do all the time. For me, I have a ritual when I get home from work. I don’t do these things because I need them that day; I do them because I need them consistently. When I get home, I stretch for five to ten minutes. If I have more time, I’ll do a dance workout because I genuinely enjoy it. I danced growing up, and I realized I wasn’t feeling motivated by traditional workouts. But with dance workouts, I focus on the choreography, and it’s fun. At the least, I move my body in some way because we sit all day, and I need to reconnect with myself.

Miranda: Where do you find these dance workouts? Because I love this idea. Dancing is so good for mental health.

Taylor: I use Apple Fitness Plus. They have choreographed dance workouts, which I love because I get really into perfecting the moves. If I’m short on time, I’ll just put on my favorite pop songs, grab the TV remote, and dance around my living room.

Miranda: Full-on Lizzie McGuire moment.

Taylor: Exactly! My dog hates it, but I have fun.

Shelby: He’s getting a free concert—what’s his problem?

Taylor: Right?! I sing to him, and he just looks at me with his ears down.

Shelby: My after-work ritual is working out. If I sit on my couch, I’m not getting up again. So I take my dog for a walk as soon as I get home, then I change into gym clothes. If I put the effort into dressing for the gym, I’ll actually go. Another thing I do is check in with myself: Do I need people today, or do I need alone time? Some days, I’m all about socializing; other days, I just need quiet. I’ve even started doing diamond painting as a solo activity—it’s been fun making little gifts for my nieces and nephews.

Miranda: I get that. I’m an outgoing introvert. I like being around people, but I also need alone time to recharge. When I worked in child protection, I had a long drive home, and I didn’t realize how much that decompression time helped me until COVID hit. Suddenly, I was home all the time, surrounded by people, and I struggled. That’s actually why I got a dog—having a reason to take walks really helped. Even now, if I have a stressful day, I make sure to take a quick walk around the block. Just getting fresh air and sunlight can make a huge difference.

Shelby: That’s such a good point. We’ve talked a lot about self-care after work, but what about during the workday? Taylor, how do you handle those seven-session days?

Taylor: Sometimes we overcomplicate self-care. At its core, it’s about basic human needs—eating meals, sleeping, drinking water, moving your body. These things feel like givens, so we devalue them, but they’re essential. During my day, I make sure I have snacks, I drink water, and I pay attention to what I need between sessions. If I feel social, I chat with coworkers. If I need to decompress, I stretch or meditate. My physical therapist gave me shoulder exercises, and I make sure to do them because I carry so much tension there.

Shelby: Finding those little “work perks” is key. One of ours is having comfy couches in our offices. I went to a self-care CEU event recently, and they normalized things like turning off the lights and resting between sessions. At my first therapy job, I was scared to do that, but my supervisor told me, “You have 20 minutes before your next session—use it to reset.” That advice stuck with me, and now I encourage my team to do the same. If taking a quick break helps you show up fully for your next client, it’s worth it.

Miranda: Exactly. Self-care isn’t just about time off—it’s about what we do daily to sustain ourselves.

Taylor: So I’ve been like, okay, let’s turn this into something productive. Now when I get to this one stoplight, where I have service again, I can listen to music or call someone. I take those first few minutes to just decompress.

Miranda: Shelby, you made me think of a couple of different things, but that decompression time—yes, it’s so crucial. For me, in that job I was in, it was necessary. But also, let’s normalize not staying in jobs that require so much more self-care. Yes, we should be taking care of ourselves, but before I came to LA, I had so many jobs that took so much out of me.

And I think for those jobs, a long drive was really helpful because I needed that separation way more than I do now. Yes, self-care is crucial for any helping profession, but no amount of self-care is going to make a toxic job not suck. If you’re in a work environment where you’re not appreciated, underpaid, or just completely drained, self-care alone won’t fix that.

Also, let’s call out that changing jobs can be an act of self-care. You are a highly skilled, highly educated professional, and you deserve a job that prioritizes your mental health too. That’s crucial.

This is going to sound backwards, but I don’t need as much self-care as I used to in those really bad jobs—because being in a job that I love is also a form of self-care. That’s just super important, and it does exist for people.

Shelby: I think you bring up a good point. With clients, we give them all these coping skills, and they tell us they’re using them—but they’re still struggling. At some point, we have to ask: Okay, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s the relationship. Maybe it’s the job. Maybe it’s the city.

I remember my first job in community mental health. It was a 40-hour-a-week job, seeing clients back to back. And if you weren’t with a client, you were expected to jump into a group to hit your productivity. It was just constant. I was exhausted. It was the first job I had when I moved to Kansas City, and I wasn’t making any friends because I was so drained all weekend.

I realized, This is not sustainable. I didn’t know anyone in the city. I was lonely, but I didn’t have the energy to meet people. Eventually, I moved into a leadership role that gave me more capacity to pour into myself, but that initial experience really showed me the importance of environment.

Miranda: I think you’re right. At some point, you have to ask yourself: Is it that I’m not taking care of myself, or is my environment just not set up for me to thrive? And if it’s the latter, what needs to change?

So, Shelby, you mentioned the ProQOL—did I say that right?

Shelby: Yeah, that’s how I say it.

Miranda: Could you give a little background? You started talking about how this is a tool you use with the therapists who work for you. Can you tell me more about the ProQOL and how you actually use it?

Shelby: Yeah! So, it’s the Professional Quality of Life survey, and it measures three things: burnout, compassion fatigue, and secondary trauma.

I think it’s great—it’s somewhere between 20 and 40 questions. People can take it online quickly or print it out, score themselves, and see where they’re at in those three areas.

Something we’ve all been saying, but maybe not explicitly calling out, is that we have to keep assessing ourselves. Just like our clients need to check in on their mental health, we, as therapists, have to do it even more. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, it trickles down.

This survey is a great way for me, as a leader, to encourage my team to check in. I send it out once a quarter via email, with both a printable version and a link to take it online. I don’t ask them to share their scores, but I let them know: If you want to talk, I’m here.

Therapists often prioritize everyone else over themselves, and I see it as my responsibility to make sure they’re checking in on themselves. Honestly, I can’t even remember where I first learned about the ProQOL, but it’s stuck with me as a leader.

Some therapists have even shared with me, Hey, since coming to LA, my compassion fatigue score has dropped five points. That’s when I know the change in environment was what they really needed.

Miranda: We’ll share a link to the ProQOL in the description. I think everyone listening should take it—just as a self-inventory to check in with yourself.

Maybe you’re recognizing some warning signs in yourself. Maybe you’re realizing you’re more burned out than you thought. Having an assessment like this can be so valuable.

Are there any other tools you all use to encourage therapists to take care of themselves? Or things you’re doing for your clients—or even yourself?

Taylor: There’s this app that one of my clients told me about called How We Feel. The whole purpose is to track your emotions, practice identifying them, and become more aware of them overall.

You can set it to send reminders however often you want. I have mine set for twice a day—just a little check-in. It asks, How are you feeling? Then it gives you a list of emotions, complete with definitions, which I love.

I think we often overgeneralize—I feel stressed. I feel overwhelmed. But why do you feel that way? Breaking it down into more specific emotions helps you understand what you actually need.

The app also provides coping skills and emotion education videos, and it’s completely free—no subscription or anything.

A lot of my clients love data, so they like that the app has an analysis section where it tracks trends. You can journal a little when you check in, noting who you’re with, where you are, and what you’re doing. It even connects to a Fitbit or a cycle-tracking app.

Over time, it shows patterns—like, Why am I marking myself as anxious every morning? What’s going on then? That insight can be really helpful. Honestly, almost all of my clients who’ve tried it have loved it.

Miranda: That’s really cool. I’ll include a link to that as well. Anytime we find resources that work for clients, that’s great—but when they help us gain more insight into ourselves, that’s even better.

Any last thoughts before we wrap up?

Shelby: The biggest rule—it can’t be said enough—is that every good therapist should have a therapist.

It’s like personal training. You might know how to work out, but a personal trainer keeps you accountable. I always have a gym buddy—if I don’t, I’ll make excuses. But if someone’s waiting for me? I’ll show up.

It’s the same with therapy. Even if you’re just checking in biweekly or monthly, having someone to hold you accountable for your self-care is invaluable. I’ve had clients come in just for that—a check-in buddy to say, Hey, are you actually taking care of yourself?

What we do is really hard. It’s also really unique. I think about some of my days and realize, No one else had that kind of conversation at work today—but I had it twice.

We do such a challenging job. We pour into others all day long, so we have to double down on how we pour into ourselves.

Miranda: Thank you so much for joining. This has been such a great episode—I’ve gotten so many good ideas, and it’s been a great reminder of how I can better check in with my supervisees.

Thank you both for being here, and thanks to everyone for listening!

Shelby: Thanks for the invite—we appreciate it!

The post Self-Care for Therapists: Proven Strategies to Manage Work Stress and Prevent Burnout appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Burnout: When Your Brain Waves a White Flag

Burnout is what happens when stress overstays its welcome. It’s that state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that makes you wonder if you should quit your job and go work at an ice cream shop instead (when I was dealing with burn-out, that was my fantasy).

Signs You Might Be Burnt Out:

• You’re always tired, no matter how much sleep you get
• You find yourself thinking, Does anything I do even matter?
• Your patience is wearing very thin (with clients, colleagues, loved ones, or even strangers on the road)
• You’re mentally checking out, even in sessions you used to enjoy
• The idea of answering another email makes you want to cry (so you avoid avoid avoid)

How to Fight Burnout:

Set Boundaries Like Your Sanity Depends on It (Because It Does)

Work ends at a certain time? Stick to it. Clients emailing you at midnight? They can wait.

Find Joy Outside of Work

What did you like to do before you became a therapist? Do more of that. How would you spend your time if you didn’t have to work anymore? Try to incorporate more of those things.

Talk It Out

Supervision, therapy, or venting to a trusted colleague can help you process what’s draining you.

Reassess Workload & Expectations

If you’re drowning, it’s okay to ask for a life raft. Ask your boss to help you prioritize, let them know you’re struggling, and see if some of your tasks can be delegated.

Compassion Fatigue: When Caring Feels Like Too Much

Compassion fatigue is like empathy burnout. You still care, but you’re so emotionally drained that caring feels like an Olympic sport you didn’t sign up for.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Compassion Fatigue:

• You feel emotionally drained after listening to clients’ struggles
• You’re running on autopilot and feeling disconnected from your work
• Your ability to empathize is… well, not what it used to be
• You feel more irritable, cynical, or just over it
• You need extra time to emotionally recover from tough cases

How to Combat Compassion Fatigue (Without Becoming a Robot):

1. Check In With Yourself: How are you doing? No, really. When’s the last time you actually asked yourself that? If you need some extra help, take the ProQOL assessment.
2. Make Space for Reflection: Whether it’s journaling, mindfulness, or talking it out with a friend, process your emotions instead of bottling them up.
3. Balance Your Caseload: If possible, mix in less emotionally intense cases with the heavy ones. It’s tough to do back to back to back trauma processing cases some days.
4. Surround Yourself with Support: Find your therapist friends, commiserate, and remind each other that you’re doing great (even when it doesn’t feel like it). If you’re in this alone, consider joining a Facebook community—or better yet, join an Ellie Mental Health group practice.

Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS): When Clients’ Trauma Feels Like Your Own

STS happens when you’re exposed to clients’ trauma so much that your brain starts treating it like your trauma. It’s like emotional secondhand smoke— still harmful, even if you’re not the one directly experiencing it.

One of our Ellie therapists just joined our podcast recently to discuss her experience with secondary traumatic stress, how it was different than burnout and compassion fatigue, and how she was finally able to move forward and heal. Listen here:

Signs You Might Be Experiencing STS:

• You’re having intrusive thoughts or distressing dreams about clients’ experiences
• You feel emotionally numb or disconnected from reality
• You avoid certain cases, conversations, or topics because they feel too triggering
• You’re hypervigilant, anxious, or having trouble sleeping
• Your body is reacting—headaches, muscle tension, nausea—all the fun stuff

How to Manage STS (Without Quitting Therapy Forever):

1. Set Emotional Boundaries: You can care without carrying every client’s trauma like it’s your own personal baggage.
2. Supervision is Your Friend: Regularly talk through tough cases with someone who gets it.
3. Educate Yourself on Trauma Responses: Understanding your own reactions can help you navigate them better. One of the most helpful, influential books I’ve read on this topic was Trauma Stewardship—highly recommend!

Taking Care of Yourself Isn’t Optional

Therapists are human first. This job is a part of us, but it is not our full identity. Burnout, compassion fatigue, and STS are real, but they’re also manageable when we prioritize ourselves the way we prioritize our clients. Set boundaries, take breaks, and remind yourself that taking care of you is what allows you to take care of others. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Listen to our full episode about self care as therapists here:

The post Burnout, Secondary Traumatic Stress, and Compassion Fatigue in Helping Professions appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

What Self-Care Is (and What It Isn’t)

Self-care is often mistaken for a luxury, like bubble baths, vacations, or treating yourself to something fancy. While those things can be nice, real self-care is about consistency. It’s about building habits that support your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. That might mean setting clear boundaries between work and personal life, doing something you actually enjoy (not just scrolling on your phone), or paying attention to how you talk to yourself. Small, intentional choices make a big difference over time.

Signs of Stress and Burnout

Burnout doesn’t hit all at once– it sneaks up gradually. A little stress is normal and can even be motivating, but if you’re noticing any of these signs, it’s time to reassess:

• Feeling emotionally drained or exhausted after work
• Increased irritability, cynicism, or detachment
• Trouble concentrating or making decisions
• Chronic fatigue, even after a full night’s sleep
• Frequent headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues
• Trouble sleeping (either too much or too little)
• Procrastinating on emails, meetings, or work tasks
• Avoiding certain coworkers or dreading work altogether
• Struggling to disconnect from work thoughts after hours
• Feeling stuck, unmotivated, or questioning your career

One of the most eye-opening books on burnout is Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky. While it’s geared toward helping professionals, the insights apply to anyone dealing with stress-heavy jobs. It helped me recognize my own warning signs and adjust before burnout took over.

Checking In With Yourself

It’s easy to keep pushing forward without stopping to check in, but a little self-reflection can go a long way in preventing burnout. If you’re feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, or just off, these questions can help you figure out what needs to change:

• Am I practicing any of the self-care habits I tell others are important?
• Do I feel guilty when I take breaks or set boundaries?
• Am I dreading work, procrastinating, or zoning out more than usual?
• Do I actually have a manageable workload, or am I just pretending I do?
• How often do I check emails or think about work after hours?
• Do I have a solid way to decompress after work, or do I carry everything home with me?
• Do I still find meaning in my job, or does it just feel like a burden?
• Is my workplace supporting my well-being, or is it the main source of my stress?
• If a friend told me they were this stressed at work, what advice would I give them?

Listen to our interview with therapists about how they manage stress and burn-out:

Small Changes That Make a Big Difference

Managing work stress doesn’t require a complete life overhaul– small changes throughout the day can make a real impact. Here are some simple strategies:

Creating an After-Work Transition

Having a clear shift from work mode to personal time makes a huge difference. Whether it’s listening to music on the drive home, taking a walk, or changing into comfy clothes, these rituals signal to your brain that the workday is over. Without them, stress lingers, and it’s harder to unwind.

A therapist I know shared in a recent podcast episode that she mentally “clocked out” when she passed a specific road sign on her way home. It sounds small, but that act of intentionally leaving work stress behind made a difference. Find your version of that.

Self-Care at Work (Yes, It’s Possible)

Self-care isn’t just for after hours. Small moments during the workday—stretching, stepping outside, taking deep breaths—help maintain energy and focus. Instead of doomscrolling between tasks, try one of these:

• Deep breathing (box breathing: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4)
• Progressive muscle relaxation (tense and release different muscle groups)
• Grounding techniques (use the 5-4-3-2-1 method to refocus on the present)
• Desk stretches (loosen up your neck, shoulders, and wrists)
• A short walk (even a quick lap around the office helps)
• Watching a funny video or sharing a joke with a coworker (I am totally guilty of watching a Nate Bargatze stand up show in between sessions before when in need of a “palate cleanser”)
• Organizing your workspace (a clutter-free desk always reduces mental clutter for me)
• Prioritizing tasks (use the Eisenhower Matrix to cut down on overwhelm)
• Taking a nap (if your job allows it, a quick power nap can work wonders)

During the podcast episode, Taylor added: “Sometimes we overcomplicate self-care. At its core, it’s about basic human needs—eating meals, sleeping, drinking water, moving your body. These things feel like givens, so we devalue them, but they’re essential. During my day, I make sure I have snacks, I drink water, and I pay attention to what I need between sessions. If I feel social, I chat with coworkers. If I need to decompress, I stretch or meditate.”

When Self-Care Means Finding a New Job

Not all burnout is personal—sometimes, it’s the work environment. If your job constantly demands more than you can give, lacks support, or makes you dread every Monday, no amount of deep breathing will fix that. In some cases, the best self-care decision is finding a workplace that actually values and supports your well-being.

Rethinking Work-Life Balance

When I was younger, I thought work-life balance meant hustling hard and then taking big vacations as a reward. Now, as a parent, it looks completely different. It’s not about sprinting until I can take time off, it’s about maintaining a sustainable rhythm every day so I can be present for my family and still do work I love.

For me, that means:

• Having firm work hours and actually sticking to them
• Not answering work emails on weekends or when I’m off
• Being intentional about the projects I take on
• Having coworkers I can lean on when needed
• Making sure my schedule works for my life, not the other way around
• Feeling supported by my employer instead of drained by them

Leaning on Support Systems

We all need people to lean on, whether it’s coworkers, friends, or a mentor. Having a trusted support system to talk things through helps keep stress from piling up. If you’re struggling, don’t tough it out alone.

Not sure who to turn to? A therapist can be the professional support you need when feeling stressed. Find a therapist that specializes in stress management here.

Work, Stress, and What Comes Next

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about feeling better…. it directly impacts how you show up at work and in life. By making self-care a priority, you can build a career that’s fulfilling, sustainable, and doesn’t leave you completely drained at the end of every day.

Bottom line: Your job is part of your life, but it shouldn’t consume your entire identity. Make space for the things that bring you joy and balance.

The post Work Stress & Self-Care: Practical Strategies for a Healthier Work Life appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

If you’re dreading this year’s holiday gatherings or looking for ways to better navigate the complex web of family relationships, here are some key takeaways and actionable steps to make for a more joyous and peaceful season.

Understanding Expectations and Setting Boundaries

Listen– It’s all about managing expectations and setting appropriate boundaries. Whether it’s the high pressure to have the perfect holiday or family expectations that don’t align with your reality, setting boundaries can be crucial.

Identify and Communicate Expectations

Start by understanding both your external and internal expectations. Evaluate what expectations are realistic and ones that might need to be adjusted or thrown to the wayside. Communicate with family members to preempt confusion and stress (i.e. “We’ll be coming into town on Friday morning, but we need to leave by Sunday at 4pm” or “I’m really hoping that we can decorate cookies when we’re together”).

Set Realistic Boundaries

It’s important to establish what you are comfortable with this holiday season. Whether it’s deciding to stay at a hotel instead of with family or limiting the length of stay, understand your limits and communicate them thoughtfully. (i.e. “We are looking forward to seeing everyone, but I’d rather not talk about [insert stressor] while we’re in town.”).

Be Comfortable with Discomfort

Recognize that some level of discomfort may be unavoidable. Embrace it as part of the process and focus on maintaining your peace and happiness. Have some go-to responses if you notice they’re crossing the line (i.e. “I thought we agreed not to talk about that this week” or “I’d rather not get into that today”).

Holidays can be stressful! We’re here to help you navigate the madness. Find an Ellie location near you and get matched with a therapist today.

5 Practical Tips for the Holidays from Therapists

• Talk with your partner and family about what traditions hold meaning for you and which ones you wish to carry forward or ones that you should perhaps let go.
• Allow for new traditions to emerge, which may mean breaking away from old ones. This flexibility can ease stress and foster a more enjoyable experience.
• Prioritize your holiday time with those that lift you up and decrease your stress.
• Focus on the current holiday season without worrying too much about future gatherings. Try to be present.
• Incorporate activities that ground you, such as daily walks or quiet coffee breaks, to manage stress levels… And maybe make a preemptive therapy appointment for when you get back.
• If you’re dealing with grief or loss around this holiday season, take it extra easy this year. Consider ways to involve your loved one’s memory into celebrations or traditions.

Effective Communication with In-Laws and Extended Family

In-laws and extended family can often add another layer of complexity to holiday gatherings.

Open the Dialogue

Encourage open communication and address any underlying tensions. This could involve having direct conversations that may feel risky but are necessary for long-term peace.

Involve Your Partner in Communication

When interacting with your partner’s family, ensure that your partner is an active participant in any challenging conversations to prevent miscommunication and foster united decision-making. In fact, we often recommend that you are primary communicator with your family and your partner is the primary communicator for their family.

Maintain a Sense of Humor

Find humor in the chaos and the absurdity of the holidays. Lightheartedness can be a powerful tool in defusing tension.

Final Thoughts

The holidays can be a wonderful yet challenging time. By taking these tips, reflecting on your own holiday experiences, and setting clear expectations and boundaries, you can transform stress into joy and create meaningful connections with your family. Remember, the goal isn’t to have a perfect, Hallmark-Christmas-movie of a holiday… it’s to have a holiday season that reflects your desires and values.

Holidays can be stressful! We’re here to help you navigate the madness. Find an Ellie location near you and get matched with a therapist today.

The post Make This Holiday Season Stress-Free: Tips From Our Therapists appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Tired of feeling beyond tired? We get it – burnout sucks! Get matched with a therapist near you today!

10 Warning Signs of Burnout

1. You Can’t Get Out of Bed in the Morning 

Everyone has those mornings where they can’t stop hitting the snooze button. However, feeling fatigued from the moment you wake up is a major warning sign of burnout. 

2. You Can’t Sleep at Night 

On the flip side, burnout can cause insomnia. You might find yourself playing through the endless list of tasks that need to get done instead of sleeping. 

Sleep and mental health are closely linked. Burnout makes it hard for the mind to rest, even when it’s time to be sleeping. This easily turns into a cycle that not only disrupts rest, but also amplifies feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, creating a loop that’s difficult to break without addressing the root causes. Difficulty falling asleep, inability to stay asleep, nightmares, and ruminating worry about work are all symptoms and could be pointing to burnout. 

3. You Feel Irritable All the Time  

Burnout can leave you restless, heated, and constantly on the verge of exploding. This irritability will likely follow you from work to home, which can have a negative effect on your relationships. 

Irritability and burnout can lead to cynicism because they often create a sense of emotional depletion, frustration, and disillusionment. Cynicism is just a self-protective response, where you might begin to distance yourself emotionally to avoid further disappointment or stress. 

4. You Can’t Focus or Stay Productive 

No matter how hard you try, you just can’t stay focused. A task that would normally take you 30 minutes can stretch to hours because you can’t find the motivation to begin or quickly get off task. Or maybe work keeps falling through the cracks. Missing a deadline or two might not be a big deal. But if you’re consistently struggling to get your work done and can’t seem to make any of your deadlines, burnout might be to blame. 

5. You Hate Your Job (Even If You Loved It) 

If you dread going to work each day, that’s a major red flag that you’re feeling burned out. On one hand, it’s possible that you work in a toxic environment and that your energy is best spent elsewhere. However, you can get burnout working at a place you love. Even if you have the best coworkers and landed your dream job, burnout can make every workday feel like a challenge. 

6. You Feel Like a Failure

Burnout and shame are close friends. If you feel unsuccessful and underappreciated at work, that can lead you to feeling burned out in the first place. You might feel ashamed that you can’t just “get it together” and do your work.  

Over time, your struggle or this perception of failure can snowball, and as tasks pile up, you might start to feel like you’re falling behind, and that feeling of struggling to meet expectations only fuels the cycle of burnout. The cycle leads to decreased motivation and increasing feelings of shame.

7. You Avoid People

Avoiding toxic friendships is one thing, but burnout is different and can lead to self-isolation. You might feel too overwhelmed to socialize with your coworkers during the day and you might even feel too exhausted to spend time with your friends or family outside of work. 

This can be especially true if you’re in a type of job that demands interaction with people for the majority of time you’re working. When you’re feeling this way, you might start to notice symptoms of dissociation, emotional detachment, or depression.

8. You Can’t Get the Creative Juices Flowing  

Feeling like you’re in a permanent state of writer’s block? Burnout can make you feel like all your creative juices have suddenly gone dry, and not even the normal walk around the block or cup of tea can get you back in the groove. 

9. You Keep Getting Headaches or Muscle Pain 

Burnout can take a toll on your physical health, making you more susceptible to sickness. It’s also common for stress to cause chronic headaches or muscle pain. 

The body’s response to prolonged stress involves the release of hormones like cortisol, which, in turn, can disrupt the normal functioning of the digestive system and lead to issues like IBS, nauseousness, stomach ulcers, constipation, or acid reflux. It’s fascinating how our body is all connected: even mental issues can lead to physical problems.

10. Your Appetite Is Low 

Are you skipping breakfast most days or notice that you just don’t feel hungry when lunch comes around? Burnout can cause your appetite to take a dip and you might even start to unintentionally lose weight. 

How Common is Burnout?

Burnout is incredibly common, and the COVID-19 pandemic definitely didn’t help the issue. In SHRM’s 2024 Employee Mental Health Research Series, 44% of survey respondents claimed they experienced burnout in the previous year. And from the different age groups surveyed, millennials topped the charts every time in feeling the most burned out.  

Common Causes of Burnout

• Too much work
• Too many work hours
• Lack of work-life balance
• Lack of control
• Lack of reward
• Unfair treatment or expectations
• Toxic work environment

While burnout is not a medical condition, it can be closely linked to mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or stress. It’s been recognized as an “occupational phenomenon” by the World Health Organization (WHO) and is described as being caused by “chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.”

The Link Between Stress and Burnout

While workplace stress is one of the most common causes of burnout, it’s not the only cause. If every day feels stressful, it’s likely that a bad case of burnout is around the corner – whether you’re a working professional, college student, a stay-at-home parent, or you’re stressed by the politics of the day. 

If stress is feeling overwhelmed and having too much energy or emotion, then burnout is the opposite. It’s feeling unmotivated, detached, and empty. The transition from stress to burnout doesn’t happen overnight. You might not realize that you’ve crossed that threshold until you’re deep in it.

How Long Does It Take to Recover from Burnout?

The personal recovery time from burnout can vary significantly depending on the severity of the burnout. If you’re experiencing mild burnout, just a few key changes in your role might help mitigate the symptoms quickly. 

For those experiencing moderate burnout, it might take weeks or months of changes and utilizing coping skills before you’re noticing yourself go back to normal. 

When it comes to more severe cases of burnout, consider this your sign to make some big changes and perhaps even seek professional help in order to find recovery. Of course, there are a variety of factors involved that may affect the level of changes or time necessary to recover from burnout:

Duration of Stressful Work Conditions

How long someone has been dealing with stress at work plays a big role in how long it will take to recover from burnout. The longer you’re exposed to stress and in a state of hyperarousal (fight or flight mode), the more it wears on both your body and mind, making the burnout symptoms stronger and the recovery process take longer. Recognizing and addressing the source of the stress early on can significantly shorten the recovery period and help prevent burnout from becoming a long-term issue.

Degree of Trauma Experienced

If you’ve been through a lot of traumatic experiences, whether at work or in personal life, that kind of emotional and psychological weight can make burnout much harder to bounce back from. The more intense or frequent the trauma, the deeper it can affect your mental health and overall well-being. It doesn’t just drain your energy,  but it can create lasting feelings of fear, helplessness, or disillusionment. Extra support like therapy or trauma-informed care might be necessary to help you heal.

Level of Support

If you have a strong support system, whether it’s friends, family, coworkers, or a therapist, you’ll likely heal faster because you have people to lean on, talk to, and help you through the tough times. Having someone to listen or offer practical help can take some of the pressure off and remind you that you’re not alone in this. On the other hand, if you’re dealing with burnout in isolation, without much support, it can take much longer to recover.

Level of Resilience and Grit

If you’re someone who tends to bounce back quickly from challenges and can push through tough situations, you might find that your recovery takes less time. Resilience helps you adapt and find ways to cope with stress, so even though burnout might hit hard, you’re able to muster the strength to start healing sooner. If you’re someone who struggles with bouncing back or feels defeated by setbacks, it might take longer to recover.

How To Recover From Burnout for Good 

Recovering from burnout and preventing it from coming back involves more than taking an impromptu vacation or adding a self-care routine to your checklist. While a stressful work environment is a major part of what causes burnout, your attitudes about work, your perceptions about yourself, and the way you relate with others all play roles. 

The good news is that you can fight chronic stress at work and in other aspects of your life. By finding balance and learning a few essential skills, you can find satisfaction and peace. You can finally feel like you have the energy and capacity to not only get through the workday but to also spend quality time with your loved ones and pursue things you enjoy. 

Here are a few key ways to establish a healthy relationship with your work and recover from a bad case of burnout: 

Talk it out

Feeling burned out can be a scary feeling. If burnout is affecting your work performance, you might even fear that you’ll lose your job. Some people have a tendency to internalize their stress, but staying silent can make you feel alone and helpless. Venting to someone you trust and admitting out loud that you can’t do it all can feel like a huge weight off your shoulders. 

Identify the Root Cause

While stress is what leads to burnout, you need to identify what is causing your dissatisfaction and stress at work. Are you taking on more than you can handle? Are you balancing work with a tumultuous relationship or mental health issue? Do you feel unrecognized for your achievements or feel isolated from your coworkers? Take time to self-reflect and pin down what factors might be triggering burnout. 

Set Firm Boundaries

Your time is precious, and you need to divvy it up smartly. If you say yes to everything that people ask you to do, you’ll either fail in doing everything you promised or end up burned out at the end of it all. It’s okay to say no and be picky about what you add to your schedule, and setting personal and professional boundaries can help you in your recovery.

Check-in on Yourself Often

If you’re always on the go, you might get so lost in day-to-day activities that you don’t realize you are burned out until it hits you in full force. Make a point to self-evaluate your mental health and look for the warning signs that you need to reset. 

Rediscover Your Hobbies

Make time for things you enjoy in your weekly schedule. Not every minute of your day needs to be spent on completing a task or getting something done. High achievers tend to get caught in loops of always working. Whether that’s putting hours in at your job or getting through the piles of laundry that accumulated over the week. 

When To See a Therapist for Burnout 

Burnout sucks, and it can last a long time. You might feel like you’ve done everything you can to beat it, but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get your vigor and motivation back. Therapy for stress and burnout can make a big difference in helping you reclaim your life. Your therapist can help you identify the root cause of your burnout and work with you on effective ways to minimize stress and find a healthy balance in your work life. 

Is burnout stealing your productivity? Get matched with a local provider today!

The post 10 Warning Signs and Symptoms of Burnout: Causes and Recovery Tips appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

54321 Grounding Exercise: Focus on the Present

The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique is a simple and effective way to bring yourself back to the present moment when anxiety is taking over. By engaging your senses, you can distract your mind from overwhelming thoughts and focus on what’s happening around you.

Listen to the guided 54321 grounding exercise below to practice this skill:

In this audio, we’ll guide you through the 54321 grounding skill. As you listen, you’ll be gently prompted to identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This method is designed to help center your mind and bring you back to the present moment.

Video: Using the TIPP Skill for Intense Emotions

The TIPP skill is a powerful set of techniques that can help you regulate intense emotions, including panic and overwhelming anxiety. TIPP stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Each of these elements can be used to quickly soothe your body’s stress response.

Watch the video below to learn how to use the TIPP skill:

In this video, Amber explains each part of the TIPP method and demonstrate how to use these strategies in real-time. You’ll learn how changing your body temperature, doing quick exercises, using paced breathing, and engaging in muscle relaxation can calm your body and mind during moments of distress.

Additional Quick Calming Techniques

• Deep Breathing: We love the box breathing method!

• Body Scan: Close your eyes and slowly scan your body from head to toe, noticing where you might be holding tension. Release tension with each breath out.

• Mindful Observation: Choose one object in your environment and focus all your attention on it. Notice its color, texture, and shape, and describe it to yourself in detail.

These are just a few of the many tools you can use to find calm during moments of panic. We encourage you to try different techniques and discover what works best for you.

Need more help? Find an in-person or virtual therapist at Ellie Mental Health. 

The post Calm Your Mind: Tools to Help You in Moments of Panic or Stress appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a parent. It’s hard work. It’s wonderful, terrifying, beautiful, stressful, awe-inspiring, and anxiety-inducing all at once. On top of those wild emotions, it also comes with serious sleep deprivation and significant life changes. And the truth is, when we welcome new babies into the world, none of us have a clue what we’re doing.

Want to talk to someone who gets it? Get matched with a therapist near you today!

What Is Parent Counseling?

New parent counseling provides a supportive space where you can gain valuable insights, learn effective parenting strategies, and build confidence in your new role. Imagine having a trusted ally to help you navigate sleepless nights, nurture your bond with your little one, and embrace the incredible changes in your life. This can offer emotional support, practical advice, and a sense of community, ensuring you’re never alone in this adventure. 

7 Ways Parent Counseling Can Help New Parents

It’s okay if you’re not okay. New parents need emotional support, and you don’t have to undertake this journey alone. Your partner might be able to help you, your family might be able to help you, your friends might be able to help you, and a therapist might be able to help you too.

1. Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression

Let’s start with the period immediately after your bundle of joy arrives. POW! HORMONES!

Anyone who has given birth knows that what it does to your body – before, during, and after – is wild. It’s very common to experience the “baby blues” while you’re adjusting to parenthood, which is characterized by symptoms such as anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, irritability, crying, reduced appetite, and inability to sleep. It typically starts after delivery and can last up to two weeks.

However, in some people it can develop into a more severe and long-lasting condition known as postpartum depression (or PPD). This can pop-up during pregnancy or even up to a year after your baby arrives. It can present with symptoms such as severe mood swings, difficulty bonding with your baby, fear, guilt, shame, anger, feelings of worthlessness, overwhelming fatigue, and more. These symptoms are most common in new mothers, but it can actually affect new fathers as well.

Parent counseling for postpartum depression is available. A therapist can support you while you’re processing all of these thoughts and feelings. They can also help you develop a treatment plan – which may include medication management – that will help keep your head above water.

2. Missing Parental Instinct

Some people seem to take to parenting like ducks to water. They seem to thrive on raising a little one, cherishing every moment, every memory, and every minute spent with their child. Others find themselves staring at the small and mysterious creature in their arms, feeling absolutely bewildered and searching desperately for something – anything – that will stop the seemingly endless crying.

Right off the bat, we’re going to remind you that social media is not real life, and if you’re looking enviously at a cute photo of a cute baby in a cute outfit, it probably took multiple tries and resulted in a huge pile of teeny-tiny baby laundry covered in spit-up. One a serious note, however, if you feel like you’re missing the parenting instinct, you’re definitely not alone. Were you actually meant to be a parent? Or did you just start a family because it seemed like the next logical step in your life? Are you ever going to be any good at it? Will your child miss out because this isn’t coming naturally?

That’s a lot to process! The fact that these questions are keeping you up at night is a sign that you’re already a great parent – you’re doing everything you can to give your new baby an amazing life. That said, counseling can help you work through your fears and get into the groove.

3. Insomnia and Anxiety

When was the last time you got a full night of sleep? If you’re in the trenches of late-night feeds and constant diaper changes, it’s probably been a while. Even if your baby sleeps well, you might find that your struggle to switch your brain off. And the more you think about how little sleep you’ve had, the more elusive it becomes. You know you need to get some rest, but you don’t know how.

A lack of sleep can severely impact your mental health. There are a lot of things that can contribute to insomnia, but it’s likely that anxiety is playing a big part, resulting in an unending train of thoughts you can’t control. If this is you, talking to a therapist can help you work through the things that are on your mind, learn to let go of the things you can’t control, and find some new strategies to channel Sleeping Beauty.

4. Career Remorse

Choo choo! The career train is departing… and is it leaving without you? This is a huge issue for many new parents and it disproportionately affects the one who has given birth. First you have to tell your workplace that you’re pregnant, then your need time off for labor and delivery, then you may take a few days/weeks/months/years away from work to care for your new arrival. If you want to give your baby a sibling, you’ll have to rinse and repeat the entire process, leaving another gap in your career.

We’ve all seen the statistics around women in the workplace. We know that time out of the labor market impacts their careers. We know there is stigma around hiring women of child-bearing age. We know that women earn less than men. We know that when mothers return to the workforce their careers and earning potential often plateau or even diminish. It’s a lot to process. What have you done? Will you ever catch up? Why do you find yourself blaming your partner or your kids?

These are some very fertile fields for discussion and one of the reasons counseling for new parents is so important. Many people struggle with a changing sense of identity after becoming parents, and therapy can help as you redefine who you are and what you want out of life and work.

5. Parental Guilt

Parenting and guilt go hand-in-hand. You might feel guilty about what your baby is eating. Guilty about how your baby is sleeping. Guilty about how you’re spending time with your baby. Guilty about not being as present as you’d like. Guilty about not knowing as much as you wish you did. Guilty about going back to work. Guilty for lying to your child to get them to do something that will ultimately benefit them. Guilty about asking for help. Guilty for abandoning your partner.

That’s heavy. Even if you tell yourself that what you’re doing is totally normal and talk yourself around to feeling okay again, a different form of guilty can rear its ugly head and weigh you down again. Truthfully, you have enough on your plate without having to divert valuable mental energy to the guilt monster. Talk therapy is a great way to process this because it provides you with a safe environment to unload all of the guilt and shame you’re carrying around.

6. Restoring Intimacy

If you’ve had a baby, there’s a reasonable chance you can’t even think about this yet. All of your energy is going towards keeping your child alive, so you just might not have the bandwidth. When intimacy does eventually make its way back into the realm of possibility, things will have changed. Pregnancy changes your body. Exhaustion changes your brain. Parenting changes your priorities.

If you’re freaking out, you’re not feeling ready, you’re worried that you can’t give your partner what they need, or you have other concerns, reach out to a therapist. Counseling for new parents isn’t limited to talking about your baby – it can also include couple’s therapy, which is a really effective way to reconnect with your partner and find some ways to reignite the sparks between you.

7. Unpacking Childhood Baggage

Finally, lots of us are still carrying some baggage from our own childhoods. That’s just part of being human: we all inevitably fall and have to get back up again. The trouble is it’s really easy to transfer the insecurities we pick up along the way onto our kids, which is another reason why counseling for new parents is so important. As you start unpacking your own baggage, your therapist will be able to help you the identify behaviors and thought patterns you’ve developed that aren’t serving you well, so you can develop the strategies you need to replace them with healthier alternatives.

If you want to raise healthy kids, it’s important to demonstrate healthy behaviors. For example, if they see you eat fresh fruit, they’re more likely to eat fresh fruit. If they see you exercise, they’re more likely to exercise. If they see you engage in self-care, they’re more likely to engage in self-care. It’s the circle of life (*cue The Lion King*): a process of learning, unlearning, and relearning.

Parental counseling is a great way to set your kids (and yourself) up for success.

The team of experts from Ellie Mental Health can guide you in your parenting journey. Find a therapist near you today.

The post How Parent Counseling Can Help First Time Parents appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Even for adults with a college degree and a steady career, financial stress has a major impact on every aspect of life. If you’re worried about being able to pay rent or having enough money to eat a decent meal, you likely won’t have the mental energy left to stay focused during hour-long lectures or to write a 5-page paper. 

In some cases, financial stress can be so severe that you become exhausted, burnt out, depressed, or even drop out of school. Additionally, if you’re stressed about money, you may be more likely to delay getting health care or mental health treatment, opt for cheaper and faster foods, or skip out on getting a gym membership.

Financial stress in college students can also lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms – such as substance abuse, impulsive spending, or overeating. While these behaviors might let you escape your anxiety in the short term, they aren’t good for your physical or mental health and can increase stress in the long run.

Feeling overwhelmed by trying to handle all the things? We want to help you with all the things!!! Find a therapist near you who’s got your back.

5 Coping Strategies for Dealing With Financial Stress in College

1. Create a Budget

Creating a budget is a practical way to help you feel more in control of your spending. Without a budget, you don’t see the big picture of your spending, and you might be more likely to make poor financial decisions which can contribute to more stress later down the road. Creating a plan for your weekly or monthly finances can minimize financial stress as you can better project your income and manage your expenses accordingly.

As you make your budget, here are a few guidelines to get started:

Cut Down on Wasteful Spending

If your finances are tight, a budget can show you areas where you can limit your spending and save more money. One way to do this is by making a list of all expenses and prioritizing each one. Look at the expenses at the bottom of the list – if any are unnecessary or excessive you can start by cutting that expense out.

Be Realistic and Flexible

Make sure your budget has enough flexibility that you reasonably stick to it. For example, make sure expenses like your monthly groceries and gas budget are actually enough to cover your food and travel. It’s also important to consider that unexpected events happen. What if your car breaks down and needs a tow? What if a friend wants to go catch a movie? If your budget is unrealistic and you can’t stick to it, you’re likely going to feel ashamed or even more stressed when you look at the numbers.

Set Long-Term Goals

If you want to boost your savings or save up for a trip or item you’ve wanted for a long time, a budget can help you get there. You simply need to figure out the total cost for the goal and how much room you have in your budget to set aside toward this goal each month.

2. Schedule Time for Physical Activity

Exercise is a natural and effective way to minimize stress in your life. Physical activity, especially aerobic exercises like swimming, cycling, or kickboxing, can help release tension in your body, improve your sleep, build your self-esteem, promote healthy breathing, and focus your mind on something other than your stress. Exercise has a positive effect on your body’s oxygen levels and blood flow. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, which naturally lift your mood and make you feel euphoric. Not to mention the many benefits regular exercise has on your physical health.

However, stress and a tight schedule can make finding the time and motivation to exercise difficult. By the end of the school day, you might feel so spent from the day’s activities and high-stress levels that the idea of working out seems impossible. And if you’re balancing a full school schedule and a job (not to mention spending time with family, friends, and pets which take up an important portion of your day) you might not know how to fit in a workout.

Fortunately, even just a few minutes of exercise can provide stress relief benefits. If you’re struggling to add an exercise routine to your busy schedule, it can help to start small. If you can only get a couple of minutes in, then start with that and build up. Find unique ways to naturally be more active. For example, you can take your bike to school instead of driving. You can use homework breaks to take a quick walk or do some yoga.

Remember, you don’t need to train like an athlete or bodybuilder to improve your health and see an improvement in your stress and mental health. If you typically spend a lot of time sitting, you’ll likely notice a shift in how you feel right away.

3. Find a Non-Stressful Job to Support Expenses

Working while going to school can be draining. If you’re not already working, getting a part-time job can help you make some extra income. If you already have a job, consider if the job you have now might be adding to your overall stress levels.

A full college class load can take the same energy, time, and stress as a full-time job. While finding a new job might not always be simple, if you’re already feeling like you’ve reached your limit, finding a job that’s more enjoyable and less stressful can help lighten the load. You can consider looking for a job on campus, which might make it easier to work shifts between classes and your bosses might be flexible in helping you find a schedule that leaves you enough time for homework.

4. Practice General Stress-Management Techniques

While increasing your income and starting a budget can help improve your financial situation and help you feel more in control, you might still find you consistently struggle with stress. Whether caused by your finances, school, unhealthy relationships, work, or a combination of all of these things, stress can have a harsh effect on your physical and mental health. Ongoing stress increases your heart rate, raises your blood pressure, causes headaches and digestive issues, disrupts your sleep, causes social withdrawal, makes you irritable, and affects your appetite.

Learning stress management skills and finding balance in your life is key to navigating difficult life situations – including financial difficulties. As we mentioned earlier, exercise is a great way to let off steam and decrease stress. Taking time to slow down and practice mindfulness decreases stress as well. Stretching, deep breathing, meditating, doing yoga, and practicing gratitude are all ways to slow down and refocus your mind. Other habits and techniques that may help limit stress include:

• Reducing caffeine intake, especially before bed
• Spending less time on social media
• Establishing a consistent sleep schedule
• Getting outside and soaking in some sunlight
• Accepting that some situations are out of your control
• Finding time throughout the week to do things you enjoy
• Spending more time with your loved ones
• Cooking and eating healthy meals
• Learning when to say no and not overfilling your schedule
• Getting your daily dose of laughter and fun

5. Reach Out to Family and Friends for Emotional Support

Feeling isolated in your struggles can make your stress even more intense. Reaching out to a friend when you’re overwhelmed can help you get your thoughts out and avoid rumination. Your friends and family can also help you put things in perspective and potentially provide helpful advice, showing you strategies that can help you better manage your finances and structure a less stressful life.

If you’re not used to sharing how you feel with others, it can be difficult to reach out the first couple of times. However, with practice, it gets easier, and you’ll learn who can turn to for support in times of need. Knowing you have people to turn to in times of stress can help you avoid negative coping behaviors. Rather than turn to alcohol or another bad habit in an attempt to work through your stress alone, you can take time to vent to a friend and build a support system you can rely on.

Feel like you’re forever climbing a mountain of stress? Find a therapist near you.

The post How to Deal with Financial Stress as a Student appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.