What Is Geek Therapy?

Geek Therapy uses clients’ passions (whether it’s anime, sci-fi, comics or gaming) as a bridge to explore mental health. By weaving familiar stories, characters, and worlds into therapy, it creates a shared language that feels natural and accessible. This approach can make it easier to open up about emotions, build coping skills, and engage more fully in the therapeutic process.

In our recent podcast episode, Kailah Tuttle, LPC, an Ellie clinic director and a certified Geek Therapist, shared that Geek Therapy “is a language and skill set that helps deepen my connection with clients. When you understand what they’re passionate about, you can spark insights and make the work more meaningful.”

Using Dungeons & Dragons in Therapy

Think of Geek Therapy as play therapy, but for all ages. It often incorporates role-playing tabletop games, geek culture, and scenarios where clients can explore their feelings through fictional characters. For example, in D&D-based therapy, the therapist may take on the role of a Therapeutic Dungeon Master (TDM), guiding clients through imaginative quests that foster emotional regulation, problem-solving, and teamwork. This format allows clients to practice real-life skills in a safe, fictional environment, making difficult topics easier to approach.

In the podcast interview above, Kailah talks about how she brings a unique twist to her therapeutic practice by incorporating Dungeons and Dragons (D&D). As a Dungeon Master, she creatively uses tabletop role-playing games to help her clients engage with therapy in an interactive and fun way. Currently, Kailah is working on writing and creating a brand-new D&D campaign designed specifically for group therapy. She believes that D&D provides an immersive and imaginative way for clients to process emotions, practice interpersonal skills, and explore difficult topics (plus make new friends and connections!). By stepping into different roles and characters, clients can express themselves, navigate conflicts, and work through challenges, all while remaining engaged and motivated by the game’s structure and storytelling elements.

Geek + Art Therapy = Creative Self-Discovery

Geek Therapy easily intersects with art therapy. Clients might design their own superhero origin stories to reflect their personal strengths or create visual representations of their internal struggles. Seeing yourself as the hero of your own narrative can be incredibly empowering, especially when working through challenges.

I recently worked with a kid in therapy who’s really into video games and different fandoms. To connect with him, we did an art therapy activity where we each created a video game character that represented ourselves. We talked about the strengths and areas for growth in our characters, exploring how they were similar to or different from our own experiences. This approach helped us blend solution-focused skills and narrative skills with Geek Therapy, making the session both engaging and therapeutic.

Intersection of Geek Therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS)

This approach supports the development of emotional flexibility, communication skills, and self-awareness. In the interview, Kailah talks about how techniques from models like Internal Family Systems (IFS) are sometimes integrated, helping clients explore their inner “parts” through the lens of different fictional characters or avatars. By engaging with beloved stories, clients can gain fresh insights into their own internal worlds.

Geek Therapy Meets You Where You Are

Geek Therapy isn’t just for teens or self-identified geeks—it’s for anyone who connects with storytelling and creative play. Whether through gaming, movies, books, or comics, this approach makes therapy feel less clinical and more like a shared adventure.

Research and Evidence Behind Geek Therapy

You might be wondering if geek therapy is an evidenced-based therapy, and good news– there has been research done on various parts of it!

Recent studies have shown that role-playing tabletop games (including therapeutic Dungeons & Dragons) showed increased confidence, empathy, and a decrease in anxiety, especially social anxiety. The collaborative, imaginative nature of tabletop role-playing games (TTRPGs) provided a safe space to practice interpersonal skills, making it a tool for building real-world confidence. They hypothesize that by facing fictional challenges that might mirror real-life fears, clients practice emotional regulation and problem-solving in a low-pressure, fun setting. More studies can be found at this list.

Unsurprisingly, cosplaying itself has therapeutic benefits. A qualitative study revealed that cosplaying helped individuals express and explore parts of their identity, reduce social anxiety, and build confidence. By stepping into a character’s shoes, participants were able to experiment with self-expression and embrace new social roles.

Who Can Benefit from Geek Therapy?

Geek Therapy can benefit a wide range of individuals, including:

• Gamers and pop culture enthusiasts who like expressing themselves through fictional characters.
• People who struggle with traditional talk therapy. Talk therapy isn’t for everyone: a lot of people can benefit from types of therapy that are more creative and play based.
• Individuals with social anxiety or depression who find comfort in role-playing or creative outlets.  Geek therapy can be offered in groups, and this can be an excellent way to connect with others that share your passions and interests!
• Neurodivergent clients (e.g., those with autism or ADHD) who benefit from structured but imaginative environments. A lot of the research was targeted specifically for autistic clients and the progress they made though this therapy modality.

DIY Geek Therapy Techniques to Try at Home

Not quite ready to jump into geek therapy? Here are some ideas for geek mental health activities to do at home.

Character Journaling

Character journaling is a creative way to bring geek therapy home! It involves writing a journal entry from the perspective of a fictional character, whether from a book, movie, TV show, or even a character you’ve made up. By stepping into their shoes, you can explore emotions, motivations, and experiences in a creative and perhaps more comfortable way. People like this tool, because writing as a character creates a level of separation, making it easier to express vulnerable emotions that might feel too raw when written in your own voice. Plus it’s an imaginative outlet that can reduce stress and encourage flow-state writing.

How to do it:

1. Choose a character whose experiences or emotions you want to explore. This could be someone you admire or relate to.
2. Imagine a specific situation the character is facing (it can be from their fictional world or a new scenario you create).
3. Use their language, tone, and inner dialogue style. Capture their thoughts, emotions, and reactions authentically.
4. Dig into their feelings. Are they angry? Conflicted? Hopeful? Let them express it fully.

Example as a sci-fi character: “Stardate 5923.4. The loneliness out here is suffocating. My only friend is the blinking red light on the console, reminding me I’m still alive. Barely.”

“In Control, Out of my Control” Video Game Activity

Helping kids understand what they can and can’t control can be tricky, but connecting it to something familiar or concrete (like video games) makes it more engaging. A simple way that Kailah recommends to do this is by creating a video game controller worksheet.

How to do it at home (or in sessions, if you’re a therapist):

1. Draw or Print a Controller: Design your own or use a template.
2. Label the Buttons – On one side, they write things they can control (like how they react when upset). On the other, things they can’t control (like their parents arguing).
3. Add “Wish Buttons” – If they say, “I wish I could press a button and disappear when my parents fight,” use that to explore real coping strategies.
4. Reframe & Reflect – Discuss how focusing on what they can control helps them feel more empowered.
5. Use It as a Coping Tool – They can keep their controller as a reminder to focus on their own choices, even in tough situations.

D&D-inspired Goal Setting

Another way that I found you can incorporate Geek Therapy into everyday life is by using Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) mechanics as a framework for goal setting. This can make the process more engaging, creative, and motivating. This approach gamifies personal growth by turning goals into quests, milestones into challenges, and rewards into loot or experience points. Here’s how to bring this concept to life:

Instead of writing a standard goal like, “Exercise three times a week”, transform it into an adventure-style quest, like: “Strengthen your body and fortify your stamina by conquering three physical trials each week.”

Here’s another example, plus ways to break down your larger goal into “mini-quests:”

Goal: Strengthen your mental resilience and emotional well-being by completing three mindfulness-based mini-quests each week.

• Mini-Quest 1: The Breath of Clarity → Practice a 5-minute deep breathing or grounding exercise
• Mini-Quest 2: The Scroll of Reflection → Journal for 10 minutes about your thoughts, feelings, or experiences
• Mini-Quest 3: The Shield of Stillness → Complete a 10-minute guided meditation or body scan

Reward: Consistently completing the quest for a month earns the title “Master of Serenity” and grants a reward, such as a mental health day or a special experience of your choice.

As a therapist, I know that many of my clients benefit from “gamifying” their mental health goals, plus this breaks down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps.

Considering Geek Therapy?

If this style of therapy sounds like a fit for your (or maybe you’re a parent and you think your kid would connect with this), we can help you find a clinician trained in Geek Therapy. They can help you in a therapeutic journey that feels less like traditional talk therapy and more like an adventure of self-discovery, filled with the stories and characters you already love.

Listen to the podcast interview about geek therapy here, or read the transcript below:

Miranda: Welcome to the Therapist Thrival Guide. My name is Miranda, and we’re here with Kailah. Kailah, thank you so much for joining again. I’m excited to talk to you about this topic and have you back.

Kailah: Yeah, I’m so excited to be here. Hello, fellow Therapy Nerds!

Miranda: I love it. Today, we’re going to talk about geek therapy, which I feel like I know nothing about, so I’m excited to dive in. Kailah and I were just chatting beforehand about birthday plans and all sorts of things before we started recording. I started to ask a question and thought, “You know what? Let’s just start recording and make this authentic.”

So, geek therapy—what is it?

Kailah: Geek therapy encompasses a lot. Essentially, it’s about finding people’s passions and fandoms—things like anime, role-playing games, video games, comics, manga—and using those as a lens for talk therapy and mental health concepts. It’s about creating a common language with clients by using references they understand and relate to.

Miranda: I love that. You just named so many different interests. It seems like geek therapy covers a wide range of topics. Since so many things are considered geeky, this therapy approach must be pretty broad. It sounds like it’s really about meeting clients where they are, through their interests. It almost feels like play therapy in a sense. You’re nodding—did I get that right?

Kailah: Yes! There’s actually a whole field of geek therapy now, with more research emerging. I did a training last summer in 2024 called Therapeutic Dungeon Master training. You learn how to be a Dungeon Master and run therapy groups using mental health topics. It’s essentially play therapy because it’s so adventure-based. You lead people through a quest while integrating skills like mindfulness.

For example, you might have clients embody their character and describe their surroundings, take a deep breath, and access their “internal guide” or wisdom. You can create entire worlds while teaching regulation skills.

Miranda: That makes so much sense. With play therapy, you can be either directive or non-directive, depending on your style and the client’s needs. The way you’re describing geek therapy feels similar—meeting clients where they are and using their preferred language to help them process.

When I think of kids, they naturally process through play. For example, my daughter knows we’re about to move, and now her Barbie family is constantly moving houses in her dollhouse. It’s all they talk about during play. It helps her make sense of the transition. It sounds like geek therapy taps into a similar concept, but for all ages—using interests like games or fandoms as a form of processing.

I’m curious, though—does geek therapy have formal certifications? Like with play therapy, you can use play-based techniques without being a Registered Play Therapist, but there are also certifications that require specific training. Is it the same for geek therapy?

Kailah: Yes, exactly. You can be competent in geek therapy without being formally certified. Geek Therapeutics is the organization I’m part of. I went through their training five or six years ago, and I’m now a certified geek therapist. They offer a bootcamp of classes, and they also host monthly CEU trainings on specific skill sets and new media trends.

Miranda: That makes sense—you’d have to stay current with pop culture, video games, and movies since new content is always coming out.

Kailah: Exactly. What’s cool is that you don’t have to be a therapist to take the training. They offer competency classes for teachers, youth workers, and people in other fields. It’s really versatile.

Miranda: So, when you did the bootcamp, was there an exam or supervised practice required, like with other therapy modalities?

Kailah: Yes, it’s similar. You take an exam, complete 30 to 50 courses, and do supervision. They offer supervision for both geek therapy and therapeutic DMing (Dungeon Mastering), so you can specialize in either area.

Miranda: That’s so interesting. What does geek therapy look like in your practice?

Kailah: Sometimes it’s as simple as identifying a client’s favorite characters or fandoms and using those to explore mental health concepts. For example, if a client relates to an anime character or a superhero, I might use that character to help them understand their own experiences.

I also use Internal Family Systems (IFS) a lot, so I’ll have clients assign parts of themselves to fictional characters. They might have a “Batman part” that’s a loner or a vigilante, and we’ll explore how that part approaches situations in their life. It creates a safe way to discuss internal conflicts.

On a larger scale, I’m developing a therapeutic Dungeons & Dragons group that will run for 10 weeks. Participants will create characters, level up, and go on an adventure together, while working on skills like regulation and problem-solving.

Miranda: That’s so cool! Is it a closed group, with the same participants throughout? I don’t know much about Dungeons & Dragons, but I do know being a Dungeon Master requires a ton of creativity and planning. It sounds like a lot of work to combine it with therapy.

Kailah: It is! You’ll notice I said I’m “working on” the group—it hasn’t started yet because it’s so time-intensive. I’m a therapist, a mom, and a clinic director for three clinics, so it’s a passion project that’s slowly coming together. Even if you use a pre-existing campaign, you still have to adapt it with therapeutic elements, run character-creation sessions, and teach the basics of tabletop role-playing. It’s a lot of prep work, but once it’s done, I’ll have a reusable framework.

Miranda: That makes sense—it’s like group therapy. It sounds like it has psychoeducation elements where you’re teaching skills, but is there also a processing component? Do clients share personal experiences during the campaign?

Kailah: It depends on how you structure the group. Typically, we start with check-in questions. For example, we might ask how a client and their character would respond to a current event. Speaking through a character often makes it easier for people to be vulnerable.

Characters can represent idealized versions of clients, more reserved or more expressive than they are in real life. Through their characters, clients reveal insights into their own emotional world. It creates distance, which helps some clients express emotions they might otherwise avoid.

Miranda: I can see how helpful this would be. As you’re describing it, I’m like, this makes so much sense. Especially when you’re talking about character creation. Other modalities do that too, where they’ll have you talk about a preferred future or your safe space. IFS makes a lot of sense—you have your manager parts—and it makes sense how you can use character building to explore how a person might be similar or different from the character they’ve created. This is fascinating.

Okay. First off, I don’t know much about Dungeons and Dragons, but can’t a single session last for hours? How would you contain this to a short group?

Kailah: Yeah, it depends. We would probably do a long campaign with different modules or scenes. If you think about it like a play or a movie, there are different acts. Sometimes you have to get really creative, and that takes some flexibility. There’s a lot of improv involved in role-playing settings. Sometimes you need to say, “This is a good time to pause,” and maybe fill the last 20 minutes with something else. Or you have to stop at an awkward point and pick back up later.

It takes a lot of note-taking and being mindful of where everyone’s at. It doesn’t always fit neatly into a time period, so ideally there’s some flexibility.

Miranda: I’m just thinking about how you would bill insurance and write your progress notes. You’d have to be creative about it. You’d probably say something like, “Client processed X, Y, and Z through therapeutic play” or something like that. Or tweak the notes to frame it as a therapeutic intervention. I’m just envisioning how you would write down some of the different things.

Kailah: Yeah. You typically just focus on the skill, like you would with anything else. You’d write, “Learned how to ground using breathing techniques” or whatever it is you’re targeting in the group setting.

Miranda: You wouldn’t write, “Miranda went on this adventure, encountered a dragon, and stole all of their loot.”

Kailah: No, but that would be so much more interesting to read.

Miranda: It would! I would much rather write a note like that. But… insurance.

Kailah: Yeah, insurance.

Miranda: That’s so funny. Okay, so Dungeons and Dragons—I can’t wait to hear more when you actually run this campaign. This is super cool. But in order to do this, did you call it Therapeutic Dungeons and Dragons?

Kailah: Yeah, so I am technically a Therapeutic Game Master after completing this training.

Miranda: Game Master, okay. What did that training look like? Did you have to do additional training after your Geek Therapeutics certification?

Kailah: Yeah, this was a whole separate program. It was structured in a similar way. I had a cohort of other therapists across the U.S. It was all virtual, and we had our own therapeutic dungeon master. It was both learning and process-oriented.

It was two hours every week for about 10 weeks. The first hour was theory—game and character creation, adventure planning, and technical Dungeons and Dragons skills. The second half was focused on blending it with therapy. We also facilitated our own group. We acted as characters and role-played to get a sense of the process.

For our final project, we each had to take turns being the DM (dungeon master) and lead a scene. We created our own content—called “homebrew”—and walked people through it. We outlined the skills we wanted the group to practice throughout the process.

Miranda: I remember a couple of years ago when we first started this podcast, we had one of my colleagues, Tamara, on. She talked about how therapists find their niche. She was someone who, right out of grad school, knew she wanted to work with elderly or geriatric clients. That was her niche.

But for a lot of us, it takes longer to figure out what type of client we love working with. By the time this comes out, we’ll have another episode with Karna, who talked about how her niche became all trauma. But seeing trauma clients for five to eight hours a day caused her to experience secondary traumatic stress.

When we talk about finding our niche, sometimes it takes experimenting with different clients and realizing, “Actually, I really like working with this group.” From that old episode, I remember Tamara said it’s all about the clients where you feel in flow—the ones where it doesn’t feel like work. Everything just flows naturally.

I can see how, for a lot of people who identify as geeks, this would be such a cool modality. They probably feel like you do—it’s fun. You can see how it helps people, and it also helps you. This modality seems like a lot of fun, especially for people who are really into games, role-play, or geek culture.

Kailah: Yeah. It’s really fun, and it makes it easier to talk about hard topics through this lens. And not just individually, but also with the group behind it.

One of my favorite things to do is go to Comic-Con. When you’re there, you find your community—your people. It’s the same for anything, whether it’s going to a football game or whatever your thing is. You meet people who resonate with the same stuff.

Through characters, people process their own content. A lot of geek culture and media is based on Jungian theory—archetypes and the collective unconscious. You see these repeated themes throughout humanity—stories, fables, and characters that show up again and again. There’s a reason they resonate so deeply—they reflect the human experience.

Miranda: What are some other things you like to do with clients that fall under this realm?

Kailah: I do art therapy as well. Art therapy and geek therapy blend together really beautifully.

Miranda: Ooh, how?

Kailah: There’s so much you can do with narrative therapy. If you think about it through the “hero of your own story” lens, I’ve had clients write their origin story—similar to a superhero’s backstory.

Most superheroes have gone through trauma. Batman, Superman—most of them have some sort of traumatic past that shaped them. What better lens to view humanity and the therapeutic process through? It allows clients to reflect on their strengths and how they’ve grown.

Miranda: Interesting. So when you do art therapy, would you ever have people create a comic book? For some reason, that’s the first thing that comes to mind. What other types of activities would you have them do?

Kailah: It really depends on what the client is into. I’ve definitely done comic books, especially with younger clients. I mostly see adults now, with some teens. I still see kids, but my schedule makes it harder to take on as many.

At Comic-Con events, I run therapy resource rooms and usually include some sort of art activity. We’ve done journal origin stories and comic book-style projects. We’ve also done mask-making—creating an alter ego superhero mask.

Another fun activity is making trading cards, especially for clients who like Pokémon. They design cards based on their strengths or values. You can get creative with it—this is my deck, and I can collect attributes, trade them out, or give them to others. You can use it however you want, but it becomes a tangible representation of their qualities.

Miranda: Oh, that’s so cool. I remember a couple of years ago, we had Neil Peterson on—shoutout to Neil! He was actually the one who first told me about geek therapy. I learned about this topic because of him.

He’s a play therapist and a clinic director here in Minnesota. In his episode, he talked about his big closet full of games. As part of his geek therapy, he uses really specific, awesome board games with clients.

When I first heard about geek therapy, I thought it was just about playing board games like Dominion or other geeky games. But it seems like it can also just be talk therapy, using shared language or this lens. What does that look like?

Kailah: I think you have to have one foot in both worlds—steeped in geek culture and aware of what’s out there. Even if it’s something I don’t necessarily watch, you just learn how to talk the language and understand the basic components. But then also, of course, mental health is the primary focus.

Sometimes it’s about crafting metaphors to walk alongside people on their journey. I use the Hero’s Journey a lot in therapy—thinking about where people are. Most people don’t come to therapy because things are awesome. They come because they’re in a really hard season of life. So, if you can mirror that with another character or experience they resonate with—whether they’re having the same struggles or they see strengths in that character they haven’t found in themselves yet—they can draw on that for wisdom or support. It’s almost like they have their own little Yoda guiding them.

Miranda: So, if you were starting out with a new client, would you have them identify characters they admire or relate to? How would you begin to tease that out?

Kailah: I don’t usually ask directly, “Which geeky characters do you identify with?” during an intake—unless they’re obviously super nerdy. Instead, I ask about hobbies, interests, or just walk through their day. If they mention playing video games, I’ll ask, “Ooh, what games?” Or if they say they play board games with friends, I’ll get curious about which ones. That gives me a sense of shared commonality and helps me understand their world. Books, movies, shows—anything they engage with can be a doorway into that connection.

Miranda: Man, you really have to be on top of everything! Geek culture is so broad—it covers movies, board games, video games, and more. I admire you for keeping up with it all. Are there parts of geek culture you gravitate more toward? You mentioned Dungeons & Dragons, but if someone is super into Marvel or superheroes, do you lean into that?

Kailah: Definitely. There are certain areas where I can speak the language more fluently. I’m by no means a D&D expert—I’m still learning a lot—but I know enough to engage with it. Harry Potter is a big one for me. I’m a huge fan—I actually had a Harry Potter/Lord of the Rings-themed wedding!

Miranda: Oh my gosh, I love that!

Kailah: Yeah, so naturally, I draw from those worlds a lot. There’s so much built-in magic, facing fears, and overcoming traumatic backstories. Because I consume that content so frequently, it’s easy to reference it in therapy—like comparing a client’s journey to Harry facing his fears or Frodo carrying his burden.

Miranda: That makes so much sense. It’s funny—about a year or two ago, I was seeing a 14-year-old client who was super into Harry Potter. At the end of each session, she would bring me Harry Potter trivia questions.

Kailah: That’s adorable.

Miranda: It was so fun, but also humbling because I was terrible at the trivia! I’ve read the books, but she knew it inside and out. She’d be like, “Who did this?” and I’d guess, “Hermione?” and she’d go, “No, of course not—it was blah, blah, blah.” She beat me every single time.

It’s funny, though—if I had known about geek therapy back then, I probably would’ve thought, “I should refer her to a geek therapist. She would thrive in that setting!”

Would you actually consider geek therapy its own modality? How would you describe it?

Kailah: I think of it more as a lens rather than a standalone modality. It’s typically paired with other evidence-based approaches. There are people with doctorate degrees doing research on geek therapy, and there are conferences and books dedicated to it. But it’s usually integrated with something else—like art therapy, narrative therapy, or CBT. For example, you can use characters to build psychological flexibility or explore personal values.

For me, it’s more of a language and skill set that helps deepen my connection with clients. When you understand what they’re passionate about, you can spark insights and make the work more meaningful.

Miranda: Yeah, I can see how it would be a powerful tool for building rapport and finding common ground.

Are there any other parts of geek therapy you feel we haven’t covered?

Kailah: There are so many different aspects to it. Geek Therapeutics sends out a weekly newsletter that’s a great resource—even if you’re just mildly interested. You can sign up for free at geektherapeutics.com. They share tips like, “How to explore strengths and values through Pokémon” or other creative interventions. It’s a great way to get new ideas.

Miranda: That’s a fantastic resource.

If a therapist wanted to start incorporating geek therapy with a client, are there any specific interventions or activities you recommend? I loved your idea of making trading cards or comic book characters. Do you have other go-to strategies?

Kailah: Yeah, a few come to mind. One simple activity is creating a video game controller worksheet—especially for kids. You have them draw buttons that represent things they can and can’t control in their life. For example, they might say, “I wish I could hit a button and disappear when my parents argue.” It’s a creative way to talk about control and coping.

Another one is working with ideal vs. current self. Around the new year, people naturally reflect on their goals, but you can gamify it. I sometimes have clients create a D&D-style character sheet with their current stats—things like strength, charisma, wisdom—and then make an ideal version. We talk about what it would take to bridge the gap. Do they want to be stronger? More confident? What skills or experiences would help them level up?

Miranda: Those are brilliant. I’m not a geek myself, but I could definitely see using these activities with clients—especially adolescents. So many of them are into manga, video games, or other geek culture.

Kailah: Absolutely! It’s such a fun and meaningful way to connect with them. Miranda, I wanna learn more about your fandom. Like, if you were working with a geek therapist and they asked, “Miranda, what are we gonna use?”—what would be your thing?

Miranda: Oh my gosh, that’s such a good question. Hmm… maybe superheroes? I’ve never been super into superhero movies, but when I was little, I would write stories about superheroes all the time. I think there’s just something about imagining what my superpower would be or what I’d want to be able to do.

And honestly, there’s still a part of me—the inner kid—that totally loves that kind of stuff. It’s just fun. Oh! I’m also a Disney nerd. My husband and I are actually taking our kids to Disney next month, and, Kailah, I am obsessed. I live and breathe everything about our trip.

Right before I jumped on here, I texted my sister a screenshot and was like, “This is where we meet Mickey, and we have to be there at 2:00 PM.” I’d been looking at historical data and figured out that’s when the line is shortest. I don’t know, I just… maybe I geek out about Disney logistics.

Kailah: No, that’s so good! I love it. And you’re bringing up something really important—staying connected to your inner child. I’m such a big believer in keeping that sense of wonder alive.

Miranda: Yes!

Kailah: Play, imagination, love—all those things we tend to lose sight of as adults. Our world gets so hectic and busy that it takes conscious effort to tap back into that childlike joy. And play is one of the most powerful ways to do it.

Miranda: I totally agree. I feel like I’ve never felt more connected to my inner child than I have since becoming a parent. Having a 4-year-old and seeing the world through her sense of wonder, excitement, and pure magic—it’s just so much fun. It’s brought a lot of that back for me, too. It’s like I get to experience things through her eyes.

Okay, wait—what’s your main fandom? What’s your thing?

Kailah: Oh, probably Harry Potter. But I’m also a big fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Miranda: I’ve never seen it!

Kailah: Oh my gosh. You’re missing out!

Miranda: I know, I’m a bad millennial.

Kailah: Haha! It’s so good. I love vampire lore in general—it’s always really fun. Anything with vampires or witchy magic vibes, I’m into it.

Miranda: I like it.

Thank you so much for joining me today—this has been such a fun conversation. It was really helpful to learn more about geek therapy and how you incorporate it into your work. I’ll be sure to include some of the resources you mentioned in the episode description so people can check them out.

Oh! And are you currently accepting clients, or are you way too busy?

Kailah: I’m pretty busy! I oversee about 20 therapists, and most of them are accepting clients. I’ll probably be running groups in the future, once I get everything rolling, so people can stay tuned for that.

Miranda: Awesome. Well, I can’t wait to hear about your D&D groups—I bet they’re gonna be amazing. Thanks again for joining, and thanks to everyone for listening. We’ll see you next week!

The post Geek Therapy: How Video Games, D&D, and Fandom Can Support Mental Health appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Through years of training and practice, I’ve learned that Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT) is much more than just dancing to feel good. It is a powerful, evidence-based psychotherapy approach that integrates movement to promote emotional, social, cognitive, and physical well-being.

Before diving into what DMT is, let’s start with what it isn’t.

What Dance/Movement Therapy Is NOT

Many misconceptions surround Dance/Movement Therapy. Let’s clear some up:

• Not a Dance Class: Clients do not need to know how to dance or be “good” at dancing to benefit from DMT. It is not about learning dance techniques or choreography.
• Not a Form of Physical Therapy: Although movement is a core element of DMT, its primary focus is psychological and emotional healing, rather than rehabilitation for physical injuries.
• Not Just for Women: There may be a misconception that DMT is only for those who identify as female. However, it is a therapy for all individuals, regardless of gender.
• Not for Everyone: Like any therapeutic approach, DMT may not be the right fit for every client. The best therapy is the one that aligns with a person’s needs and comfort level.

Check out our recent interview with a Dance/Movement Therapist here:

The History and Definition of Dance/Movement Therapy

Dance has been used for healing purposes in cultures around the world for thousands of years. However, modern Dance/Movement Therapy as a psychotherapeutic practice developed in the 20th century.

The Origins of Dance/Movement Therapy

One of the pioneers of DMT, Marian Chace, began using dance as a therapeutic modality in the 1940s and 1950s at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Washington, D.C. She later co-founded the American Dance Therapy Association (ADTA) in 1966, helping establish DMT as a recognized field.

According to the American Dance Therapy Association (ADTA), Dance/Movement Therapy is:

“The psychotherapeutic use of movement to promote emotional, social, cognitive, and physical integration of the individual.”

ADTA members have expanded this definition to include:

“The intentional use of dance, creative movement, body awareness, and embodied and spoken communication, facilitated through the therapeutic relationship, to foster healing and wellness for individuals, families, and communities.”

What Can Dance/Movement Therapy Treat?

Simply put, DMT can be utilized to treat anything and everything. Examples include:

• Aging and Dementia
• Autism Spectrum Disorders and Intellectual Disabilities
• Learning Disabilities
• Psychiatric, Emotional and Behavioral Disorders in children
• Stress
• Anxiety
• Mood disorders
• Eating disorders
• Low self-esteem
• Relationship concerns
• Trauma
• OCD

…and so much more! A Dance/Movement Therapist will work with you to determine the best approach for your treatment area and goals.

How Does Dance/Movement Therapy Help with Trauma?

Sometimes it can be difficult to articulate trauma experience through words. The body holds memories. When faced with certain stress triggers, we may experience reactions such as shortness of breath, clenched fists, or the flight/flight/freeze response. DMT offers clients a safe space to express their emotions and process their experiences in an embodied way. Over time, this can help individuals to release these held memories and emotions and gain a sense of control, safety and sense of empowerment in their bodies.

Find an Ellie Dance/Movement Therapist near you.

Where Is Dance/Movement Therapy Used?

Dance/Movement Therapy is used in a variety of settings, including:

• Mental health facilities
• Rehabilitation centers
• Medical settings
• Educational institutions
• Forensic settings
• Nursing homes
• Disease prevention and health promotion programs
• Private practice

DMT can be practiced with people of all ages, backgrounds, and in various formats, including individual, couples, family, and group therapy.

How Does Dance/Movement Therapy Work?

Dance/movement therapists help clients improve self-esteem, body image, communication, relationships, and coping skills. By observing and analyzing movement patterns, therapists can help clients gain deeper insight into their behaviors and emotions.

What Happens in a DMT Session?

A Dance/Movement Therapy session can include:

• Expressive movement with props (scarves, stretch bands, balloons)
• Seated or standing movement activities
• The use of different types of music
• Guided imagery and visualization
• Breathing and meditative relaxation exercises
• The use of metaphor, play, and storytelling
• Individual movement, partner work, or group interactions

The goal is not to perform but to use movement as a tool for self-expression, healing, and personal growth.

The Mind-Body Connection in Dance/Movement Therapy

DMT recognizes that we are not just our minds and not just our bodies, but a combination of the two. What impacts one, affects the other.

By engaging in movement-based therapy, individuals can work through emotions, build resilience, and foster a greater sense of self-awareness.

Is Dance/Movement Therapy Effective?

In a word, Yes. Research in the field has demonstrated that DMT can be effective at decreasing depression, decreasing blood pressure, improving psychological and physical outcomes in cancer patients, addressing trauma, improving balance and communication in older adults, and so much more. To learn more, check out these research articles from ADTA or this article found on the National Institute of Health’s site:

Effects of Dance Movement Therapy and Dance on Health-Related Psychological Outcomes. A Meta-Analysis Update – PMC

Do You Need Dance Experience for Dance/Movement Therapy?

No, you do not need any dance experience to participate in a DMT session. Your therapist will guide you in various forms of moving, that may include movement warmups, use of imagery in movement, and use of props such as scarves or stretch bands, to help you express your emotions and address your treatment goals with focus on the mind-body connection. They will meet you where you are in your therapeutic journey and never push you to engage in a way in which you are not comfortable or physically able to do.

How Does One Become a Dance/Movement Therapist?

There are master’s level programs at select schools throughout the country, as well as alternate route training available. After graduating, therapists can apply for their R-DMT (Registered DMT) or go on to pursue their Board Certification and become a BC-DMT. Continuing Education credits are required every five years. In addition to webinar courses, the ADTA holds a Virtual Spring Summit as well as an annual conference in the Fall, held at different regions of the country each year. This year the ADTA will be holding its 60^th annual conference in Raleigh, N.C. In addition, there are numerous opportunities to become involved through local chapters and national committees. For more information, visit www.adta.org .

Ready to Experience Dance/Movement Therapy?

If you ever have the opportunity to try a Dance/Movement Therapy session, I hope this breakdown has given you a better understanding of what it is—and isn’t. I’ll leave you with a quote from American dancer and choreographer Agnes de Mille:

“The truest expression of a people is in its dances and its music. Bodies never lie.”

To learn about other “non-traditional” forms of therapy, check out these other blogs from Ellie Mental Health:

Art Therapy Techniques, Benefits, and Applications | Ellie Mental Health, PLLP

What is Psychedelic Therapy? | Ellie Mental Health, PLLP

VR Therapy and its Mental Health Benefits | Ellie Mental Health PLLP

Listed to Ellie’s podcast episode about Dance/Movement Therapy on Spotify. Read the transcript below:

Miranda: Welcome to the Therapist Thrival Guide. My name is Miranda. I am a licensed clinical social worker, and I’m here with Shelby. Shelby, do you want to introduce yourself?

Shelby: Hi, I’m Shelby. I’m here at the Ellie Mental Health Clinic in St. Petersburg, Florida. I am a registered intern mental health counselor, but I’m also a registered dance movement therapist. It’s interesting to have both fields and bring that to the table for people.

Miranda: So, with dance movement therapy, is that a specific degree you pursued, or is it training you received after earning your mental health or master’s degree?

Shelby: It’s interesting—the school I attended actually offers a psychology minor. I completed that along with everything else. The full title of my degree is Clinical Mental Health Counseling with a Specialization in Dance Movement Therapy. The school is Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and their program combines psychotherapy and dance movement therapy at the master’s level.

It’s a two- or three-year degree, and once you finish, you’re eligible to become a registered dance movement therapist. You just submit your application, log your hours, and then meet your state’s licensure requirements—whether that’s becoming an LMFT, licensed mental health counselor, licensed clinical social worker, or whatever fits your state’s obligations.

Miranda: Which of those programs did you complete, or which licensure are you pursuing at this point?

Shelby: So, I have my license in dance movement therapy. You can either be a registered dance movement therapist (R-DMT) or a board-certified dance movement therapist (BC-DMT). You have to be registered first to move up to board-certified status, which requires more experience.

As a registered dance movement therapist, you can do everything a board-certified therapist can, except for things like conducting official research studies. You can still provide therapy, work with clients, and collaborate in the field. But becoming board-certified is a great next step—it just opens more opportunities.

The track for that is pretty straightforward. If you’ve done enough work within your program, you’ll continue building on that. There are always conventions and networking opportunities happening. I stay connected with my cohort, too—we all grew really close during the program. Now, we’re spread out, each bringing different viewpoints on how to apply this approach to both dance and therapy.

Miranda: That is so cool. I appreciate you walking me through that because, in my mind, it’s similar to art therapy. You can infuse creative techniques into your practice, but unless you’ve completed the specific training, you’re not a registered art therapist.

Similarly, as a licensed clinical social worker, I could incorporate some movement techniques with my clients, but that doesn’t make me a dance movement therapist. That distinction makes sense. How did you get started with this? It sounds amazing.

Shelby: It’s a long story—one with a lot of emotion and depth.

I started dancing when I was a freshman in high school and immediately fell in love with it. I always knew I wanted to combine dance with helping people. For the longest time, I thought that meant working with individuals with physical disabilities. I was especially driven to do that because I have a physical disability myself—I’m hearing impaired.

That was my focus for years. But then, in 2015, I got devastating news—my boyfriend had passed away. It was incredibly difficult. I struggled to verbalize what I was feeling. I was so young, and at the time, I was working on a dance project for class. I couldn’t bring myself to continue with the original focus, so I asked my dance professor if I could change it to help me process my grief. She said yes.

I ended up creating a video that was both a celebration of my boyfriend and our story, but it also portrayed the stages of grief. That project was a turning point for me. Something clicked. I realized there was a profound connection between physical movement and emotional healing, and I knew I wanted to explore it further.

I started researching mind-body connections but couldn’t quite find what I was looking for. Then, one day, dance movement therapy randomly popped up on my Facebook feed. I started diving into it and instantly knew, this is it. This is what I’m meant to do.

From there, I researched schools, programs, and what I needed to make this a career. I went all in. Dance movement therapy became my passion—combining mental health with creative expression. I still have the option to work with individuals with physical disabilities if I want, but the mental health aspect really resonated with me. Using movement to help people heal is so creative and fulfilling—it sparks so much inspiration in me as a therapist.

Miranda: Oh, thank you so much for sharing that. That’s incredible. I love how you recognized the healing power of movement before you even fully understood the therapeutic connection. You were processing your loss through dance without realizing how impactful it was, and now you get to help others do the same. I have chills—that’s so cool.

So, what exactly is dance movement therapy? What does it look like in practice?

Shelby: That’s a great question. When people hear “dance movement therapy,” they often think, Am I signing up for a dance class? But no—it’s not a dance class.

The foundation of dance movement therapy is the belief that movement is our first language. We don’t come out of the womb talking—we move. Even in the womb, there’s movement. It’s how we first communicate our needs.

Dance movement therapy taps into that innate language. It’s not about formal dance styles like ballet or hip-hop. Instead, it’s about exploring each person’s natural movement. What feels authentic to them? When they’re angry, how does their body express it? When they’re sad, how do they physically carry that emotion?

As therapists, we help clients reprocess and reframe emotions through movement. It’s a psychological approach that integrates physical expression into social, cognitive, and emotional healing—just like other forms of psychotherapy, but using the body as a key tool for expression and processing.

Shelby:
It’s just in a nonverbal way, but we also recognize the importance of verbalization. To be able to have that too, because once it processes in the body, they can be like, “Oh, okay, now I can verbalize this a little better.”

There are some dance movement therapists—I like to do this too—who practice a “let’s move, let’s talk, let’s move, let’s talk” approach. Then I have some people who are strictly like, “Hey, I don’t want to do verbal,” and I’m like, “Okay.” We’re just going to do movement for the whole session. It’s about bringing in those dance movement therapy skills and helping them on a therapeutic level during those times.

Miranda:
I have so many questions. This is so cool. Okay, what does your office look like? Do you have space to move?

Shelby:
In my office, I have space for me and one other person. If it goes beyond that, or if the person wants more room, I’ll move us over to the group room so they have more space.

I can also do dance movement therapy via telehealth. It doesn’t have to be in person. If any of my clients are interested in virtual sessions, I just want them to have space where they don’t feel constricted.

Also, dance movement therapy doesn’t have to be done standing. It can be done sitting, lying down, or in any way that makes the client feel comfortable—especially in the beginning when it can feel really vulnerable. Being okay with that can be hard, so I let them take the lead with some guidance. Then, we work on building up rapport and confidence in movement.

It’s fun. It’s interesting. I always do it at the client’s comfort level.

Miranda:
Do most of your clients seek you out specifically for dance movement therapy? Or do they tend to have a background in dance?

Shelby:
I have some clients who reach out specifically for dance movement therapy. They’re like, “We want this. We want a holistic approach,” because essentially, that’s what dance movement therapy is—even though we’re applying psychotherapy skills in the session without people realizing it.

Some people see me for just dance movement therapy. Others want both—they’ll say, “Hey, I want dance movement therapy, but I also want talk therapy.”

Miranda:
Sure.

Shelby:
So, I always have two plans in my head for those clients. If they’re doing talk therapy that day and need to process something, I have a plan for that. If they’re wanting dance movement therapy, I have an ideal movement plan ready.

Some people also reach out to me specifically because they want a body-positive therapist. They trust that, as a dance movement therapist, I’ll be body-positive and affirming. I’m not going to shut anything down or dismiss their experiences, which they may have faced elsewhere.

I help them build self-esteem and become more comfortable in their bodies. It’s about fostering body positivity for themselves.

Miranda:
Oh, that’s so cool. When you’re doing dance movement therapy, I think I know the answer to this, but it’s not like you’re saying, “Alright, we’re going to process your grief now, so these are the movements you do for grief,” right? It’s not that structured—it’s more client-led, with whatever movements feel right for them?

Shelby:
Definitely. It’s based on movements that feel comfortable for them, but as the therapist, I’ll gently challenge them to push further when appropriate.

I create treatment plans with my clients. With dance movement therapy, I’ll ask, “What do you want to focus on? Grief? Trauma? Anxiety? Depression?” Then, we set goals and priorities.

For example, if someone comes to me for trauma, I might have them draw something out. Then I’ll say, “Okay, now let’s move with this. How does this move you?” It gets their creativity flowing and helps them explore what their experience looks and feels like through movement.

It’s their story. It’s like they’re becoming the narrator of their story through movement—expressing what their trauma felt like or what they actually experienced.

I have some clients who’ve suffered from domestic violence. If they were choked or held down, they might show those movements. I know the areas of the body where they’ve suffered, and we can work on processing those experiences through movement.

As the therapist, I’m observing and assessing in the moment—while also helping them process. It’s very client-led, but it can also be structured if they feel more comfortable with that. I always check in and say, “This is your body. This is your movement. How your body moves is different from how mine moves. What does this look like for you?”

Miranda:
I would imagine it’s very different from a dance class. It’s not like you’re teaching them specific dance moves. It’s more about showing how their body processes emotions, right? Asking, “What does that movement look like for you?”

Shelby:
Exactly. I’ll also bring in props if I notice someone is struggling.

If I sense they feel “stuck,” I’ll bring out a bunch of props and say, “What do you gravitate toward?” It helps them express their feelings tactically.

A lot of people choose my dancing scarves—these see-through, colored fabrics. The colors can represent emotions. For example, some people pick orange or yellow for anxiety. It’s interesting to see the connections they make.

As they work with the prop, I’ll ask, “How does this feel for you?” Then, I’ll guide them to incorporate it into their body movements. “Where do you feel this in your body?” It helps with the transition into deeper movement exploration.

Miranda:
That’s awesome. A couple of weeks ago, we did an episode on self-care with a therapist (shoutout to Taylor!) who talked about how she processes stress by dancing after work.

I was so inspired by that. Dance is such a great way to release feelings and move your body—especially for therapists who sit all day. Even just being silly or shaking off stress can be so helpful.

I’m curious, what role does music play? Do you choose the music, or do clients choose their own?

Shelby:
It’s different for all ages. With kids, music is huge, of course.

The type of music matters. For example, if we’re working on grief but the music is really upbeat, the client might shift away from processing and just match the music’s energy. As the therapist, I have to assess: “Have they processed enough and now they need this change, or do we need to refocus and switch the music?”

I have several dance movement therapy playlists. Some people get overwhelmed choosing music, so I’ll offer playlists with different moods. I have grounding music—more mellow, meditative tracks—and more intense emotional music that still includes some grounding elements.

If clients bring their own songs or playlists, I fully support that. I just ask that we’re mindful of explicit lyrics since we share office space with other therapists and clients of all ages.

Miranda:
That makes sense.

Shelby:
If a client’s music has explicit content, I’ll ask them to find a clean version. That way, they still feel validated by their music choice while maintaining a therapeutic environment.

Miranda:
Are clients ever choreographing routines, or is it more free-flowing? Like, do they say, “I’m going to dance to this song next week,” or is it different each time?

Shelby:
It can be either way—there’s so much creativity in dance movement therapy.

I’ll ask clients, “Do you want this to be free-flowing, or do you want it choreographed?” Some want something special and structured, like what I did in my own video. Since I was a dancer, mine was choreographed.

If a client wants to choreograph, I’ll honor that. It can be challenging, so I’ll support them through it. But if they want free-flowing movement, I’ll honor that too. It’s entirely based on their comfort level.

Miranda:
That’s great. I’m assuming you’re moving with them—you’re not just sitting and watching, right?

Shelby:
Exactly. Most of the time, I’m moving with them unless they tell me otherwise. I don’t want them to feel alone or like I’m critiquing them. Moving together helps create connection, and I can still observe and assess while participating alongside them.

I’ll mirror exactly what they’re doing—nice and easy—whatever they feel comfortable with. If they say, “Hey, I’m done,” then we’ll close it out. And I’ll ask, “How did that feel for you? What did you notice, especially with the trauma story?”

When they’re doing that mirroring, it can be really liberating for them to finally have someone who’s reflecting their movements. It’s like saying, “I understand what you’re feeling. I hear your narrative. I’m validating your feelings and moving through this process with you.”

I actually did my dance movement therapy thesis on trauma and how to apply these techniques for different trauma situations. It’s fascinating to use dance movement therapy techniques to help someone rewrite their narrative through movement.

Miranda: Mirroring is such a cool concept. I can see how helpful that would be for people. What are some other techniques you often use with clients that are similar?

Shelby: My go-to technique is something I call a body map.

The body map can be whatever the client wants it to be, but it helps both of us see what’s happening in their body. I don’t typically introduce it in the first or second session. I usually wait until there’s more rapport built. When we do it, they create a body map.

There are two ways to do this, depending on their comfort level. They can either trace their body on a large poster board or use a smaller, printed outline of a human figure. On the map, they label emotions they feel in certain areas or identify triggers, like words or music, that evoke specific sensations.

For example, if they feel anxiety in their hands and I notice their hands shaking during a session, I’ll say, “We talked about this during the body map. This is a trigger. You’re feeling anxious right now. Let’s pause and ground.”

Often, people place sensations in their stomach. I’ll notice that they start slouching or cowering inward, almost as if they’re protecting their stomach. That body language tells me a lot, and the map helps me recognize and respond to it.

I always do another body map when they’re ready for discharge. It gives us a visual representation of any changes. We can look at it together and say, “This is how dance movement therapy helped you.” It’s a tangible way for them to see their progress.

Miranda: That’s such a cool tool. I often have Gina on the podcast—she was my clinical supervisor—and she does EMDR, mostly with kids. She talks about using body maps a lot to help kids identify feelings and where they experience them physically. I love that you incorporate this into dance movement therapy too.

Do you mostly work with kids, or do you see adults as well? What ages do you typically work with?

Shelby: It’s all ages. Dance movement therapy has no restrictions. We can adapt it to fit anyone’s needs.

If I have elderly clients, I tailor the movements for their abilities. I also see younger women, and sometimes younger boys. As they get older, boys are often more hesitant due to the stigma around doing something artistic. But I have worked with some older boys who are willing to challenge that stigma.

Overall, dance movement therapy is completely adaptable. There are no restrictions on mental health diagnoses, age, or physical abilities.

Miranda: That’s so important—and so cool—because I can imagine some people might wonder, “Can I do this if I have mobility restrictions?” It’s great to hear how flexible and inclusive it is.

Do you have certain diagnoses or presenting issues that are your niche or that you prefer to work with?

Shelby: I’m pretty open, but I do tend to see a lot of clients with trauma. This includes sexual assault, physical assault, and childhood trauma.

Everyone knows the book The Body Keeps the Score, but it’s true—your body really does hold onto trauma. I often work with people who feel like they’ve cognitively processed their trauma through talk therapy, but they’re still experiencing lingering physical symptoms. That’s where dance movement therapy helps bridge the gap by connecting the mind and body.

I also work with people processing grief. Grief can make you feel physically weighed down, like you can’t even walk. Through movement, we practice releasing some of those heavy, chained feelings.

I see a lot of clients with anxiety as well. Many of them recognize that their anxiety shows up in their body before it registers in their mind. So, they come to me wanting to learn how to regulate their physical symptoms first, knowing that the cognitive response will follow.

Dance movement therapy is also helpful for people with autism, ADHD, and other neurodevelopmental disorders. When I worked in a facility, I saw a wide range of diagnoses. It really just comes down to whether the person is open to the experience. If they’re hesitant, we explore why. Are they afraid something might surface? Or do they simply feel it’s not their thing? It’s fascinating to see how different people respond.

When I was at the facility, I often ran dance movement therapy groups. People would ask, “Are you doing individual dance movement therapy sessions?” and I’d say, “Yes, but only a few per week.” The group format was more common. We’d choose a topic and work through it together using movement.

Miranda: A dance movement therapy group is such a cool idea—I hadn’t even thought about that! Do you choose the music and topic each week, or how does that work?

Shelby: I always choose the music. When you have a large group, it’s hard to cater to everyone’s preferences. That’s where my playlists come in handy—I have a variety to fit different moods and themes.

I do ask them for topic suggestions, though. Boundaries is a big one that comes up a lot. We work on identifying physical boundaries and building the strength to say “no.”

Anxiety and stress management are also frequent topics, along with depression. Sometimes, the group gets super specific, but I try to keep things broad and relatable so no one feels left out. I want everyone to feel they belong, no matter their experiences.

Miranda: When you choose the music, do you typically go for instrumental or with lyrics?

Shelby: It depends. Sometimes I’ll ask, “Do you prefer lyrics or instrumental?” and go with a majority vote. I remind them they’ll get through the group either way, and to just breathe through it.

Other times, I’ll choose the music myself and have it playing softly before they even enter. It helps set the tone and creates a welcoming atmosphere.

Some dance movement therapists always have music playing beforehand, while others don’t. Personally, I like giving the group the chance to experience some quiet before we start—it gives them more agency. When they get to participate in those little choices, I notice their eyes light up.

I always make sure the lyrics are clean, of course. Lyrics can be powerful. People often resonate with specific verses or chords. That emotional connection adds another layer of processing. It’s not just about the movement—it’s about making meaningful connections between mind and body.

For me, it’s all about being flexible. Everyone has their own preferences, and I want to make sure the group feels accessible and effective for all.

Miranda:
For a therapist who’s listening to this, who might be thinking, I didn’t go to school for dance movement therapy, but I have a client who would probably really benefit from doing some dancing in sessions, how would you recommend they approach that?

Maybe it’s a good opportunity for grounding, or maybe it’s a chance to help release some anxiety. What recommendations would you have for a therapist who just wants to dip their toes into it and help their clients?

Shelby:
Grounding is the easiest one for me. When I was starting in the dance movement therapy world, it was easier for me to grasp. There are so many ways you can help someone ground through movement—whether that’s small or big.

In dance movement therapy, breath is huge. We want to make sure we’re breathing while we’re moving. But also, if you notice someone starting to hyperventilate, it’s important to take that moment to be there with them.

I like to add an extra layer to breathwork. I don’t just say, “Okay, listen to my voice and breathe in and breathe out.” I want clients to feel their breath. So, I’ll have them place their hands where they’re comfortable. If they’re stomach breathers, I’ll have them place their hands on their stomach to feel the rising and falling. If they breathe more through their ribs, I’ll have them place their hands on the sides of their ribs or on the front and back, so they can really feel the breath happening.

Tapping is another great one. It’s not hugely well-known, but guiding clients through tapping on their wrist, temples, or center of their chest can signal the body that it’s okay. It creates a new sensation to focus on, helping them get grounded.

I also use progressive muscle relaxation—tensing and releasing different muscle groups. When people get anxious, their bodies often tense up, especially in the shoulders and neck. Leading them through some gentle stretching or progressive muscle relaxation can help release that tension.

Another technique I use for grounding is guided visualization. I have clients visualize their safe or peaceful place, walking them through the path to get there. Once they’re there, I have them take a few breaths and then start incorporating movement. I’ll guide them to imagine moving in their peaceful place and begin mirroring that movement in their body.

So, while they’re mentally in their safe place, their physical body is also moving, keeping them present. It’s often a lot of flowing arm movements, especially if they’re sitting down. You’ll see gentle, wave-like motions because they’re regulating themselves.

To bring them back, I’ll say something like, “Okay, let’s bring your hands together. Take a deep breath in, let your arms circle out, and then come back into the present moment.” I’ll ask, “How was it to be in the present moment and grounded at the same time?” And clients are often like, “Whoa, what was that?”

For kids, I’ll do something playful, like patty-cake, to shift their focus and bring in some fun. Sometimes, I’ll use a coping and grounding skill sheet with random body movements and have clients try them out. It gets creative and spontaneous, which can be really effective.

One piece of advice I always share: try it on yourself first. If you have an idea for a grounding technique but aren’t sure how it will feel, practice it yourself before doing it with a client. That way, you have a sense of how it might land and feel more comfortable guiding them through it.

Miranda:
Okay, you’ve given so much good advice—this has been such an awesome episode. I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your personal connection to this work, as well as giving such practical tips for how therapists can start incorporating movement into their sessions.

Any last thoughts or anything you feel we’ve missed about dance movement therapy?

Shelby:
It’s an ever-evolving field. Therapy as a whole is always changing—there’s constant research happening. Dance movement therapy has been around for a long time, but it wasn’t always recognized as evidence-based. Now, we’re seeing more and more research proving its effectiveness.

There are dance movement therapists currently working on applying cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) techniques to dance movement therapy sessions. That way, it can be more easily billable through insurance and provide clients with even greater benefits.

Trauma work has always been a big focus for dance movement therapy, but seeing these additional modalities incorporated is exciting. It makes me think, “Ooh, what does this do for the field moving forward?”

Miranda:
Thank you so much again for joining me, Shelby. This has been such an insightful episode, and I really appreciate you sharing your expertise.

And thank you to everyone listening! I hope this conversation was helpful and inspiring. See you next week!

The post What Is Dance/Movement Therapy? Benefits, Myths, and How It Works appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

What does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system? For a long time, I thought that my nervous system would be regulated whenever I stopped feeling hard emotions. I’ve learned through years of personal and professional work that my belief was wrong. Hard emotions don’t just stop happening.

Nervous system regulation doesn’t exist in the absence of emotions. To experience nervous system regulation means to experience adaptive responses to emotions. When I can feel my emotions, experience, and move through them, without feeling totally overwhelmed and out of control, I know that I am regulated.

Dr. Dan Siegel identified a concept called the window of tolerance. He identified that when individuals are existing within the “optimal zone,” we are able to effectively cope with emotions that arise. Within this window, we are regulated. Our window of tolerance is flexible. It may shrink when we’re experiencing trauma or emotional overload. It can also grow as we develop and use regulation skills and build emotional resilience. When we are operating outside of this window of tolerance, we may be on one of two sides – hyperarousal or hypo arousal.

Hyperarousal vs. Hypo Arousal

If we think of nervous system regulation as a spectrum, then hyperarousal and hypo arousal lie at opposite ends. Different emotions, behaviors, and thinking patterns can indicate which state we might find ourselves experiencing, which can help us better understand ourselves and our needs.

When you think of the word hyper, you may imagine a little kid with a lot of energy. That is also true for the nervous system. When in hyperarousal, the body has a lot of energy and wants to do something. This is why someone experiencing hyperarousal might unexpectedly hit something or snap at a friend.

Symptoms of Hyperarousal

• Emotions like worry, panic, or anger
• Hypervigilance
• Irritability
• Racing heart
• Feeling hot/sweating

Hypoarousal is just the opposite. Think about a cell phone that you’ve set to low power mode. To conserve energy, the phone limits certain functions. Hypo arousal functions very similarly, although it operates subconsciously. When in hypo arousal, the body is attempting to conserve energy for the tasks the body deems most important. This is why a person experiencing hypo arousal might find themselves staring at their phone for hours, unable to start a task.

Symptoms of Hypo Arousal

• Immobilized, feeling stuck
• Fatigue
• Brain fog
• Boredom, indifference, apathy
• Dissociation

Tips for How to Regulate: Nervous System

Nervous system dysregulation can be tough to deal with. Once we realize that we are experiencing hyperarousal or hypo arousal, what do we do to shift back towards regulation? I’m going to share two emotional regulation techniques to help – mindfulness and radical acceptance.

Mindfulness: A Key to Emotional Regulation

Noticing where we are emotionally at any given moment is half the battle – and it can be a hard one!  Mindfulness isn’t about fixing or stopping emotions. It’s about simply noticing; allowing ourselves to witness our emotions with curiosity and non-judgment.

Mindfulness has a rich history, stemming from Eastern religions and spiritual institutions, such as Buddhism. After Jon Kabat-Zinn brought mindfulness to Western society in the 1970s, its popularity has risen throughout the decades to follow. Meditation is one very common form of mindfulness, but it’s not for everyone. That’s okay! There are several other options for those interested in practicing mindfulness – mindful movement, mindful creativity, even mindful eating. The goal of mindfulness is to build self-awareness, which can happen in a variety of contexts.

Mindfulness isn’t necessarily about what we’re doing, it’s about how we’re doing it. When practicing mindfulness, I decide that I’m going to spend time present with myself, not judging whatever emotions, thoughts, and sensations might come up for me.

Radical Acceptance: The Power of Letting Go

One of the ways I practice non-judgment towards myself is by practicing radical acceptance. The term radical acceptance was coined by Marsha Linehan. She describes complete and total acceptance of our reality. If I can be honest here, I struggled with this concept for a long time. It changed for me when I realized that acceptance is not synonymous with like. I can accept that I may be feeling anger, jealousy, anxiety, or any other emotion. That doesn’t mean that I have to like it, and that doesn’t mean that I have to sit in it either.

Linehan said, “You only have to accept the moment you’re in, but you can try to change the next moment.” Radical acceptance does not mean staying stuck. Radical acceptance allows us to embrace our current reality so that we can make the best choices we can moving forward. Pain cannot be avoided, and rejecting or resisting that pain doesn’t help. From my personal experience, acceptance provides a sense of clarity that allows me to work towards a potential solution.

Radical acceptance is a key part of DBT and ACT. A therapist that specializes in ACT or DBT might be a good place to start.

Final Reminder + a Sprinkle of Self-Compassion

Think back to the hypo arousal example. This person is using their phone, unable to start a task. Mindfulness can allow this person to bring their attention to the present moment and their current experience. Being careful not to slip into self-judgment, the person can practice radical acceptance – “I accept that I feel stuck right now. What can I do to feel slightly less stuck in the next moment?” Even the most regulated individuals may slip into hyperarousal or hypo arousal occasionally – it’s all part of the human experience. Regulation is all about our responses and our ability to mindfully shift into adaptive coping strategies.

One of my personal core beliefs is that we are all trying our best at any given moment. And our best often looks different moment to moment and day to day. Sometimes, we have so much space, capacity, and time and on other days, we just don’t. I’ve recently started to slow down and remember that I do my best. It’s okay that my best today might not be as good as my best yesterday. And it’s okay if that’s true for you too. Growth isn’t a straight path.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Nervous System Regulation?

Nervous system regulation refers to the ability to respond to emotions in an adaptive way, rather than becoming overwhelmed by them. It’s all about being able to calm ourselves down when things are overwhelming.

What is the Difference Between Mindfulness and Meditation?

Mindfulness is a state of awareness and non-judgement, exploring one’s thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. To be mindful is to allow thoughts, emotions, and sensations to come up naturally, simply observing and noticing. Meditation is one form of mindfulness, and tends to be a more structured, formal process in which the meditator often focuses on something specific, such as an object, mantra, or the breath.

How Can I Practice Radical Acceptance in Everyday Life?

First, we must notice any resistance we are feeling. Sometimes emotions are not fun to feel, and we resist them. That’s a normal response! That resistance can act as a reminder, telling us to pause, notice, acknowledge, and accept what we are experiencing and feeling.

Let’s use an example. Many of us have found ourselves late to an appointment and stuck in traffic. Often, our response to this might look something like, “I can’t believe this! I’m already so late, I can’t deal with this.” To practice radical acceptance, we can first pause. Then, we can notice the emotions that are coming up, maybe anger, frustration, anxiety, boredom, etc. Once we notice it, we can acknowledge it by saying, “I accept that I’m stuck in traffic. I accept that I feel super frustrated about this situation.”

Okay, I’ve Practiced Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance – Now What?

These are great steps to take, but sometimes they may not feel like enough. Now that you’re feeling a bit more regulated, it’s a good time to focus on self-care. This article provides a great list of self-care activities you may find helpful.

The post Two Simple Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System for Better Mental Health appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Have you ever turned down a vacation because you don’t like flying? Denied a road trip because driving is scary? Heck, maybe you despise going into your basement due to those pesky, freaky spiders! Perhaps you’re like me and threw a book through a bedroom door because a centipede was walking across it (true story, I had to buy a new door and everything)! Fear has a nasty habit of running our lives, but virtual reality exposure therapy is flipping that script.

To make things even more tricky, overcoming fears is hard because to overcome them, you have to face them head on and, often, alone. It’s not like you can take your therapist on a plane, right? Well, that used to be true but now… cue the baller music… Virtual Reality enters the chat!  

Virtual Reality (VR) has been around for a hot minute at this point, but only in recent years has it been a truly viable piece of technology. When most people think of VR, they often think of video games or cheesy experiences that you can have at the Mall of America but at Ellie Mental Health, we have a different perspective. We are using virtual reality therapy as a professional therapeutic tool to help people take back control of otherwise fearful experiences.

What is VR Therapy?

Virtual reality (VR) therapy is a mental health treatment that uses immersive virtual environments to help people process emotions, confront fears, and build coping skills in a controlled setting. Think of it as exposure therapy meets cutting-edge tech—clients can practice real-world situations in a safe, guided way. It’s been used for everything from phobias and PTSD to mindfulness and stress management. As technology evolves, VR is becoming an increasingly accessible and powerful tool in mental health care.

How VR Therapy Works

VR therapy works by immersing clients in a virtual environment tailored to their therapeutic needs. Using a VR headset and handheld controllers, individuals can engage in guided scenarios designed to help them process emotions, confront fears, or practice coping strategies. A therapist customizes the experience, adjusting difficulty levels and providing support in real-time. Because everything happens in a controlled setting, clients can work through challenges at their own pace, with the reassurance that they can pause or step back at any time.

For example, someone with a fear of public speaking might start by standing in a virtual empty room, gradually progressing to speaking in front of a small virtual audience. Over time, the therapist might increase the challenge by adding distractions or a larger crowd, helping the client build confidence and resilience. This step-by-step approach aligns closely with exposure therapy, a well-established method for treating anxiety and phobias. The key difference is that VR therapy offers a safe, repeatable, and fully customizable environment—making exposure more accessible and less intimidating than real-world practice.

Virtual Reality as Therapy for Mental Health Treatment

VR therapy is sometimes called “fear therapy” because of its ability to help people gradually face and overcome anxiety-provoking situations in a safe, controlled way. By immersing clients in realistic yet customizable environments, it’s especially effective for conditions like phobias, PTSD, and social anxiety. But its usefulness goes beyond fear! VR is also being used for mindfulness, stress management, and even pain reduction in therapy. The next sections explore how VR therapy is transforming mental health treatment across different areas.

VR for PTSD

Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy is helpful for PTSD and healing from past traumas. By immersing clients in controlled virtual environments that simulate aspects of their traumatic experiences, VR therapy allows them to gradually confront distressing memories in a safe, guided way. It follows the same principles as traditional exposure therapy but adds an interactive, immersive element that can make the process feel more manageable and engaging.

Research backs up its effectiveness. One study found that VRET significantly reduced PTSD symptoms, with some participants no longer meeting the criteria for diagnosis after treatment. Another 2024 study showed that combining VR exposure with brain stimulation led to even greater improvements, especially for military veterans, and had higher efficacy rates than traditional exposure therapy.

VR for Phobias

Whether it’s a fear of flying, heights, spiders, or public speaking, VR lets clients interact with their specific phobia in a virtual setting while their therapist guides them through the process. Because it’s customizable and repeatable, clients can ease into exposure at their own pace without the pressure of real-world consequences.

And the research backs it up. This article reviewed studies that compared VR therapy and traditional exposure therapy, and it found that VR therapy is just as effective for treating phobias, with some studies suggesting it might even have extra benefits. Another study found that people with social phobia saw significant, lasting improvements after VR therapy. As VR keeps evolving, it’s making exposure therapy more accessible—and maybe even a little less intimidating.

VR for Anxiety Disorders

Virtual reality isn’t just effective for phobias and trauma. Recent studies also show VR’s effectiveness with anxiety. A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Medical Internet Research found that VR found significant improvements in symptoms for people with severe anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Additionally, a systematic review indicated that self-guided VR interventions effectively reduced symptoms of social anxiety disorder, public speaking anxiety, and specific phobias, with positive user experiences and low attrition rates. These findings suggest that VR therapy offers an effective approach to anxiety treatment.

VR for Depression

As therapists are using VR therapy more and more with clients, we are seeing its effectiveness across different diagnoses, including depression. VR therapy immerses individuals in interactive environments that promote mood improvement and coping strategies. Through guided virtual experiences, patients can practice mindfulness, reframe negative thoughts, and engage in activities that boost motivation.

Research supports its effectiveness. One particular study from 2019 found that VR interventions can help reduce depressive symptoms by translating CBT techniques (like psychoeducation and cognitive restructuring) into virtual reality experiences.

The Benefits of Virtual Reality Therapy

1. Controlled Environment
2. Controlled Exposure
3. Personalized Treatment

1. Controlled Environment

As previously discussed, VR therapy offers a level of control that traditional exposure therapy can’t. In real-world settings, variables are unpredictable—VR allows therapists to adjust intensity, ensuring a gradual, personalized approach. This control allows for a more gradual, personalized approach.

Clients appreciate that they can start with lower-intensity exposures and work their way up at their own pace, reducing the risk of being retraumatized or overwhelmed. VR also ensures consistency—each session replicates the exact scenario needed, something that’s nearly impossible to guarantee in real life. This makes exposure therapy more accessible, flexible, and tailored to each person’s unique needs.

2. Controlled Exposure

VR therapy gives therapists and clients more control over the exposure process, making it a safer and more adaptable approach than traditional exposure therapy. In real-world settings, exposure can be unpredictable—clients might face unexpected triggers or overwhelming situations. With VR, therapists can tailor the experience, adjusting intensity and pacing to match the client’s comfort level.

This level of control allows for gradual, repeatable exposure without the risk of overstimulation. Clients can build confidence at their own pace, knowing they won’t be thrown into a situation they’re not ready for. It also ensures consistency, making progress easier to track and refine over time.

3. Personalized Treatment

With the controlled environment therapists are able to offer highly personalized treatment, adapting exposure to each client’s specific needs and progress. Therapists can adjust factors like intensity, duration, and specific triggers, ensuring a gradual and manageable approach. This flexibility helps clients build confidence at their own pace while minimizing distress, making treatment more effective and tailored to individual goals.

VR Therapy with Ellie Mental Health

Virtual Reality (VR) has been around for a hot minute at this point, but only in recent years has it been a truly viable piece of technology.

At Ellie Mental Health, we’re using virtual reality as a professional therapeutic tool to help people take back control of otherwise fearful experiences. 

In creating the VRT program at Ellie, we pulled over 30 peer-reviewed research papers from the last 5 years.

Our process is based on Systematic Desensitization and evidence-based Exposure Response Prevention methods. This includes creating what we call a SUDS (Subjective Units of Discomfort Scale) Ladder. Meaning, we determine a series of steps that are increasingly more distressing and work our way through it.

Intrigued? Virtual reality therapy is seriously amazing! Learn more about VRT with Ellie Mental Health.

The post Virtual Reality Therapy and its Mental Health Benefits appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

Whether you’re navigating big emotions, trying to improve your relationships, or just looking for better ways to handle stress, DBT has tools that can help. And the best part? These skills aren’t just for therapy sessions; they’re meant to be used in everyday life.

In this post, we’ll break down the key components of DBT and how you can start using them right away. No complicated jargon, just practical strategies you can put into action.

Listen to our podcast episode about DBT here:

What is DBT, and How Does It Work?

DBT is a structured, skill-based therapy designed to help people regulate emotions, tolerate distress, communicate effectively, and stay present in the moment. Originally developed for individuals with borderline personality disorder (it’s founder was actually diagnosed with BPD and created it based on what works for her!), DBT has since proven to be incredibly effective for a wide range of mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and trauma.

So, why do people love DBT? Because it’s practical. You walk away from each session with concrete skills and tools you can practice when life throws curveballs.

The Four Core Skills of DBT

DBT is built around four core areas:

1. Mindfulness: Becoming More Present

“Mindfulness is not meditation, it’s the act of being in the moment.” Shelby Finley shares on our DBT podcast episode. Mindfulness is about paying attention to what’s happening, but without getting caught up in judgment or distractions.

Think of it as mental decluttering: giving your brain some breathing room so you can respond to situations with clarity instead of reacting impulsively.

2. Distress Tolerance: Handling Tough Moments

Life is full of stressful situations. Distress tolerance skills help you ride out emotional storms when you’re in crisis or feeling like your anxiety is at a 10.

Our favorite go-to distress tolerance technique? The TIPP Method:

• Temperature change (splash cold water on your face, hold an ice cube, taking a cold shower)
• Intense exercise (jumping jacks, running up stairs, anything to burn off excess energy)
• Paced breathing (slow, deep breaths)
• Progressive muscle relaxation (muscle relaxation)

These simple strategies can help calm your nervous system and bring you back to calm.

3. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Communicating Without the Drama

This portion of DBT is all about teaching effective communication. Everyone struggles at times with getting their needs met and being vulnerable about what you need at times…. DBT helps you recognize what you need and express yourself clearly and assertively without bulldozing others and damaging relationships.

Think of it as learning to say, “Hey, I need this,” without guilt or unnecessary apologizing (seriously, you don’t need to say sorry for existing).

Shelby shared in the podcast interview: “Your needs are valid and your needs are acceptable. Someone who may think they have borderline personality disorder or traits may think, ‘There’s something wrong with me.’ And typically they’ve been told that throughout their life and made to feel that way.” DBT helps you communicate effectively and, if needed, to find radical acceptance when others can’t meet your needs.

4. Emotion Regulation: Managing Feelings Before They Manage You

Emotions are a normal part of being human, but they don’t have to dictate your entire day. Emotion regulation skills help you recognize, understand, and manage your feelings in a healthy way—so you’re not stuck in a cycle of emotional overwhelm.

Another popular DBT tool is called “Check the Facts” (because sometimes our emotions are based on assumptions rather than reality). Ask yourself:

• What happened? (Stick to the facts, no assumptions.)
• Is there evidence supporting my thoughts?
• Is there evidence against my thoughts?

Taking a step back to assess what’s actually happening can help you respond more effectively and not act impulsively.

How to Start Using DBT in Everyday Life

The beauty of DBT is that you don’t need a PhD in psychology to start using it. There are tons of books, worksheets, and online resources to help you practice these skills. Even small changes like taking a mindful breath before reacting to a stressful situation can make a difference.

If you want more personalized guidance, working with a therapist trained in DBT can help you integrate these skills in a way that fits your specific needs.

Final Thoughts

DBT isn’t just a therapy framework– it’s a toolbox full of skills. Whether you’re struggling with big emotions, tricky relationships, or just want to feel more in control of your responses, these skills can help.

If you’re curious to learn more, talk to a therapist who specializes in DBT by finding a location near you. The skills are out there, and they’re worth exploring.

The post Discovering the Power of DBT: The Four Core Skills appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

There’s a spectrum of mental health care levels available to you, and today we’ll be taking a closer look at an option for those who may need more than regular outpatient clinic visits: intensive outpatient programs.

What Is an Intensive Outpatient Mental Health Program?

An intensive outpatient program for mental health is a structured treatment program that provides mental health services such as therapy, and care for people who require a more intensive treatment plan but don’t require the constant supervision provided during a stay at a residential psychiatric facility – as is common with inpatient treatment. This structure helps to provide a holistic approach to care while allowing those in treatment to carry on with their daily lives.

How Do IOPs Differ from Other Treatment Programs?

Figuring out the right level of mental health treatment can feel overwhelming, especially with so many options out there. Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs) land somewhere in the middle—more structured and frequent than traditional outpatient therapy but not as intensive as a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) or inpatient care. If you’re wondering how IOPs stack up against these other options, let’s break it down in a way that makes sense.

Outpatient Therapy

Outpatient therapy is what most people think of when they picture mental health treatment—regular (usually weekly or biweekly) sessions with a therapist, either in person or through telehealth, without a major time commitment. It’s a great option for people dealing with mild to moderate mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, or substance use concerns, who don’t need intensive supervision. This might include traditional talk therapy,  Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), or other therapy modalities. 

The flexibility of outpatient therapy allows people to continue working, going to school, and managing daily responsibilities while receiving professional support. For most people, it’s an important part of mental wellness, helping to build coping skills, process emotions, and create lasting change without interrupting your life.

Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP)

If IOPs are a step up, Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHPs) are more like a big jump—without completely leaving behind daily life. PHPs offer intensive treatment for those with serious mental health or substance use concerns, but unlike inpatient care, participants go home at the end of the day. This can also help them maintain some connection to their everyday lives while working toward stabilization and recovery.

PHPs typically run five to seven days a week for several hours a day and include a mix of individual and group therapy, plus medication management. These programs are ideal for those who need more structured care due to severe depression, anxiety, or substance use disorders but don’t require 24/7 supervision. The focus is on stabilization and skill-building, helping individuals transition to a lower level of care when they’re ready. The group therapy portions may include support, process, or psychoeducation groups, so attendees are frequently a part of several types of groups.

Inpatient Care

Inpatient care is the most intensive level of treatment, designed for individuals in crisis who need round-the-clock supervision. This level of care is essential for those experiencing suicidal thoughts, psychosis, severe withdrawal symptoms, or other mental health emergencies that require immediate intervention.

Unlike outpatient or PHP programs, inpatient treatment involves staying in a hospital or residential facility for a period of time—typically ranging from a few days to a few weeks. Treatment includes medication management, crisis intervention, individual and group therapy, and close monitoring to ensure safety and stabilization. The goal of inpatient care is to provide immediate support in a secure environment, helping individuals regain stability before transitioning to a lower level of care.

What Mental Health Issues Do Intensive Outpatient Programs Treat?

IOPs are commonly used to treat moderate to severe mental health issues like:

• Depression
• Anxiety disorders
• Substance abuse 
• Eating disorders
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

What Are the Benefits of a Mental Health IOP?

One of the overall benefits of an IOP for is that it allows for a more comprehensive approach to mental health care. Additional benefits of an IOP for mental health include:

• Access to professional and peer support
• Highly-structured, individualized treatment plans
• Flexibility to maintain day-to-day responsibilities
• Access to medication management
• More cost-effective than inpatient treatment

What to Expect From a Mental Health IOP

Typically, an IOP for mental health lasts eight to 12 weeks but can be modified to fit the individual needs of a patient. 

An IOP can include a variety of therapies. The specific treatments and therapies used will vary depending on individual needs, but often include some combination of the following:

Intake Assessments

An IOP for mental health includes an intake assessment to diagnose mental health conditions, identify potentially overlapping conditions, and establish a baseline for monitoring progress.

Individual Therapy

Regular one on one therapy sessions are a foundational element of an IOP. These are used to address specific mental health concerns, probe into underlying issues, and develop personalized treatment goals. The format of these sessions can vary between treatment centers, but approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and client-centered therapy are commonly used.

Group Therapy

Another core therapeutic approach during a mental health IOP is that group therapy sessions offer an opportunity to explore mental health issues with a group facing similar challenges. This can help provide new perspectives, greater accountability, camaraderie, and a feeling of support from others in a similar position as well as introduce new coping strategies.

“Group therapy is an important element of an IOP because it encourages clients to practice vulnerability by sharing with others as well as giving and receiving feedback,” says Dr. Robyn Janssen, Senior Director of National Clinical Programs at Ellie Mental Health. “The benefits of this approach include the development of communication and social skills, reducing feelings of isolation, having opportunities to learn from others, and growing a sense of belonging or relatability through sharing common experiences.”

Medication Management

A mental health IOP provides an ideal opportunity to get prescription medications fine-tuned with the help of a healthcare provider during regular check-ins. This can help patients minimize unwanted side effects and find the right dosage and medication combinations, in turn making it easier to stick to a medication regimen.

Holistic Interventions

While IOP therapy and medication-related efforts may immediately come to mind, these programs provide an opportunity to build healthy habits with holistic early intervention services. This can come in a variety of forms, whether that’s developing an effective meditation routine, finding ways to improve your overall nutrition, encouraging mindfulness activities, or identifying positive self-care opportunities throughout your day.

“These holistic efforts supplement therapy sessions by being practical skills you can use at home or work when needed,” Dr. Janssen explains.

Education

Intensive outpatient treatment will also typically include several opportunities for educating patients and their loved ones. Information about mental health conditions, symptoms, treatment options, and strategies for managing the condition is provided. These education efforts can help reduce stigma, develop additional buy-in for treatment plans, and empower patients and families.

“It is incredibly important to provide education to both clients and families during an IOP,” Dr. Janssen says. “When families know what is helpful, they can then encourage the client to utilize these coping skills at home–which helps them maintain the progress they’ve made.”

Comprehensive Case Management

The road to keeping acute mental health challenges managed is long and ongoing and certainly doesn’t stop after the completion of an IOP. 

Comprehensive case management, including relapse prevention and aftercare planning efforts, is an important part of setting the stage for those next steps – and this could also include residential treatment programs. Case managers will help you get connected with providers, schedule appointments and navigate the complexities of care and insurance coverage. Dr. Janssen shares these efforts as an important piece of the puzzle as they help support the progress made by clients and provide a structured path back to a less-intensive outpatient level of care.

With this holistic mix of services, an IOP provides a comprehensive toolkit for getting on track with long-term mental health treatment.

How Can Friends and Family Support Patients in a Mental Health IOP?

Support is an important factor for anyone undergoing a challenging time in their life, and friends and family members should expect to take an active role during–and after–their loved one enters a mental health IOP in the following ways:

• Attend family therapy sessions
• Educate themselves about their loved one’s diagnosis
• Learn about coping skills that their loved one has identified as helpful
• Discuss specific ways that their loved one needs support
• Participate in after-care planning
• Attend their own therapy or support groups for families

While in an IOP, friends and family members may be asked to join in educational sessions as well as family therapy sessions.

“In family therapy sessions, friends and family members can receive psycho-education about the client’s diagnosis, learn about coping skills that the client identified as helpful, and learn and discuss specific ways they can support their loved one,” Dr. Janssen says.

With aftercare planning and an established and invested support group, the transition to life post-IOP becomes more manageable. This can help with relapse prevention and keeping on track with treatment options.

Is an Intensive Outpatient Program Right for Me?

Entering into an IOP for mental health issues is a substantial undertaking, so how do you know if this step is right for you or others in your life? This is a question that’s ultimately best answered through discussion between a patient, their family and their mental health provider. That said, there are some general criteria that can help you determine if outpatient services are a good fit:

Presence of a moderate to severe mental health condition that significantly impacts daily function.

• The ability to lead a generally stable life at home without 24-hour supervision and support.
• A need for structured treatment and routine.
• A safe and stable living environment that does not jeopardize an IOP’s effectiveness.
• A desire to participate, stay engaged, and grow.

Another common trigger for entry into an IOP is experiencing what’s known as a “first psychotic episode.” A first psychotic episode is simply the first time someone experiences the acute symptoms of psychosis like hallucinations, paranoia, delusions, and disorganized thinking. While these symptoms may have subsided somewhat since the initial episode, following up with entry into an IOP is an established and effective way to intervene and ultimately manage what may be serious mental health disorders.

Taking prompt action after a first psychotic episode allows providers and others within a mental health services administration to take action quickly, and assess and diagnose what may have triggered the episode. From there, they have the ability to prescribe medications for symptom management and gradually build and reinforce healthy lifelong habits through therapy sessions, which if adhered to can greatly limit the potential damage caused by untreated moderate to severe mental health disorders.

“An IOP provides a structured and supportive short-term intervention for someone who has experienced a psychotic episode,” Dr. Janssen says. “Providing symptom stabilization, identification of coping skills, relapse prevention planning, and getting resources in place for longer-term treatment will help them get back to previous activities like work or school.”

Taking the Next Step

Living–and thriving–with a moderate to severe mental illness is possible with the right support structure in place. Entering an intensive outpatient program, while no small step, is often the best option for getting that structure in place without committing to time in a residential psychiatric treatment facility. If you believe you or a loved one would benefit from an intensive outpatient program, the compassionate professionals at Ellie Mental Health can help guide you through your treatment options.

You can take that first step by learning more about Ellie’s IOPs

The post What is an IOP in Mental Health and How Does it Work? appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

When I first dipped my toes into MI training, I found myself in a training with doctors, vets, nurses, dietitians…you name it. This just goes to show that it doesn’t matter what your 9-5 looks like, MI can help sprinkle some magic in your professional relations and hey, even give a little zing to your personal life.

So, buckle up pals, ’cause we’re about to dive into what Motivational Interviewing is all about. In this post, we’re going to explore the essence of Motivational Interviewing, demystify its core components, and show how it might be useful for therapists and non-therapists alike.

What is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational Interviewing is a therapeutic style designed to help individuals overcome ambivalence about change. Contrary to modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Somatic Experiencing, MI is non-confrontational and focuses on evoking the participant’s own motivation. It’s not solely a therapy; it’s a way of engaging someone in an open and empathetic dialogue and helping them in making decisions aligned with their values.

Initially developed by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the 1980s, MI was aimed at helping clients that were struggling with substance use disorders and feeling ambivalent about whether or not to quit their substance use. However, its application has broadened significantly over time, encompassing a variety of professional and personal situations.

The Spirit of Motivational Interviewing

“Spirit of MI” concept emphasizes partnership, acceptance, compassion, and evocation, steering away from the expert-patient dynamic towards a more equal relationship. To put simply: we’re accompanying someone on their decision-making journey rather than telling them what to do.

Four Principles of Motivational Interviewing

1. Engaging and Building Rapport

Establish a safe, supportive environment where individuals feel heard. Whether you’re a teacher or a manager, developing a level of trust is crucial.

2. Focusing

Identify and prioritize the key issues from the individual’s perspective. This process involves honing in on specific areas that might require change.

3. Evoking

Encourage the expression of the individual’s own reasons for change. This involves listening for “change talk vs. sustain talk,” which hints at the person’s motivation to alter their behavior.

4. Planning

Once the person is ready, collaboratively develop a detailed, actionable plan to guide them toward their goals.

Change Talk vs Sustain Talk in Motivational Interviewing

I think one of the most powerful lessons in MI is to be listening for how someone is talking about a possible change. For example, if someone is saying: “I should probably quit smoking,” you know that they have probably spent some time thinking about this decision, want to make that choice, and maybe just need some extra push towards it. We would call this “change talk.”

Another thing to listen to is “sustain talk”: this is when someone is talking about or using language that argues for keeping the status quo.

Examples of Sustain Talk

Sustain talk signals that perhaps the person isn’t ready for change quite yet. They might say things like:

• “I’ve tried ____ before and it didn’t work for me.”
• “I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
• “Smoking helps me relax.”
• “Drinking is the main way I have fun.”
• “I don’t think my exercise habits need to change.”
• “I don’t think things are bad enough.”

Examples of Change Talk

Change talk shows us that this person is further along in the “stages of change.” They’re either thinking about making changes in their life or making plans to do it eventually.

• “I want to be healthier.”
• “I’ve thought about _____.”
• “I really wish I could feel less _____.”
• “I need to quit _____.”
• “I should probably ____ less.”
• “If I were home more, I would probably have a better relationship with my partner.”
• “It’s important to be to be a role model for my kids.”
• “I am trying to drink less this week.”

So where do you go from here? You elicit and explore that change talk, and OARS is a great acronym of tools to help you get started.

OARS: A Toolkit for Motivational Dialogue

The acronym OARS represents four core communication skills in Motivational Interviewing:

Using open-ended questions in MI

These types of questions move beyond simple “yes” or “no” answers. These questions encourage get people thinking and encourage them to share more.

Instead of asking something like, “Do you want to quit smoking?” (which just gets you a yes or no), you could ask, “What’s been on your mind about quitting smoking?” This kind of question encourages someone to think and talk about their feelings, motivations, and goals. It’s amazing how much insight you can gain just by asking the right kind of question.

Using Affirmations in MI

Affirmations are little gems of encouragement. They’re about pointing out someone’s strengths or acknowledging their progress or efforts, and they can go a long way in boosting confidence.  As Dr. Polley says, “Part of the process of making change is a person has to believe in their ability to do things.”

Examples of an affirmations is: “You’ve been honest about your struggles, and that kind of self-awareness is an important step forward.”

Using Reflections in MI

Reflective listening involves mirroring back what you’ve heard. It’s about letting them know you’re really listening and that you understand where they’re coming from. For instance, if someone says, “I want to exercise more, but I just don’t have time,” you might respond with, “Sounds like you’re feeling torn—you care about your health, but your schedule feels overwhelming.” This helps people feel heard and often gets them to dig a little deeper into their own

Using Summaries in MI

Summaries are a way to pull everything together and show someone the bigger picture.  They helps consolidate what’s been discussed, reinforcing the change talk, and letting the person see their own words reflected back. Dr. Polley describes it like picking a bouquet of flowers:

“Think of a summary as though you’re walking through a wildflower garden and you’re going to build a bouquet. You walk through and keep your eye out for flowers that you think are pretty, for the colors that you like, for the vibe of the bouquet that you’re trying to go for. You don’t just, like, grab up all the flowers and then hand them to the person, right?

You’re careful, you’re deliberate about what you’re choosing. And then you’re creating this beautiful bouquet to give back to the person… The idea being that you’re emphasizing change talk in your summary.”

Example: You might say, “So, there are a lot of things you like about smoking marijuana. You’re having more issues with focusing and you’re wondering if your ADHD medication is interacting with the marijuana or if your ADHD is getting worse, and you’ve recognized it negatively impacts your relationship with your mom.”

Dr. Polley also highlights that it’s key to put the “sustain talk” at the beginning of the summary and end with the “change talk.” People naturally respond to what was said last, so it either evokes more change talk or helps explore the ambivalence.

Motivational Interviewing Basics Video and Examples:

Applying Motivational Interviewing in the “Real World”

For the non-therapist, MI can be an empowering way to guide discussions about personal growth. Here are a few ways MI principles might be integrated into everyday roles:

Managers

Engaging employees in career planning, talking about goals and barriers.

Parents

Using MI to guide teens through difficult decisions, offering them a safe space to express doubts and explore solutions.

Educators

Applying MI to support students in setting priorities and building confidence in their academic pursuits.

Dieticians

Using MI to help patients make dietary or nutritional changes.

Doctors

Discussing decisions healthcare changes like smoking cessation or addressing chronic issues.

Nurses

Supporting patients in exploring their health goals and fostering motivation for positive behavior changes, like for medication adherence or lifestyle improvements.

Motivational Interviewing allows anyone to help others navigate challenges with empathy and collaboration. By focusing on listening, understanding, and guiding rather than just telling someone what to do, MI empowers others make positive changes in their lives.

PS. Motivational interviewing is also a helpful tool for your marriage or in-law relationships too.

Anyone Can Do Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing may appear complicated at first glance, but its core principles are actually simple and useful. By focusing on partnership, active listening, and the OARS tools, MI creates an effective framework for change (while not taking away the person’s autonomy) Whether in the workplace, at school, or at home with your kids, employing motivational interviewing techniques can lead to more productive interactions. If you haven’t listened to the full podcast episode on MI, I recommend you start there, but then check out MI role play videos on YouTube—I find those to be a helpful way to see it in action and to learn more.

Are you struggling with some big life changes or decisions? Find a therapist at Ellie that specializes in Motivational Interviewing.

The post Motivational Interviewing: A Guide for Anyone appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

In this post, we’ll explore some common reasons for ending therapy, how to approach the conversation with your therapist, and tips for finding the right fit in the future. Remember, advocating for your mental health is always the priority, and seeking a better match is a step forward, not a step back.

Not sure how to find the right therapist for your unique needs? FInd a location and get matched with the right therapist for you today!

Breaking Up With Your Therapist: Common Reasons and What to Say

Sometimes I hear people say “oh I tried therapy before and it didn’t work for me” and too often the reason comes down to the therapist they were matched with. Every therapist has their own style, and there are over fifty different kinds of therapy frameworks. Sometimes when we have a bad therapy experience, it has more to do with these factors and less to do with whether therapy can work for you. 

These are some comment reasons I see clients feeling ready to find a new therapist:

• You don’t feel a connection with your therapist
• Your therapist isn’t listening to you
• You’re unhappy with the level of progress
• Your boundaries aren’t being respected
• Your therapist is dismissive or judgmental
• You’ve progressed beyond what your therapist can offer

Now you’ve identified you’re ready to “break up” with your therapist, let’s dive into some what to say or do.

You Don’t Feel a Connection with Your Therapist

Therapist fit is CRUCIAL to therapy progress. If you don’t vibe with your therapist, feel judged, or feel like they don’t have experience in what you’re identified issue is, it can get in the way of your movement forward.

You might not feel the connection right away– therapy can feel awkward at first– but if after a few sessions you’re still not feeling like it’s the right fit, then switching therapists is the next step. You could say, “I’ve appreciated these last few sessions, but this isn’t feeling like a great fit. Thanks for your time.” You’re not going to hurt their feelings; they want you to find that perfect fit too. 

Therapists will usually offer a ‘termination session’ to process the work you’ve done together and say goodbye, but it’s not required. Know that this is something you can ask for if you’d like closure!

Your Therapist Isn’t Listening to You

The whole purpose of therapy is for your therapist to listen and help you navigate your identified problem (anxiety, trauma, depression, relationship issues, etc.). If you don’t feel like they’re listening, you might be feeling like you’re not processing the issues or getting anywhere in your treatment. 

This might come down to individual therapist style and this might be a good opportunity to look for a therapist that works from a different framework or simply has different skills. An easy thing to say might be, “I’ve been thinking about trying a different therapy style. Do you recommend other frameworks that might be a good fit for my diagnosis?” or “I’ve liked working with you, but I think I need a therapist that is more ‘person-centered,’ so I’ll be canceling future appointments. “Person centered” A.K.A. “Rogerian therapy” is a framework that emphasizes clients discovering their own solutions and working on their own self-awareness.

You’re Unhappy with the Level of Progress

Your therapist should have regular check-ins on your treatment plan, goals, and progress. If you’re feeling like treatment isn’t going anywhere, perhaps ask to revisit some of the goals. Keep in mind that progress can take time, but it’s also possible that you’d make more progress with a different therapist or different type of modality. 

You could say something like, “I’m feeling discouraged by the amount of progress that we’re making. Do you have feedback for me or suggestions for a different type of therapy?” If you feel heard or reassured, then perhaps it’s worth sticking it out for a few more sessions. If you feel like they were defensive, dismissive, or don’t have ideas, perhaps it’s time to look into other therapist options.

Your Boundaries Aren’t Being Respected

I see this most often when people aren’t ready to open up about certain topics. If you feel like your therapist is continually pushing boundaries after you have expressed you’re not ready to explore certain topics or skills you’re not ready to practice, it’s understandable if you’re feeling disrespected. Your therapist should challenge you, but not push you to the point of frustration.

Perhaps in this scenario you might say something like, “I am frustrated by this pushing and I’m wondering if we’re not a good fit together for this reason.” Of course, you don’t owe a therapist any explanation and it’s fine for you to also just say something like, “I’ve decided to work with another therapist moving forward. Thank you for your help up to this point.”

Your Therapist Is Dismissive or Judgmental

You should never feel dismissed or judged in your therapy– it’s hard to make any progress under those circumstances.

If you’d like to be straightforward and share how they made you feel, you might refer to a time you felt judged: “I was thrown and felt judged when I told you [insert situation] and you reacted [this way]. I’ve decided to find a therapist that I feel more comfortable with.” Otherwise, a simple cancellation or more vagueness is fine too.

One of my colleagues shared: “This might be an unpopular opinion… but if you don’t feel like you want to say something to them directly, it’s totally fine to just cancel your appointments. They’re professionals and you don’t owe them any sort of explanation or reason. Just please don’t no-show!”

You’ve Progressed Beyond What Your Therapist Can Offer

Therapists are trained or specialize in various tools or modalities. This means that some therapists might be better fits based on your diagnosis or problem. Perhaps you’re interested in other therapy frameworks and you’d like to work with someone else– that is understandable!

One of my colleagues said: “I recently had a client tell me that she wanted to try EMDR, which is a different type of therapy that I’m not trained in. I was really proud of her for letting me know this, and I was able to refer her to a colleague that specializes in that.”

Is It Okay to Break Up with Your Therapist Over Text or Email?

This totally depends on your comfort level. If you’ve been working together for awhile and you’d like to say goodbye or process some of the work you’ve done, I think it’s nice to talk about switching therapists directly. 

If that seems awkward, it’s totally fine to send an email and let them know you’d like to cancel appointments moving forward or ask for a referral to another therapist. You could say something like, “It was nice to meet you, but I’m hoping for a therapist that has more experience in [insert issue or goal]. Do you have any therapists you’d recommend?” 

One of my colleagues shared: “This is YOUR therapy. Do whatever feels most comfortable for you. Personally, I would simply send an email expressing gratitude for our past work, but explaining my decision to explore working with a different therapist or to take a break– could be something like, ‘I have appreciated the work we’ve done together, but I think I’m going to go in a different direction at this point.’ Just please don’t no-show!”

The benefit of seeing a therapist at a large network like Ellie is that there are plenty of options if you haven’t found the right fit quite yet.

How to Process a Bad Therapy Experience

If you’re still recovering from a negative or even painful therapy experience, it can help to reflect on what went wrong. As you process and learn from the experience, ask yourself these questions: 

What Were Your Expectations Going into Therapy?

If this was your first time going to the therapist, it’s likely you came to your first session with certain expectations – about therapy, mental illness, and psychiatric medication. These expectations can be shaped by what you’ve read about therapy, what others have told you about their experiences, or even TV and books. It can be startling if your therapist interacts with you in a way that is very different from what you expected. 

Did Your Therapist Do Something Ethically Wrong?

Therapists are human too. And while we know that most people who choose to become therapists do so with the intention and desire to help others, this doesn’t describe everyone in the profession. It can be very upsetting if you had a therapist who crossed boundaries, handled your confidential information poorly, gave dishonest information about their background, or mishandled your money.

Did You Feel Uncomfortable or Judged by Your Therapist?

In a healthy therapeutic relationship, the goal is that you feel comfortable enough with your therapist to confide in them and entrust them with your care. If you just can’t cross this barrier then breaking up with your therapist could be a wise choice. However, this doesn’t mean you’ll never find a therapist you connect with and feel you can trust. And it also helps to recognize that therapy isn’t always comfortable. Getting deep and sharing the traumatic, dark, shameful things you hold inside can be painful, even if it encourages growth and healing in the long run.

Was Your Therapist a Poor Fit?

Your old therapist might have been a friendly, qualified, all-around great therapist. But they need to be the right fit for you. Maybe you feel more comfortable working with a therapist that has a similar background to you – which can mean they are the same gender, religion, or race. Maybe you need a therapist that specializes in a specific type of therapy or in treating specific conditions or issues. For example, if you are seeing a therapist for processing trauma, finding a therapist who can provide EMDR might be beneficial for your treatment plan.

Why Finding the Right Therapist Is So Important 

Several studies have concluded that one of the most important factors in determining the success of therapy is the therapeutic relationship. While a therapist’s experience level and education background are important to consider, at the end of the day, finding a therapist that you like and have a great relationship with is one the most important indicators that your time spent in therapy will actually help you. 

How Long Should I Try Out a New Therapist?

Finding a new therapist that’s right for your unique background, personality, and needs can take some time. It’s okay if the first few tries are no-gos. You need to make sure the vibe is right, and if you still don’t feel comfortable with your new therapist after the first few sessions – some people say four sessions is the magic number – it’s time to continue your search to avoid hurting your progress.

What Determines a Good Therapeutic Relationship?

A good relationship with a therapist, often called a “therapeutic alliance,” is thought to be built on several core aspects. These include: 

Collaboration

A therapy session shouldn’t feel like a lecture. You and your therapist are on this journey together. From defining goals to finding solutions, you should feel on equal grounds and play an active role in the therapy process. 

Trust

Clients who don’t trust their therapist might withhold information or lie about feelings or “homework” completion. Part of this is because most people struggle with being vulnerable. If you and your therapist set a goal and you fall short of that benchmark, you might feel embarrassed. You might also struggle to trust your therapist won’t judge you for certain feelings or actions. However, if you build a relationship with a therapist that you come to trust and feel comfortable with, you’re more likely to confide in them. This only allows your therapist to provide you the best care possible.  

Flexibility

It might be difficult to find a therapist just like you. While you might feel you need to find a therapist that matches your race, gender, sexual orientation, political party, and religious beliefs, that’s not necessarily the case. On one hand, finding a therapist that shares a similar background or values as you can be comforting and make it easier to connect. However, many therapists are empathetic and skilled at tailoring their treatment to specific backgrounds and treatment needs. 

Resolve

The likelihood is that there are going to be rough patches in your relationship with your therapist. Your therapist is human after all, and they might not always understand your feelings or give the response you were hoping for. Since issues, big or small, are unavoidable in therapy, a therapeutic relationship can be strengthened by addressing those issues and working through them. 

Finding the Courage to Begin Again 

Starting a new relationship after a messy breakup is scary. We invest a lot of time, effort, and emotion in building new relationships and hope for the best. So when they fail, it can take a lot of courage to try again. 

It’s the same with finding a new therapist. Your mental health is so important to your overall well-being. If you’ve been struggling with chronic stress, anxiety, depression, PTSD, a personality disorder, or any other mental health issue, it can feel like some deep, dark secret you hold on to. Over time, mental illness may become so rooted in your life that it becomes your identity. Reaching out for help and sharing that struggle with someone else can be one of the hardest things you ever choose to do. 

Of course, you want it to work out the first time around. No one wants to make that daunting first step toward recovery only to be let down, but having the courage to try again is worth it. With therapy, you can find the resources, guidance, and medical expertise necessary to live a full life without feeling like you’re constantly carrying a mental illness on your shoulders. 

Get Matched With a Therapist That’s Just the Right Fit 

At Ellie Mental Health, we want you to experience the freedom that comes with finally being able to let go, learn to love yourself, and grow with a therapist that really gets you. We understand the heartbreak and frustration that comes with a bad therapy experience or unsuccessful treatment. We know it’s a big ask, but please, please, please give therapy another try! 

To help mitigate the stress that comes with finding a new therapist, we’re here to help you find just the right match. Our Client Access Team will take the time to get to know you – and we mean really get to know you. We go beyond the whole “give your name and email” process and will take time to figure out what you need and want from a therapist. From here, our CATs will pair you with the right provider. It’s like a really great dating site but for finding a therapist – we’ll do the “fun” matchmaking work for you so that you end up with a provider that checks all the right boxes. 

Ready to let our expert therapist-client matchmakers get to work? Find a location and get matched with the right therapist for you today!

The post How to Break Up with Your Therapist and Begin Again appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

In this blog post, I’m excited to share a list of children’s books that tackle many of these topics head-on. Whether you’re a parent looking to support your little one or a fellow therapist seeking resources for your practice, these stories are perfect for guiding kids in navigating their emotions and learning to manage them in a healthy way.

Please note that many of these books are affiliate links if you click on the title!

Kids Books About Anxiety

Worries and anxiety can be tough for kids to handle, but the good news is that there are some fantastic books out there to help them navigate these feelings! This list features stories and guides designed to support children ages 3 to 12 as they learn to manage their worries and understand their emotions. Each book offers relatable characters and situations that show kids they’re not alone in their feelings and provide practical tips for coping.

• “The Worrysaurus” by Rachel Bright
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  A story about a little dinosaur who learns to manage his worries by focusing on the present moment.

• “What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety” by Dawn Huebner
  Age Range: 6-12 years
  A workbook-style guide that helps children understand and work through their anxiety.

• “Ruby Finds a Worry” by Tom Percival
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  This book follows Ruby, a little girl who learns to talk about her worries and find ways to manage them.

• “Hey Warrior” by Karen Young
  Age Range: 5-12 years
  Explains anxiety to children in a simple way, encouraging them to see anxiety as something they can understand and manage.

• “Don’t Feed the WorryBug” by Andi Green
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A story that helps children understand how feeding their worries can make them grow and how to manage them.

•  “A Little Spot of Anxiety: A Story About Calming Your Worries” by Diane Alber
  Age Range: 4-10 years
  A book that introduces kids to the concept of anxiety and provides practical tips for managing it. Personally, this is my favorite book about anxiety for preschoolers and elementary aged kids and they have more books on more feelings!

• “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst
  Age Range: 3-8 years
  Though not specifically about anxiety, this book is often used to help children deal with separation anxiety and other worries.

• “Scaredy Squirrel” by Mélanie Watt
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A humorous story about a squirrel who learns to face his fears and discover new things outside his comfort zone.

• “Wilma Jean the Worry Machine” by Julia Cook
  Age Range: 5-8 years
  This book explains worry in a way that children can understand, offering solutions for managing it.

• “I’m Worried” by Michael Ian Black and Debbie Ridpath Ohi
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A lighthearted approach to worry, showing kids that it’s okay to feel anxious and that they can talk about it with friends. This book is also a part of a set with other feelings!

• “Breathe Like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere” by Kira Willey
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  This is an awesome book to help with anxiety! It’s a collection of short, guided breathing and mindfulness exercises to help kids manage anxiety and stress.

Books About Emotions for Kids

Helping kids recognize and understand their emotions is super important as they grow up, and this list of books is here to make that journey a little easier and a lot more fun! Each of these titles dives into different feelings—whether it’s joy, silliness, sadness, or even anger—showing young readers that it’s completely normal to experience a whole range of emotions.

• “In My Heart: A Book of Feelings” by Jo Witek
  Age Range: 2-6 years
  A beautifully illustrated book that explores different emotions, helping children articulate how they feel in various situations.

• “A Little SPOT of Emotion Box Set” by Diane Alber
  Age Range: 4-10 years
  A set of books that personifies various emotions (anger, anxiety, happiness, etc.) to help children understand and manage their feelings.

• “Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods That Make My Day” by Jamie Lee Curtis
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  This book introduces kids to a range of emotions, from silly to sad, and helps them recognize their own feelings. Ps. I had this book when I was little and I now read it to my daughter!

• “The Color Monster: A Pop-Up Book of Feelings” by Anna Llenas
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  This book is great for when we’re feeling all jumbled up and we have a hard time articulating how we’re feeling.

• “The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  A colorful book that explores different emotions, including anger, helping children recognize and express their feelings.

• “The Boy with Big, Big Feelings” by Britney Winn Lee
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A book about a boy who feels emotions intensely, including anger, and learns to express and manage those feelings with the help of others. (Also really beautifully illustrated if you’re a fan of that sort of thing like me!)

• “Tough Guys Have Feelings Too” by Keith Negley
  Age Range: 4-9 years
  A funny book with illustrations of tough guys having feelings to normalize feeling all sorts of different ways.

Kids Books About Anger

Understanding and managing anger is a crucial skill for kids. This list of books offers a variety of engaging stories aimed at helping young readers recognize, express, and cope with their feelings of anger in healthy ways. From exploring the roots of their frustrations to learning techniques for calming down, these age-appropriate books provide valuable insights and strategies for kids of all ages.

•  “When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry…” by Molly Bang
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  A story about a girl named Sophie who learns to calm down after feeling angry, highlighting healthy ways to process strong emotions.

•  “Anh’s Anger” by Gail Silver
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  This book introduces mindfulness techniques to help children understand and manage their anger.

• “I Am Angry” by Michael Rosen
  Age Range: 3-6 years
  A simple yet expressive story that shows children how it feels to be angry and ways to manage those feelings.

• “The Red Beast: Helping Children Understand and Manage Anger“ by K.I. Al-Ghani
  Age Range: 5-9 years
  This book uses the metaphor of a red beast to represent anger, teaching children ways to calm the “beast” when it wakes up.

• “When I Feel Angry” by Cornelia Maude Spelman
  Age Range: 3-6 years
  This book explores what it feels like to be angry and offers young children simple ways to deal with their emotions.

• “Hands Are Not for Hitting” by Martine Agassi
  Age Range: 3-6 years
  This book teaches children alternatives to using their hands when they are angry, promoting positive ways to express their feelings.

Kids’ Books for Dealing with Change (New school, moving homes, separation etc.)

Change can be daunting for young children, whether it’s starting school, moving to a new home, or adjusting to new situations. This list of books provides gentle, engaging stories to help children understand and manage their feelings around transitions. From familiar first-day-of-school jitters to moving homes, these books offer relatable characters and reassuring messages that can empower kids to face new experiences with courage and resilience.

• “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn
  Age Range: 3-8 years
  A classic story about a young raccoon dealing with separation anxiety on the first day of school, with a comforting message about love and security. As an anxious child, I loved when my momread this book to me.

• “First Day Jitters” by Julie Danneberg
  Age Range: 5-8 years
  A fun twist on the nervous feelings of starting school, where the character experiencing the jitters turns out to be the teacher.

• “Wemberly Worried” by Kevin Henkes
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A story about a little mouse who worries about everything, especially her first day of school, and how she learns to manage her anxiety.

•  “Llama Llama Misses Mama” by Anna Dewdney
  Age Range: 3-5 years
  An easy-to-read book about a young llama’s first day at school and how he adjusts to being away from his mother. My preschooler LOVES all of these books!

• “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst
  Age Range: 3-8 years
  Obviously I love this book, since it’s on this list a few times! Though often used for dealing with separation anxiety, this book is also great for kids facing changes like moving or starting school, emphasizing the connection with loved ones no matter where they are.

• “Moving Day!” by Jess Stockham
  Age Range: 3-6 years
  This book is targeted towards really young children and to help them understand and process the feelings associated with moving to a new home.

• “Alexander, Who’s Not (Do You Hear Me? I Mean It!) Going to Move” by Judith Viorst
  Age Range: 5-8 years
  A relatable story about a boy who is upset about moving and learns to cope with the change.

• “A House for Hermit Crab” by Eric Carle
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  This story follows a hermit crab who must find a new shell and learns to adapt to change, making it a great metaphor for moving or starting something new. This book is great for kids that are just learning how to read.

• “The Pigeon Has to Go to School!” by Mo Willems
  Age Range: 3-6 years
  A humorous book about a pigeon who doesn’t want to go to school, exploring feelings of apprehension and fear of the unknown.

• “My New Friend Is So Fun!” by Mo Willems
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  Part of the Elephant & Piggie series (also by the same author has the book above this one), this book is great for kids who are adjusting to new friendships, a common part of starting school or moving.

• “When You Are Brave” by Pat Zietlow Miller
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  This story encourages children to find courage when facing new situations, such as moving to a new place or starting school. This is one I use regularly with kids in my practice.

•  “School’s First Day of School” by Adam Rex
  Age Range: 4-8 years
  A unique story told from the perspective of a new school building experiencing its first day, reflecting the feelings of children attending school for the first time.

•  “Goodbye, Friend! Hello, Friend!” by Cori Doerrfeld
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  A gentle book that explores the idea that with every goodbye, there’s a new hello, helping children deal with transitions and change.

• “How to Get Your Octopus to School” by Cori Doerrfeld
  Age Range: 3-9 years
  A funny book about a child trying to get their anxious octopus out the door for their first day of school.

Books About Sadness, Grief, and Loss for Kids

From illustrated picture books to insightful guides for older readers, these book recommendations are crafted to gently guide children through their grief journey, fostering empathy, resilience, and hope along the way.

• “The Grief Rock: A Book to Understand Grief and Love” by Natasha Daniels
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  This gentle story uses the concept of a “grief rock” to help young children understand and carry feelings of grief.

• “I Miss You: A First Look at Death” by Pat Thomas and Lesley Harker
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  A straightforward guide that helps children process the loss of a loved one by explaining death in age-appropriate terms.

• “When Someone Dies: A Children’s Mindful How-To Guide on Grief and Loss” by Andrea Dorn
  Age Range: 4-10 years
  This book provides mindful practices and compassionate guidance for children working through feelings of loss and grief.

• “Lacie’s Moon: A Children’s Story About Grief” by Natcole Staskiewicz
  Age Range: 6-18 years
  A comforting tale about a child who finds solace in the moon, connecting it to memories of a loved one who has passed.

• “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst
  Age Range: 3-7 years
  This book reassures children that love connects them to those they miss, no matter where they are.

• “The Invisible Leash: A Story Celebrating Love After the Loss of a Pet”
  Age Range: 5-10 years
  Specifically for pet loss, this story shows children that a pet’s love and connection remain even after they’re gone.

• “Old Coyote” by Nancy Wood
  Age Range: 5-8 years
  A heartfelt story about an old coyote who accepts the natural cycle of life, making it easier for children to understand loss.

• “How I Feel: Grief Journal for Kids: Guided Prompts to Explore Your Feelings and Find Peace” by Mia Roldan LCSW LCDC
  Age Range: 8-13 years
  A guided journal with prompts to help children navigate their feelings of grief and find emotional healing.

• “Tear Soup” by Pat Schwiebert
  Age Range: 13+ years
  This metaphorical book illustrates grief as “making soup,” where each ingredient represents a different stage and feeling in the healing process.

• “A Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teens and Friends” by Helen Fitzgerald
  Age Range: 13+ years
  A comprehensive guide for teens, addressing the complex feelings and challenges they face after a loss.

• “Chill & Spill” by Art With Heart
  Age Range: 13+ years
  An interactive art journal that allows teens to express and process their grief through creative exercises.

• “Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas” by Alan D Wolfelt
  Age Range: 13+ years
  A practical guide offering teens 100 ways to cope with grief and find comfort after losing a loved one.

Looking for more tips on helping your kids cope with loss? Check out this blog post with specific ideas and tools.

When to Find a Therapist for Your Child

While these books are invaluable resources for helping children navigate their emotions, it’s important to remember that therapy can provide additional support during challenging times. Working with a therapist can offer kids a safe space to explore their feelings and develop coping strategies tailored to their unique experiences. Whether they’re facing big changes like moving to a new home or grappling with feelings of anger or sadness, therapy can help them build resilience and emotional intelligence. By combining the power of storytelling with the guidance of a professional, you can empower your child to face life’s ups and downs with confidence and understanding.

Find children’s therapy at an Ellie Mental Health near you.

The post Therapists’ Top Children’s Books to Help Kids Navigate Emotions: Anger, Sadness, Anxiety, and More appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

We’re starting to see tools pop up that use AI to make healthcare note-taking easier (huge win!), but we’re also seeing some concern around people using AI in place their therapists (*red flag*).

I’m a human therapist, and I was recently talking to a friend that uses AI for mental health help. He sees a therapist weekly, but he will occasionally use a therapy chatbot for questions and advice in between sessions. At first I was like, “HOLD up, this can’t be good.” The more I looked into the AI therapy options out there, the more intrigued I was by the pros and cons. This blog will outline those pros and cons of using AI in healthcare settings.

Where We’re Seeing AI Used in Healthcare

• Note-taking to help with insurance documentation
• Creating clinical summaries
• Creating treatment plans
• Streamlining billing processes
• AI virtual assistants can help people monitor symptoms and answer questions
• Chatbots offering coping skill ideas and guiding them to professional help

Concerns and Limitations with AI in Mental Health

There’s a lot that AI can do, and it’s continually expanding and changing, but we all know that AI chatbots are computers, not humans.

Lack of Relationship

A large part of the therapeutic process is building a true relationship—something that is not possible with an AI chatbot. A real therapist makes the conversation person-focused instead of popping out a general answer or list of things that other humans find helpful. A real therapist can gather things from your past, current and future and understand how you may need support especially during a time of crisis based on how you respond in the past (also, raises some privacy red flags, which we cover below).

AI Can’t Replace Human Empathy and Non-Verbal Cues

Humans can read your body language, be empathetic, and validate, and this isn’t something a chatbot can do (this is also a reason we’re not fans of text therapy here at Ellie Mental Health).

Since chatbots are not humans, they are not able to take into account all of the complexities of a human’s mental health and how delicate it can actually be.    

Because humans are complex, a mental health professional is more in tune with the problems that humans may be facing. AI has a bunch of data that is inputted, for example, if you say you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, they will create a generated answer that is shared generally and not specific to an individual. A real, human therapist isn’t going to give you a general answer and they are able to connect with you on a deeper level through the relationship that has been built.

In more extreme examples, there have been times where these AI chatbots have encouraged someone who is suicidal to take their life, told a recovering alcoholic to drink alcohol, or have given harmful eating advice to an AI chatbot specific to eating disorder (as mentioned in an article by National Geographic).

Receiving a Professional Diagnosis

According to Chaitali Sinha, senior VP of healthcare and clinical development at AI therapy app Wysa, the AI chatbots are unable to make diagnosis or prescribe medication because they do not have the same ethical and liability standards as licensed healthcare professionals. They may suggest that you meet criteria for depression, anxiety, or the sorts, however it is not a legit diagnosis.

Therapists can give you a real diagnosis, which can help you receive further services through insurance or medication through a prescriber. A diagnosis isn’t just a checklist of symptoms though, there are more nuanced things that go into a diagnostic assessment that are not yet able to be captured through an AI chatbot. A diagnostic assessment should tell a story, not just list off your problems in order to effectively offer a treatment path.

The Ethical Challenges of AI in Mental Health

Lack of Oversight

Are there ethical issues with AI therapy? To answer this question, we need to ask ourselves who defines what is ethical in mental health care…. And the answer is the state licensing boards. All therapists—regardless if they’re a psychologist or social worker or psychiatrist—have licensure boards that oversee their care. These boards monitor the therapists’ work, investigate issues of malpractice, and essentially decide who can and cannot see clients. Obviously, there are not licensing boards monitoring AI’s treatment and care. In fact, there is very little regulation of AI in the United States period.

Privacy Concerns

In any field, AI is based on data that is provided to them from people that use their systems. This means that as you use chatbots, you are training them. You are discussing the things that you may be struggling with, and based on your response, they are trying to figure out how to respond back. These solutions will be filtered in their system and used again when someone uses a similar key word, even though it might be an entirely different situation.

That being said, it is difficult to know if your private health information (PHI) is being protected if the chatbots are using it to train themselves for the next individual. This leads to a huge risk of having your private health information leaked, or even what information they could be gathering about you and then selling to third parties, something that mental health companies are prohibited from doing (and some companies like BetterHelp and Grow therapy have gotten in trouble for in recent years).

With a licensed mental health professional, you can guarantee confidentiality when it comes to your private health information unless there are very specific circumstances where there is risk of harming yourself, harming others, an elderly adult or a child is in danger, or if your records needed to be subpoenaed in court.

Pros and Cons of Using AI Tools for Mental Health Care

We’re not going to say that AI is all bad, but we’re also not big fans of it being used in place of therapy with a real human therapist, for various ethical and relational reasons.

Pros:

1. AI chatbots are more accessible for folks who are unable to afford therapy but need advice of an outside perspective or ideas.
2. If you’re afraid of judgment, talking to a chatbot might be helpful in getting through that fear.
3. Mental health concerns have been growing rapidly, and for someone who cannot get services, chatbots can give you reasonable advice around coping skills, communication skills, and other ideas for dealing with mental health struggles.
4. If you were recently diagnosed with a mental health disorder, a chatbot may be helpful in breaking down some of the symptoms and understanding more about this diagnosis (we get it– sometimes an AI summary can be helpful instead of spending long amounts of time reading through Reddit or Google).
5. AI can a helpful tool for providers dealing with administrative tasks like progress notes and treatment plans—allowing them to reduce the documentation burden and spend more time and energy on the actual treatment.

Cons:

1. There are errors in the system, and it is not individualized. They are just repeating back learned responses.
2. AI does not offer various other modalities like EMDR, ART, or Brainspotting. They’re limited in what they can help you with.
3. It may also increase the risk of your private health information being leaked.
4. Licensed professionals are held to certain ethical standards through their licensure and therefore have to uphold confidential rights when it comes to their clients. AI chatbots are not held to the same standards.

Final Thoughts

If you are struggling with the idea of talking to a human face-to-face, and after reading this blog are unsure of using AI chatbots, try virtual or telehealth therapy! You’d be speaking to a human, but you don’t need to leave your couch or go to an actual office (happy medium!).

Ellie Mental Health provides both in-person and virtual options with insurance options as well as out-of-pocket amounts. Check out the nearest location near you and call them to be scheduled as soon as possible!

Sources:

More people are turning to mental health AI chatbots. What could go wrong? (nationalgeographic.com)

What Is AI Therapy? | Built In

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What is a ‘Therapy Hangover?’

Ever felt a little zapped after an intense therapy session? That’s what some people might call a “therapy hangover”. It’s when you’ve dug deep, unearthed emotions and tackled some tough stuff. It can leave you feeling a bit drained, a bit raw. Sometimes it’s a part of the healing journey. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to take some time to regroup. Follow these steps for processing through the ‘hangover,’ taking care of yourself, and reaching out for support if you need it.

1. Capture Your Session Into Words

After your session, take a moment to digest the conversation. This could mean noting down the highlights, the emotions that bubbled up, or the insights that struck a chord. Consider how these reflections echo in your daily life or ongoing struggles. Keeping a journal can be a game-changer—it helps you crystallize your thoughts and trace your emotional journey.

Journaling Ideas for After Therapy

Here are ten journal prompts to encourage reflection after a therapy session:

1. What emotions did I experience during my session, and how did they manifest in my body?

2. What were my “aha” moments and why do those matter?

3. How did I respond to any challenges discussed in therapy, and what does that reveal about my coping strategies?

4. What are the actionable steps I’ve identified and how can I put them into motion this week?

5. Did anything during the session trigger a strong reaction? What was it, and what might it indicate about my feelings or beliefs?

6. How do I feel about the progress I’ve made so far in therapy, and what areas still feel challenging?

7. What support systems can I lean on to help me navigate the feelings or changes that came up today?

8. How can I practice self-compassion based on what I learned in today’s session?

9. What past experiences did I reflect on during our discussion, and how do they influence my current behavior or mindset?

10. In what ways can I celebrate or acknowledge the effort I’m putting into my therapeutic journey?

2. Practice Self-Care

Therapy can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, so it’s crucial to indulge in self-care. Engage in activities that soothe you, whether it’s a peaceful walk, a meditation session, or immersing yourself in a hobby you love. Making self-care a priority ensures you process your emotions healthily and shields you from any discomfort that might follow.

Here are Five Self-Care Ideas for After a Therapy Session:

1. Take a Nature Walk: Spend time outdoors to clear your mind and connect with nature. 

2. Create Art: Engage in a creative activity like painting, drawing, or crafting to express your emotions.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Try meditation or deep-breathing exercises to ground yourself and process feelings.

4. Cook a Comfort Meal: Prepare a nourishing meal that you love, focusing on the process as a form of self-care. I personally love to listen to music while I cooko or create.

5. Relax with a Book or Show: Enjoy a good book or watch a favorite show to distract and unwind after your session.

3. Integrate Insights Into Daily Life

Consider how the insights gained during your session can be applied in your everyday life. This might involve setting small, actionable goals based on what you discussed. For instance, if you talked about boundaries, think about ways to establish them in your relationships. By actively applying what you learn in therapy, you create a bridge between the session and your daily experiences, reinforcing positive change.

4. Reach Out for Support

After a therapy session, it can be helpful to connect with supportive friends or family members. Sharing your experiences can lend validation and boost your morale.

When sharing about a recent therapy session with a partner or close friend, focus on the key themes or insights that have come up, highlighting how they impacted you emotionally. You might share any breakthroughs or realizations that shifted your viewpoint on an issue, as well as any feelings of vulnerability that surfaced. It can also be helpful to talk about your goals moving forward and how their support might assist you in that process. By being open about your experiences, you invite them to understand your journey better and strengthen your relationship through shared vulnerability.

However, remember to respect your own comfort level and only share what feels right. If certain topics feel too raw to share, it’s okay to keep your conversation light or focus on general feelings rather than specific details. (Plus, talking about your experience in therapy actually helps to destigmatize the idea of others seeking help too!)

Final Thoughts

The work you do in therapy doesn’t end when you leave your therapist’s office. By reflecting on your session, practicing self-care, integrating insights, and reaching out for support, you can supercharge the therapeutic process and nurture lasting change. Recognize that these moments might be opportunities for growth, and remember that each step you take is part of your journey toward healing and self-discovery.

The post How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: 4 Things to Do After a Session appeared first on Ellie Mental Health, PLLP.

This blog post is based on an interview with experts Erin Pash, LMFT and Heather Reidinger, LMFT. We’re chatting about how therapy can amp up your communication skills, uncover those sneaky root issues, and lay out some fun steps to rekindle that emotional and physical flame with your partner. So, if you and your boo are in the intimacy struggle bus, keep reading to see how a little professional help can steer you towards a more vibrant relationship!

The Interview:

The Experts:

Erin Pash, LMFT

Heather Reidinger, LMFT

Miranda Barker, LICSW

Understanding the Importance of Intimacy and Sex in Relationships

Intimacy is more than just physical closeness. It’s about vulnerability, curiosity, and communication. Erin highlighted that intimacy often diminishes first as life’s responsibilities grow, leading to a range of relational issues. Heather emphasized that talking about sex at all stages of life acts as preventative care for a relationship.

Common Challenges Couples Face

Fear of Judgement and Rejection

Many people find it difficult to discuss their own sexual needs and desires because they’re afraid of judgment or rejection. Erin pointed out that a significant barrier is the culturally ingrained modesty around our bodies and sexuality, resulting in couples struggling to talk openly about their needs. Plus, there’s a huge level of vulnerability that is needed when talking about what you need or want!

Body Image and Postpartum Changes

Heather shared insights on the impact of body image issues, especially post-pregnancy for many people. She noted that many women experience grief over their postpartum bodies, which can affect their intimate relationships. Erin also touched on how body acceptance movements are helping to challenge outdated norms and encourage more open conversations.

Different Levels of Desire and Preferences

It’s rare for couples to have perfectly matched sexual desires and intensity. Erin suggested that mismatched sex drives can be addressed by focusing on the quality of intimacy rather than the quantity, scheduling intimate moments, and incorporating more foreplay into their routine.

How Couples Therapy Can Help

Couples therapy? You bet it’s a game-changer when things get tough (and even before then). Here are several ways it can help:

1. Facilitated Communication

Therapists provide a safe, neutral environment where couples can openly discuss their issues without fear of judgment. This structured setting encourages honest communication about deeply personal topics like intimacy and sex.

2. Identifying Root Causes

Therapists are trained to help couples identify the underlying causes of their intimacy struggles. These might be rooted in past traumas, cultural norms, body image issues, or medical conditions. By pinpointing these root causes, couples can actually address them more effectively.

3. Developing Healthy Communication Skills

In couples therapy, we don’t just chat. We craft the language of love. We teach you to voice your dreams, fears, and hopes in ways that honor your partner and fuel progress. Together, we strengthen the bedrock of your bond, turning hurdles into stepping stones.

4. Creating Safe Spaces for Vulnerability

Embracing vulnerability isn’t always easy, but it’s truly rewarding. Couples therapy offers a place for partners to open up, paving the way for a stronger bond.

5. Psychoeducation

Therapists are here to guide you through normal sexual behaviors, debunk the myths, and enlighten you about sexual anatomy and function. Pyschoeducation is a great way to say goodbye to anxieties and misconceptions.

6. Practical Tools and Exercises

Therapy sessions can include practical exercises and homework designed to improve intimacy. For example, therapists might suggest scheduling intimate moments, engaging in extended foreplay, or experimenting with new types of physical closeness–  see some specific tips below.

7. Medical and Psychological Referrals

If medical or physical problems are a barrier to intimacy, therapists can provide referrals to appropriate medical professionals. They can also work in conjunction with these professionals to ensure a holistic approach to treatment.

8. Normalizing and Destigmatizing Issues

Couples often feel isolated or ashamed about their intimacy struggles. Therapy helps normalize these issues, making it clear that many couples face similar challenges. This can reduce stigma and encourage more open discussion.

9. Rebuilding Trust

For couples dealing with breaches of trust, such as infidelity, therapy can be crucial in rebuilding that trust. Therapists provide strategies for healing and re-establishing a sense of security within the relationship.

10. Enhancing Emotional and Physical Intimacy

Through guided exercises and therapeutic techniques, couples can learn to connect on a deeper emotional and physical level. This enhanced intimacy can reinvigorate their relationship and pave the way for a more fulfilling partnership.

11. Long-term Strategies for Maintaining Intimacy

Therapists can help equip couples with long-term strategies to maintain and improve intimacy. These include regular heart-to-hearts, communication exercises, and ways to continuously explore each other’s needs and desires as the relationship evolves.

Couples therapy is a valuable resource for any couple looking to deepen their connection and overcome the barriers to a more intimate and satisfying relationship. Match with a couples’ therapist near you at Ellie Mental Health.

Actionable Steps for Couples

1. Open the Conversation

• Schedule Conversations: Start by setting a specific time to discuss your relationship and any topics related to intimacy—issues, hopes, ideas, etc. Avoid discussing sensitive topics in the heat of the moment.
• Normalizing Some of the Awkwardness: Understand that discussing sexual preferences can be awkward and uncomfortable at times (especially at first!), but it’s a crucial step toward a healthier relationship.

2. Be Vulnerable and Curious

• Ask Clarifying Questions: Encourage curiosity by asking your partner to elaborate on their needs and desires. Some ideas for questions and conversation starters can be found here.
• Share Without Fear: Create a safe space where both partners can share their fantasies and preferences without feeling judged.

3. Address Medical Concerns

• Seek Medical Advice: If there’s a medical issue, don’t hesitate to consult a healthcare professional. Discussing these issues can often lead to effective solutions.
• Psychoeducation: Educate yourselves about common sexual health issues that may affect intimacy. Need a place to start? Here are some relationship book recommendations our therapists shared, organized by issue or need!

4. Innovative Approaches to Intimacy Our Therapists Shared

• Scheduling Intimacy: Plan intimate moments to ensure that both partners can prepare mentally and physically.
• Sexual Games: Introduce playful elements like dice or cards with different sexual positions to make intimacy fun and adventurous.
• Extended Foreplay: Set a timer to focus on foreplay and build up the intimacy, ensuring that both partners are fully engaged.

Reflecting on Growth

As Heather pointed out, it’s essential to reflect on the growth and progress made in your relationship. Acknowledge the small steps and celebrate the improvements. Remember, therapy is about uncovering the layers and finding new ways to connect deeply with your partner.

Final Thoughts

In a nutshell, figuring out intimacy in a relationship is like embarking on an adventure that needs a map, some teamwork, and a whole lot of heart-to-heart chats! Couples therapy is like having a trusty guide that helps you tackle the tricky stuff, teaches you how to communicate like pros, and boosts that oh-so-important emotional and physical connection. By diving into the treasure chest of tools and wisdom therapy offers, couples can squash those pesky challenges, spice up their intimacy, and craft a relationship that sparkles! Just remember, the path to a fantastic partnership is sprinkled with respect, curiosity, and a dash of growth. Here’s to striding toward a more loving and unshakeable bond!

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